gerbil runner

Glad it's done, Fay. Praying for infection and relief real soon.

Yay, Joanie! Glad you're home where you belong. Now get some rest!

Prayers going up for Fay. Hang in there, and feel better soon.

I found a site which has a good, concise page about the dying process. Go to http://www.hospicenet.org/html/preparing_for.html Hope this is helpful.

I'm so sorry, Troy. How wonderful that you got to spend Christmas with her, though. Wishing you peace in the days ahead.

I'm so sorry, Pat. Wish that words could make you feel better.

Bill, I'm sorry your wife is suffering from the WBR, but even though I'm no expert, it sounds like there was an awful lot of "actvity" in many different areas, which would point toward WBR for treatment. Even so, it seems the dr.'s should have been more upfront about the risks. You probably would have made the same choice, but you would not feel so betrayed now.

I'm so sorry, Tina, and I understand. 2005 was that way for me. But even the worst of years hold golden moments - 2005 was the year I had my gallbladder out in emergency surgery, the year I didn't run at all, the year I started therapy due to depression, the year our business got sued, the year my aunt was diagnosed with sclc, the year my mom got brain mets, and the year my mom died...but it was the year I found out I really do have a big brother, like I always wanted. What a huge gift, what great memories of his 2 trips and reunion with my mom, his birth mother for whom he had searched for 4 years! No matter how many tears you shed this year, there will be many pearls you keep. Search them out and save them. Take photos, make a family tree, learn the quirky stories of your family. Think of this year as a gift, the year you know you must get all you can into your relationships with your loved ones. So many people are taken by surprise and lose those stories, those "last chance" moments. And if you're wrong, and everyone in your family enjoys a joyous entry into 2007, think of all the quality time you'll have spent with them . I hope you are happily surprised by the coming year.

I am so sorry...we thought my mom had pancreatic cancer when she was first diagnosed, and my aunt died of it 11 years ago...it's a very grim diagnosis. Prayers for your family.

I'm so sorry, Pat. It sounds much like the way my mom was for the last couple of days. Think of his peace at this time as evidence that you have done everything, and done it well. Talk to him - I'm sure he still hears you, even if it takes too much energy to respond. Stay close to him, and call hospice with any questions. PM me if you want to talk about how it may go. Have courage - God will hold your hand as you hold Brian's. You remain in my prayers.

My mom used to have brief "pity pot" sessions, and end them by saying she really shouldn't complain. I used to tell her she had every right to complain; then I'd find something hopeful to say. Validate the horrible experience your mother is having. Tell her the decisions on treatment are hers - whether it's to stop everything or travel the world in search of "snake oil". Your honest support will give her some strength. When it comes to cancer treatments, especially for such a tenacious beast as sclc, there is no "right" or "wrong" choice - just the patient's choice. Make your mom a milkshake in her favorite flavor. Calories are vital. She'll feel better if she drinks a lot of fluids, too. Spoil her rotten. Why not? Wish I could say something more helpful. Keep hope alive as much as possible, but put your mother's wishes and comfort at the top of your priorities.

I am so very very sorry to read your news. Keep the camera handy as well as the kleenex. And Pat, know that caring for Brian will be a great source of comfort to you. A good hospice is a great resource. They have big shoulders and ears. I pray your Chrismas, while bittersweet, will be mostly sweet.

Yes, I remember. Hope your dad is showing my mom "the ropes" this Christmas.

Shannon, you've already covered the most important part - love and support your dad no matter what. For some people, to quit smoking is a Herculean task. My mother also underwent huge psychological difficulties when she quit smoking. In the early 80's, she quit for 9 months. The cravings were gone, but she was depressed, angry, combative and paranoid. She did quit for good after diagnosis - she had a bleeding lung tumor, and was terrified she would cough and bleed to death (a very real risk). Your dad needs to be upfront about the smoking - there are medications (antidepressants, not just patches) which can help if he wants to try to quit. Anyone who has severe psychological symptoms with quitting needs an understanding and well-versed doctor to help.

It's so hard...prayers for Tom and his family, and you too.

Funny, I was wondering yesterday how she was faring. Thanks for the update - she's a special lady.

So glad things are looking up for Joanie. She'll be glad whe "wasn't there" for this week.

I have to say that even though brain mets took my mother, the WBR did buy her time, and I do not believe it was side effects of the WBR which caused her decline. Mom had hearing loss and balance problems right after treatment, in addition to the short-term memory problems. However, the hearing and balance problems improved remarkably, and the memory problems also improved. Mom never lost her personality or longer-term memory. She kept her sense of humor. It was about 6 months after completion of WBR that symptoms began to return - nausea and fatigue mainly. MRI clearly showed regrowth of the original 3 tumors. Gamma knife did not really improve anything, but there were never any new symptoms. Memory and concentration did not decline. Mom could still play cards when so inclined. She just got weaker and weaker and weaker. She always recognized everyone who visited. My grandmother died of Alzheimer's, so I've seen dementia - my mother definitely did not have dementia of any kind. SCLC moves so quickly; the most likely scenario was that there was a great deal of cancer activity scattered in a way too small to be picked up on MRI. My dad and I have both seen the MRI's - we are no experts, but there sure didn't look like anything else but tumors. No additional cloudiness outside the tunor sites after WBR. So - nine months from WBR was what we got. Better than the few weeks without it. Mom never would have reunited with her son had we opted out of WBR. We were well aware of the risks, that Mom would probably be incapacitated within 2 years from treatment. But it was the only way to get any time at all. Sometimes WBR clearly makes sense, despite the risks. But the doctors owe it to patients and families to make the risks clear. I know many doctors are not as upfront as my mother's were.

If anyone thinks my post would be better in the "grieving" forum, I won't be offended, but I thought it was upbeat enough to put here. Even though the wake on Wednesday and funeral on Thursday were hard, there were many good moments and happy memories that were brought up. My aunt remembered going to Dollywood with my mom. Auntie Jan insisted her hair needed to be "done", so my mom set her hair for her. On the first ride, well... ...Mom almost peed herself laughing. Mom was a very good english hadnbell ringer. She was on tv with her solo rendition of "O Holy Night". Years before, she had been on local access tv singing with her guitar. She had the most beautiful voice, but never wanted to perform anywhere but for church and other religious functions. Dad brought the little bellringer angel Mom had made, since I didn't have a picture of her ringing bells. We sat it on the top of the kneeler. My 14-year-old son surprised everyone by getting up to speak about his grandma at the funeral service. He remembered all the crafts she made which were scattered around the house, and how she always fussed over holiday dinners. "Does anyone need anything else? Do you have everything?" "Darn it, the only thing we need is for you to SIT DOWN AND EAT!!" Because we had family members who could not come to both the wake and the funeral, we planned to have a short viewing before the funeral service. Mom was very clear that her casket should be closed for the service, so the original plan was to bring everyone out so the funeral director could remove her rings and close the casket without an audience. Well, there were so many people there, all busy reminiscing, that the casket had to be closed in front of a roomful of people. Mom would have had plenty to say about that! "Come on, already! I'll close it myself if I have to!" My mom was the kind of person who made an impression. Nobody would have to think "Claire Hill...umm, was she the one..." Everyone who met her would have a clear memory of her humor, her talent, just her overall presence. Mom never lost her sense of humor. When her pastor visited two weeks before she died, he asked her if she was at peace. "What, are you trying to hurry me along?" she quipped. The next week, a neighbor came to visit and brought a book to sing Christmas carols. My aunt said, "You gotta be kidding. Claire's the one with the voice. Even now she could sing better than me!" Mom opened her eyes and said "You got that right!" And she did sing that day. Somehow, this just strikes me funny...a few days before she died, I was sitting with her. She woke up and started trying to sit up. I asked her if she wanted me to raise the bed, but she ignored me and tried again to sit up. Well, of course she couldn't - she hadn't been able to sit up in over a month. So after a moment she just gave up and said, "Rats!" in a disgusted tone. I don't know why I found this funny rather than sad...maybe because she still sounded the same as she always had. After the funeral, we had a lunch at a local restaurant. Mom insisted we take everyone out to eat after (she originally wanted a dinner, but Dad convinced her lunch would be better, just from a logistical standpoint). We even served a dessert tray...Mom wouldn't have had it any other way. Love you, Mom.

Well, phooey! Jim, hope the "cocktail" is a thousand times harder on the cancer than you. Keep on fishin'.

Prayers for you and Joanie. Dear Lord, please grant the surgeon skill, and heal Joanie.

Ya know, Cindy, DeanCarl (and my mom, in her own way) learned how to get the most out of a smaller world. Your pulmonologist needs a different question; "If you were in my shoes, what would you try to make breathing easier?" Getting "better" may not be possible, but getting more mileage out of what your lungs can do may be well within your reach. Pulmonary rehab, perhaps? Learning how to get more out of the lungs you have may help you out. Darn it, get an electric can opener! And what organizations around you can offer help? Save your strength for what you really want. Make friends with the scooter. Find a buddy for ice fishing to drill the hole. You're a strong, creative lady - use those smarts to figure out how to preserve what means the most to you. You have enough of yourself left to want more, so figure out how to get it - you've got some livin' left to do. We know you can outsmart your new limitations. Go ahead and grieve your loss - a good b!tch session always seems to help. And then go ahead and figure out how to move on. I'm rooting for you!

I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to call hospice in. But they can be a wonderful resource - make sure you speak to the social worker.

http://www.legacy.com/providence/Obitua ... d=15972628 HILL, CLAIRE (THIBAULT), 61, of Mill Pond Rd., passed away December 11, at home surrounded by her loving family after a two year battle with cancer. She was the beloved wife of Lyle M. Hill; they enjoyed 39 years of marriage. Claire was an accomplished solo and choir vocalist, guitarist and English Handbell Ringer. She enjoyed painting, knitting, fishing, reading, and crafting. She will be remembered by her family and friends for her sense of humor, quiet determination, and love of chocolate. Claire was a daughter of the late Roland and Irene Thibault. Besides her husband, she is survived by her daughter, Jennifer Lavoie of Foster, RI and her recently reunited birth son, Patrick Channing of Florida; five grandchildren; a sister, Janice Conway of CT and many cousins, nieces and nehphews. She was sister of the late Shirley Brodeur. Her funeral service will be held Thursday 10:00 A.M. in the AVERY-STORTI FUNERAL HOME, 88 Columbia St., Wakefield. Burial will be in Quidnessett Memorial Cemetery, North Kingstown. Visiting hours Wednesday 4-7 P.M. In lieu of flowers donations may be made to LUNGevity Foundation, 4541 North Ravenswood Ave., Suite 303, Chicago, IL 60640.

Fay, my mom always admired your strength. So now you have a new angel pulling for you. Prayers that you quickly overcome this latest setback.