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We need a program to keep all the players straight: Snowflake = Becky ts = Stephanie But since most of us have some sort of chemo brain or just plain overtaxed, we understand. Libby - when everyone was wondering where you went, I saw in your profile that you work with the numbers. I was going to suggest that we had lost you to tax season. My powers of deduction (not to be confused with tax deductions) have not been completely lost.

Well Eric, looks like your pal Robert couldn't handle you being our cover boy. He's gone and introduced himself on GRACE! What a story. I'm guessing you sent him our way? Got to spend time at the ER Friday - my Dad kind of fainted at the breakfast table. Probably a little seizure, but two nights in the hospital and none of the tests were conclusive. He's headed for his 92nd birthday in two weeks -and seems to have his eye on 100. A couple of family dinners over the weekend, dim sum with friends, a 1/2 mile swim today (finally!) and a haircut. Shortest it has been in a long time. I think she was so confused by the various colors and textures from all the chemo type drugs that she just kept cutting until it seemed somewhat uniform. I'm talking 3/4" on the back of my head (and a shaved neck) and maybe 1 1/2" where it is longest - on top. Most of the Tarceva hair is gone since I stopped taking it end of December. But you can still see the 3 week cycles of carbo on the shafts if you know what to look for. Annette - thanks for catching the joke - and yup, Stephanie is the name. Oh, if you happen to double the amount of butter in your banana bread? Just really good banana bread. The recipe called for 1/2 stick and my brain thought 1/2 cup (typically, 1 stick is 1/2 cup.) Oops. Really good with salty caramel and Mexican chocolate ice cream - just to lighten things up.

Hi Cathy, I third the idea of you taking a break for your self - work can be pretty overwhelming to return to, but maybe a good change of pace. Still, hope there is something fun planned for the weekend. Sounds like your Dad did a great job getting through the concurrent chemo/radiation. I am sorry I did not respond and added to the confusion regarding chemo cycles. I had 4 cycles of chemo - which was 2 infusions day one, one infusion day 7, no infusion day 14, repeat a week later for 4 cycles. The concurrent chemo is given as a smaller dose and typically once a week as radiation is done daily. And, as with your Dad, often followed by a couple of big mop up chemos. So I was talking about apples and oranges. Nice to humor his chemo brain - I played a game after dinner last night (Apples and Apples) - and it involved very short term memory skills - I really had to concentrate, and despite that, I won! But I can tell I have a bit of lint in my dryer screen. If you see Ned, please give him a very soft hug from all of us on the mainland. And one for you and your Dad too.

Ron, Is it okay if I got a chuckle that Pat received a poem when the pig died? And that she saved the poem? I'm clearly not the most sentimental of folks, but the idea has me smiling. On the other hand, last Thursday night I had a real cryfest after feeling bad for a week. Friday started much better days. I think crying clears things physically and emotionally. There was a time in my life that I did not cry for years - when and why I started again is a mystery to me. I think it was good to experience that sadness and hurt, as it also allowed me to appreciate the pleasures as well.

Hi Ronnie! Great to hear from you and the update on Miya. Do I remember that she will be returned to the wild, or is she too domesticated now for that? And some new friends for you at the centre - that's swell.

I thought this was a pretty good article that might be of interest: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/27/weeki ... grief.html Sometimes, they ask you register on their site, but usually, if you search for the title, it bypasses the log in. So if the link doesn't work, Google "Why we write about grief"

Good morning all - here it is still morning. Baking a new batch of granola this morning, after a cup of joe (that's coffee.) Gray, not so cold out there, no plans for the day. Had guests over last night and M and I made quite a nice meal without a speck of meat. But lots of flavor. One vegetarian at the table, but everyone likes fancy beans, grain pilaf, mixed green salad, homemade bread, brussels sprouts and carrots, lemon bars and blueberry ice cream, red wine and champagne, right? Finally pulling out of my chemo funk from Friday a week ago. And starting to think about the scan in a week and a half... Oscar night - we've seen 8 of the 10 up for best movie. I recommend The King's Speech most often, but I wouldn't guarantee it will be the winner. We like to see movies on the big screen, but forego the soda and popcorn! We have a couple of pretty nice theaters to choose from, with seats the are very comfortable and rooms that are well kept. Still, a bit pricey.

Caught a bit of spring today by spending two hours at the Flower and Garden Show. Did not buy anything, but had a nice time with a friend and looking at the display gardens. It was 24 degrees at 7:30 this morning - and 29 now at 4:30 pm. Still a touch of snow around from Wednesday night. Judy - have a wonderful trip.

Always tough to wait to hear news - try to get some sleep tonight and call the doctor in the morning. Hazy xrays can be lots of things - infection, inflammation, etc. Even if they suspect lung cancer (which doesn't really sound like the case based on the pulmonolgist's reaction) they won't know until they can get a biopsy. Just getting evaluated for lung cancer tends to take too much time. So, take it easy, talk to the doctor before the weekend and see what they have to say. I hope you will come back and let us know that it is scar tissue or inflammation. Take care of yourself.

Nope. Please do read the link on GRACE - it is very helpful.

Pete, I am in the "it's too good to be true" camp as far as Vit C infusions go - seems like they make someone a lot of money and that there aren't vetted trials to show that they do any good. A few people that I know who have tried it and attribute their good health to the alternate treatments were also doing chemo and radiation - who's to say which worked? It would be helpful here (and on GRACE) to get a better idea of of your son's treatment history - as you will see from the stories here, we have folks who have been on 4 or more chemo protocols and are getting along 4 or more years later. Has he tried Tarceva or been tested for a EGFR mutation or ALK? There are also clinical trials he might try - with some very good cancer centers in MA, he may find one that he is eligible for and that might make a difference? At some point, we may all run out of tried options, or may want to stop them due to the accumulated side effects, or we may want to try some of the alternative therapies out there. I just hope that he and his caregivers are able to make choices based on solid information and what is best for him. It is wonderful that you are able to offer him support in any way - my Dad is just a little too out of it to do more than to ask how I am feeling, when he remembers that I am in treatment. He lost two wives to cancer and a daughter to leukemia - I kind of feel like I have to survive and be well, partly for him! He has his sights set on 100 - that's 8 years from now, so I have a lot of surviving to do.

Welcome Doc! Nice stories - fingers and toes crossed for you that the reports are great.

31 this am, up to 44 in the afternoon, mostly a clear blue sky. Internet was down for most of the day - just had a visit from the cable guy. Okay by me, I read and slept with good kitty company while M was outside doing a second day of yard work. Waiting for the repair guy meant we did not get out for brunch, perhaps we will go for dinner. I don't much feel like cooking and M earned the night off.

Hi Cathy, I made it through my chemo two years ago without too serious problems, and did not have radiation concurrent, so I'm probably not much help. This round is manageable as well - I lose 5 pounds, put of 3, lose 7, put on 5...on my better weeks, I am eating fine and indulging (as always) in anything I like, including plenty of chocolate and ice cream. Keep snacks available to him all the time, and boost his milkshakes with protein powder or whatever is tolerated. I know I have lots of times I don't feel like eating, but keeping something in my belly is key for me. That's harder if he is experiencing throat or mouth problems. Is he going for 6 cycles of chemo? As far as I have read, 4-6 cycles with platinums is considered reasonable. If more than 4 is too much, he can say no (and I've known strong guys who've said no after 3.) Quality of life is part of the equation. This is something you might discuss with him and his oncologist. Bests

Hi Shelby, I am sorry for your loss - how long did your Dad live with his cancer, if I may ask? My Mom, my best friend, died from lung cancer when she was 57. The first year without her was very difficult. I was prescribed some anti-depressants at first since I could not concentrate at work or get through the day without crying. Back then, I did not know enough to ask for a counselor to talk with - or to tell the doctor that I had stopped taking the drug cold turkey! What helped? About a month after my Mom died, I went to a family reunion of her side of the family. I met a bunch of relatives for the first time, people who knew her from childhood. They shared stories and gave me unconditional love. It was great. I'm still in touch with some of those people today though we live on either coast. You might look for a grief counseling group at your local hospital or health care center - some are open to people with no affiliation. Or Gilda's Clubs across the states have groups too. Your preference may be to go out under the night sky and talk to your Dad, or Randy's favorite is to buy a dozen eggs and take them out and throw them (hopefully not somewhere you will get in trouble.) It takes time to grieve. I also had a ring made out of one of my Mom's for me as a reminder - it stayed on my pinkie for at least three years and now resides in my jewelry box. I don't forget her, but I don't need the physical reminder anymore. Of course, that was half my life ago - 27 years already! Be kind to yourself - it does get better.

Critter stories: Lived up at Lake Tahoe for awhile. We had a bat that got stuck between the sliding glass door and the screen door. I'm not sure why we couldn't just go outside and open whichever door was on the outside and let the poor thing go free. Noo, we called animal control. The guy comes into the house (okay, now I know the screen door was on the inside) and sprays the bat with mace! Yup, he is standing close enough that it ricoshays off the door and into his eyes! Poor little bat - I don't remember if he took it away or let it go. I had a kiwi plant (a series of them) but never got fruit from - never managed to have a fertile female plant at the same time as a male plant. My crazy neighbor down the block would harvest fallen fruit in the neighborhood. She brought me a brown bag of partially rotted kiwis she had picked up since my plant was bare. I left it out on the back porch overnight. I heard all this noise late that night and looked out the back door to find a snarling possum feasting on kiwi. That neighborhood had a few families of raccoons - just pretty cute up in the old willow tree, waddling down the alley, not so cute when they stole my corn and other vegetables. Previously, I used to house boat sit (really cat sit, but the cats lived on house boats - just like Sleepless in Seattle!) Coming back to the boat after dark one night, I see this animal down the dock. I call out with the name of the cat I am minding - a big ol' tabby. As I get closer, I realize I don't want to tangle with the teeth or paws of this creature - a huge raccoon. He almost made me walk off the dock, but then he ducked off and under one of the house docks. Finally, one of the houseboats was at the water end of the dock. Big sliding glass door at the front of the house, Had it open for the breeze, turned around and two ducks were wandering around in the white carpeted living room! Good thing there was carpet cleaner available!

Congrats!

Well, let's see, we started the day with yummy homemade granola and yogurt too. Then, drove up to the Internet/cable/phone provider - it took the guy a good 45 min. to find us the best deal - you'd think after doing that job 40 hours a week, he'd know it when you walk in the door? They make you feel like they are working magic to get you a special deal. We could have guessed it ourselves before we stood there and listened - after driving a half hour to get to their customer service office. After than, stopped at the Y for exercise - swam my 1/2 mile while M trod on the treadmill and listened to a guy grunt while fighting with his girlfriend. Home to leftovers, hail, and a cat playing ferociously with a paper bag. The type with corded handles - so he sticks his head or paws in the loops, and drags or pushes the bag around the room, jumps on the bag to make loud crushing sounds, hides in the bag looking out for prey...all pretty amusing unless you are trying to take a nap in the same room. I threw a handful of catnip outside to quiet the cat down, but he is already back looking for trouble.

I was told 3B after surgery in November 2008 - they found more than anticipated due to a false negative PTscan prior to surgery and inconclusive EBUS (where they stick a tube down the throat (or was it the nose?) and retrieve cells for study. Like Ned, it's semantics to say I am still 3B since I have mets to my liver now. But it is 2 1/2 years later and I am "still vertical" as an acquaintance said when she saw me last week. People do say the darnest things.

Welcome Nicky! Congrats to Mom and Dad.

You take care and let us do the heavy lifting.

Eric, Concrete is concrete here too - but many say cement without knowing they are wrong. I'm not sure how that started. Love the Italian story.

Bud, How is it I knew you'd be interested in the granola? I used the recipe from Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day (it's included so that you can make granola bread, but awfully good granola if you don't mind the free flowing type - versus the clumpy sweet kind.) I believe they recently posted it online, so I will see if I can link it here: http://www.artisanbreadinfive.com/?p=390 I used a bit less honey and maple syrup (just a little less) and forgot the water (what is that for?) and put the liquid ingredients in a measuring cup in the microwave for 20 seconds to make them easier to stir. Baked it a bit longer in one pan - till the pecans looked like they might get too dark, the rest was golden. Stir every ten minutes. Hmm, I did not see that it called for sunflower seeds - the book doesn't. M's already asked where the rest of the batch is - in a jar out of his regular view! I told him. It was very easy to make.

After a good melt down at the dinner table last night - from which we both emerged laughing - feeling much better today. Stayed up to watch a movie on Demand - The Constant Gardener. I liked it, but might be too much drama and too much talking to ghosts all sweet and nice for some. The African landscape was remarkable. Yesterday, made a big batch of granola - oats, pecans, sesame seeds, raisins, cranberries etc. Better than bakery fresh. M made the healthy "Slow cooked beans and kale" from the NY Times, but not with limas. This morning, we went out for breakfast - had 1 of 3 apple beignets, half the fresh and juicy corned beef hash, the hard cooked poached eggs (hated doing that to such beautiful eggs, but safety prevailed), half slice of giant toast, and excellent brewed coffee. M had fresh grapefruit juice - and I realized I don't think I have any drugs that have grapefruit warnings right now? Is that possible? Also in the restaurant were a table of chefs - including Michael Voltaggio who was on Top Chef Season 6. In town for some special eating event, and he chose the same brunch as we did! I did not disturb his morning. Then we walked to the Farmer's Market and strolled the commercial street. Nice morning. BTW - generally stay close home in August when the garden requires attention and the weather is nice, so I look forward to seeing Eric and Judy in KW if they make it to the PNW this summer. Seafair madness ends August 7, making the city much more pleasant. But the following two weeks always seem to fill up with social engagements.

eagle