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paddy

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    It hits me at weird times

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    I know what you mean Amy. It hits you so suddenly. I was doing fine today until I started to go through some of my husband's large collection of books. I had a phone call in the middle of this and broke down on the phone. Felt such an idiot, I had to call the person back I hope she understood.

    My heart goes out to you and you will be in my thoughts.

    Paddy

    Lucie Update

    in NSCLC GROUP

    Posted

    Thanks for the update on Lucie Don. I am not surprized that she is tired, what with the treatments and all the good works she is involved in.What a courageous lady she is! You two are really an inspiration.

    Enjoy the break and have a good time together. Lots of love, Paddy

    My Best Friend, Mom

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Dear Shannon,

    Yes, this pain is sometimes too much to bear but we have to bear it. We have to get through it because there is no alternative. Our loved one's would not want us to give up on life.

    Every time I get maudlin, I have to remind myself that my husband is no longer suffering and is in a better place. Even though I want him back he wouldn't want to be back suffering in the way he was before he died.

    As Ginny has always said "Keeping busy, busy, busy, helps with the grief", and getting out and mixing with other people is good too as it keeps you from thinking these sad and dark thoughts.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers,

    Love,

    Paddy.

    Darn it!

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    Treebywater,

    Please don't blame yourself, how were you to know you were getting a cold. You are doing all the right things and I am sure your Mom will be alright. The same thing happened when my daughter came to visit her Dad, she picked up a cold on the plane. She did exactlly what you are doing and he never did get it.

    The quote at the end of your post took me way back into my childhood.

    My mother used to have the same quote on a picture in our house in England. When my Mom died it was passed on to me but it vanished when we moved from that house later on. I miss that picture. Paddy

    Hi. I have stage 4 adenocarcenoma - original site, Lung

    in INTRODUCE YOURSELF!

    Posted

    Dear Melanie,

    So very sorry that you find yourself in this position. You sound like a very brave lady.

    As far as your husband is concerned I think that often men are so used to being in control and "fixing things", that when faced with something they can't control they "loose it". Your husband is probably scared out of his mind too. I know I felt like that all the time, you feel so totally helpless and yes, angry with life, although I tried not to show it. Have patience with him he is only reacting like this because he loves you and doesn't want to lose you. I think if you could get him to counciling as the others suggested it would be a good thing.

    Lots of love and prayers coming your way,

    Paddy

    What not to say to a grieving person...

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    I agree these are all inapropriate things to say, but what do you think folks should say. The only thing I can think of is "I am so sorry" and that really isn't adequate.

    I agree that people shouldn't ask what is needed but rather just help where it's needed.

    I remember reading a story about a man , (in England,) who turned up at a friends home where he collected all the shoes in the house and pollished them!

    In my case, some friends of mine, (I don't even know who they were, as no one would tell me,) gave my daughter, (at least I think my daughter was in cahoots with them although she still denies it,) a $100 dollar note to slip in my purse. I knew that I hadn't put it there as I have never kept so much cash on me, however I can tell you that I was so very grateful. It came in extremely handy while I was waiting for the cash to "flow" again, in fact, it was a life-saver. I will definately pass this kind deed on.

    Paddy

    Off the beaten path

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    So Glad you have found a place to love Ginny, it's beautiful! I understand completely too. I feel the same way.I too am thinking about leaving my home and buying a town house nearer to my kids. I dread leaving these memories but can't live with them either.

    God Bless you and your kiddies in your new home and so glad you are NOT leaving us! Paddy.

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