gerbil runner

I'm so sorry. Losing a mom is awful, and Fay was priceless to all of us. Be good to yourself.

Get better soon, Rich! I'm sure the hospital staff is learning something from him in the meantime .

I know Fay has finally gained release from her broken body, but it still hurts. She was beautiful, unique, and so full of spirit. Praying her family will make their way through the next few days as well as possible. Fay, I know you didn't want a memorial, but I have a feeling there's a big "Welcome Home" party somewhere in heaven for you.

Prayers going out for Rich. Hope he's recovering well.

I started a thread about what your loved one might do in heaven. I think it belongs in Grieving, but figured a note about it here might help. Go tell us what someone you know in Heaven is up to!

The comment Patkid made about my mom teaching Brian to sing made me think. What would your loved one be doing in heaven? I'll start. My mom would be in the vocal choir, the bell choir, maybe checking out the guitar section. She'd dabble with the piano. She'd be the one telling the new musicians that they can do it! Mom would look up her family members, of course. She'd straighten out her relationship with her mother, and tell everyone about Patrick. She'd be cooking a big meal - someone else will clean up after, since this is heaven. They'd play cards after the meal. There would be lots of laughter and joking. Mom would be showing off her sense of the ridiculous. Later on, she'd visit the artists. She'd draw and paint, maybe sculpt. Knitting, with someone else to sew the pieces together. Soap making, jewelry making, ornament making would all get their turn. Of course, the library would be another favorite place. Imagine all of eternity to get to all those books... Mom would have questions for God, and would have no problem asking. Can't forget her fishing spot - where she could sit and look down on earth while she's fishing, to keep an eye on all of us. There would be no shoes in Mom's heaven. Lots of chocolate. Since her body would be young again, she'd play a little tennis, do a little biking like when I was a kid. Iggy, our family dog, would be right near her. Mom would give him gift-wrapped bones so everyone could laugh at him shredding the paper off, like he did every Christmas. Just like on earth, Mom would never run out of things to do, people to see. Eternity will suit her just fine. So...what is your loved one up to in heaven?

I'm so sorry for the pain you feel, and I understand it. After my mom was diagnosed with brain mets (huge ones, at that) we knew that with her type of cancer it was only a matter of time. It's ok to grieve. It's ok to be sad. It's normal to have dreams of "impossible". Tackle treatment and possible treatment however Ken wishes. And take note of whatever strikes you as worthy of remembering. Cancer is a weird dance of hope for a cure and memories that will sustain if a cure is not to be.

Overall, great news. Make the ice cream count - get the good stuff . May you have many, many years of careful checkups.

Sounds like gallstones are causing some problems (dark urine, temp). Sad to say, but it is sometimes necessary to be a noisy, annoying advocate. Keep at the doctors. Change doctors if you get no results. You're doing a great job for Thomas. Keep it up. God helps those who help themselves - and I'll keep you in my prayers.

Oh, Fay. I pray for your comfort. There aren't words good enough for what else I wish for you. You remain an inspiration. May God's presence be felt by you and your family.

Lint! Lollipops! Listerine, legos, leftovers...

Yikes! I guess this wasn't on the list of things you WANTED to do in this lifetime. "May you live in interesting times" is a curse. Hope you have some boredom headed your way .

Lilian, I'm so sorry. Call the airline and ask for a "compassion" fare. And ask your doctor for an anti-anxiety med for the flight. Remember, it's much safer than driving, no matter how it feels . If you can't get anything from you doctor, take some Dramamine. You'll be in my prayers.

Fay, I too am thinking of you and hope you are comfortable. You've shown yourself to be a true class act.

Try Lansinoh-type lanolin - look in the drugstore with the baby supplies. It's used by breastfeeding moms for cracked nipples (yes, it's as bad as it sounds ). There are usually store brands which are cheaper. It's highly purified lanolin, very thick stuff. It will stain, so put old socks on afterwards. I haven't seen anything which can withstand this treatment - including the monster calluses on my feet. A little goes a long way. It's great for chapped lips, too - but like I said, it WILL stain so be careful.

Gail, I found your five pounds (and they brought some friends ). Seriously, though, I hope your scans are perfect. Try some Fisherman's Friend cough drops - they're nasty enough to scare most coughs away. They also come in a sugar-free version to spare your teeth the constant sugar-bath. As the mother of 2 little germ factories, I know how impossible it is to avoid these "bugs". Fell better soon.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It really shows in the photos how much your mom loved her grandchildren.

Lily, that's simply beautiful.

Fay, have you tried the patch (fen something - can't remember the name)? It worked well for my mother when she started having trouble swallowing - kept ahead of discomfort. Also, it didn't cause drowsiness. So many times, it seems your medical support has not been there for you. I pray you have someone truly gifted to help you now.

Fay, I'm so sorry you have to deal with rx allergies in addition to the other problems. Not fair! Sometimes things change, though. My mom was very sensitive to all morphine-related meds for years (I remember one memorable encounter with a prescription cough medicine which was supposed to be ok for someone with morphine allergies ). She took percocet on an as-needed basis every day after her diagnosis, and liquid morphine at the end with no problems. I sincerely hope you have someone very knowledgeable and empathetic who is helping with your medications. You're such a wealth of information for us all - you deserve a real superhero to help you now.

My mom always said wakes and funerals were for the living, not the dead. You choose whatever you want! And I'm sure there will be a helluva party in your honor. I'm so glad you are able to write and talk to us - those of us who are caregivers really need to hear such plain talk, because some of us are caring for people not able to speak so certainly about their wishes. Prayers that God will take you very gently by the hand when the time comes.

Oh, I'm so very sorry. I was wondering how Jen was doing. My prayers go to you all at this time.

Fay, I too am so happy to see your smiling face at last. My mom, very early on, was at risk of serious bleeding. The doctors advised having morphine on hand, which would ease breathing and anxiety in case of a major bleed. I pray this never happens for you, but I know you would want your loved ones to be prepared as best as possible.

We finally had the memorial for my mother yesterday at the church my folks belonged to for 10 years. It was pretty simple, just a few remarks by the minister and two songs played by the bellringers of the church as part of the normal service. We were supposed to host the coffee hour, but last week we got snowed out, and this week was the annual congregational meeting - no coffee hour. It was just as well, because the first hymn was "Amazing Grace", which has been a family staple for singing and ringing. All I could think of was how Mom's beautiful, strong voice would have carried through the church, and I started to cry. I wept through almost the whole service, just feeling her absence. I never could have served cake afterwards. During the wake and funeral, I was still feeling a sense of relief that Mom no longer had to endure her debilitated body. Also, there were so many people i hadn't seen in years, people who wanted to know about my brother Pat. I had put together a board of photos, and spent a lot of time telling people about Pat and the photos. Now, 2 months later, the loss is so much more real. The hospital things are gone from their house. I've been to the cemetery twice. Every event, from holidays to school concerts, reminds me that Mom will never sit beside me for those events again. Normally, I can handle it ok, but the church service was too much. Dad brought up the handchimes(kind of a beginner version of handbells), and Kyle and I played quite a bit. We helped Danny and JJ try them out, and even my husband Bob got in on the act. That was much better - and Mom would be pleased to hear the music. So I guess this too shall pass. But I have a lot more tears to work through first.

I'm so sorry, Kelly. One of my aunts died of pancreatic cancer, and we originally thought that's what my mom had. The stats are grim, as pancreatic cancer typically does not respond well to chemo. But there are ALWAYS exceptions. Prayers for your cousin and all of your family.