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michellep

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Posts posted by michellep

    Wednesday's Air.

    in JUST FOR FUN

    Posted

    Good Morning :) It's looking like beautiful weather today. I know we need rain here for the farmers, but I wanna take care of some gardening today so they can have it tomorrow, right?

    We are enjoying our new sheltie puppy Sampson. Some of you have seen his pictures on FB no doubt. Working on the potty training with him is difficult so far. Someone told me to introduce him to a crate but after a few walk in visits there I closed the door and heard awful screaming. Apparently he got his little teeth caught in the metal grate door. :( We even thought a tooth came out. Not sure what to do now, so if anyone has any ideas I would appreciate it. The scented training pads don't work either.

    We bought another tractor this week LOL Many of you remember me as a California city gal and this country life sure is different. But, I love it here and never want to see California again.

    Well, if I'm gonna get anything done I best scoot.....have a great day everyone :)

    Sunday's Air

    in JUST FOR FUN

    Posted

    Good evening everyone! Beautiful day here in the mid 80's or so. We had a full day of fun with our new puppy "Sampson". He is an 8 week old sheltie. The little terror runs through the house chasing our cat "Randy". I'm so glad they are friends :)

    We also spent time with family who just moved home from Virginia. Danny retired from the Air Force after 20 years of service. He says all he wants to do for the next few weeks is go out on the lake and fish....his favorite activity.

    We're surrounded by a lot of farm land here so we have loads of corn popping up all over the place. I can't wait till it's ready so I can have plenty for the winter months around :) Last year I waited to long and it wasn't any good so I'm gonna make sure I don't miss it again.

    Anyway, I'll pop in tomorrow and see what you are all doing!

    what is the Importance??

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Copied from General forum:

    Hi everyone! Many of you remember me I know and many are new here. I was just thinking about all the changes both good and bad I've lived through these past 3 yrs since Donald was diagnosed with Lung Cancer.

    One of my thoughts was about lcsc when I first joined here. I was so frightened and lost trying to care for my husband and trying to understand what was happening to him and why. I had no place to turn before since the doctors were useless in educating me. I remember my very first post here so many came to my rescue immediately. I remember reading all the heart felt words posted by so many and it brought tears to my eyes. The true feeling of knowing you "aren't alone" ....I just can't find the words to tell all of you how very much your friendship meant and still means to me.

    My life has changed so very much since Don passed away. Moving from California all the way to a tiny little town in Illinois....oh myyyy what a change.

    BUT.....I want you all to know that I truly don't think I would have ever lived through the experience of that enemy we call cancer without you!

    God Bless each and everyone of you! You helped give me a new life! I love you all :)

    what is the Importance??

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    I'm thankful for the moderators and long term members who pay it forward and give back.

    Katie....you are so right about this. I must admit that I wasn't coming around so much after Don passed away because it was so painful for me. I feel terrible because I SHOULD give back and help the new members the way you helped me.

    I'm going to change that....get ready to see more of me my dear friend. If I can help anyone.....I certainly will :)

    My thanks to all of you

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Hi everyone! Many of you remember me I know and many are new here. I was just thinking about all the changes both good and bad I've lived through these past 3 yrs since Donald was diagnosed with Lung Cancer.

    One of my thoughts was about lcsc when I first joined here. I was so frightened and lost trying to care for my husband and trying to understand what was happening to him and why. I had no place to turn before since the doctors were useless in educating me. I remember my very first post here so many came to my rescue immediately. I remember reading all the heart felt words posted by so many and it brought tears to my eyes. The true feeling of knowing you "aren't alone" ....I just can't find the words to tell all of you how very much your friendship meant and still means to me.

    My life has changed so very much since Don passed away. Moving from California all the way to a tiny little town in Illinois....oh myyyy what a change.

    BUT.....I want you all to know that I truly don't think I would have ever lived through the experience of that enemy we call cancer without you!

    God Bless each and everyone of you! You helped give me a new life! I love you all :)

    do you think it's too soon for me?

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    It's been almost two months now since I came here for advice on seeing someone else. We are still together and very happy. I am so glad that I found someone who can relate to my feelings since he himself lost his wife within three months of me losing Donald. We are able to talk about our spouses and comfort each other. How special is that huh?

    Since moving here I am starting to turn into a country girl and am loving it! We spend a lot of time with his family and friends. Only thing I can't seem to adjust to is "lipstick" LOL In California never left the house without having my hair perfect....all dressed up....and "lipstick". Women here could care less about those things.

    I continue to talk to my husband daily and that will never stop. I think that somehow he was behind finding me some happiness again. I just hope that it lasts for a long long time.

    do you think it's too soon for me?

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Thank you all for your kind words. Once again as you always have for over 2 yrs now is comfort me. I don't know how I would have been able to cope without all of you!

    Today is the 18th month and yes I am sad and my thoughts are remembering my loving husband, but the tears are easier to manage.

    Knowing that my husband would want me happy is helping with the feelings of guilt no doubt, so I will put on a happy face for my new friend and enjoy our evening together.

    I only hope that this friendship lasts for a long long time. I love smiling again and being happy!

    Thanks again!

    do you think it's too soon for me?

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    I came here today to post about a new chapter in my life after losing Don 18 months ago and saw this thread.....how ironic huh?

    I too just recently started dating someone. I left California for Illinois and told myself this was going to be a new beginning for me. I have no doubt my husband would want me to be happy.

    The man I've met is wonderful. He lost his wife within three months of me losing Donald. I think that we appreciate each other so much because we can "relate" to such a loss.

    Only problem I am having now is "guilt". I ask myself...is this a normal emotion? It's not like I plan to marry this man...I can't imagine ever re marrying anyone. I just wanted a companion that I can enjoy time with and be able to laugh again and that's what he is giving me each and everyday.

    So....do you think this is too soon for me? How can I deal with the guilt I feel?

    How Do I "Live" Again?

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    Jean,

    I am so sorry I didn't see this post earlier so I could reply to you my friend.

    The words you wrote remind me so very much of myself. The feelings of confusion and the future. I have felt each and everyday for the past 14 months that I am slowly dying inside.

    This is why I have sold my house and am moving in about two weeks to be closer to my son. This big house is too lonely and there are painful memories everywhere I look.

    I don't think I will ever be truly happy again. Not like I was with Donald, but I will try to go on.....for my son.

    Jean.....my email is komi0922@yahoo.com if you ever want to chat. I also have yahoo messenger and will give you my cell number privately if you want.

    Lots of hugs and prayers for you dear one! I share your pain.

    14 months today

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    It's been 14 months today that my sweet Don passed. This morning I was cleaning out drawers in the bathroom and found a gold locket. I don't know why it was there, but I have a memory of Don giving that to me when we were newly married. I had no idea what was inside this locket but when I opened it, there was a photo of him on our wedding day.

    The tears just started flowing and I was so upset with myself. I always try to fight back tears. My mother always said that tears were a sign of weakness. Hospice told me that tears were a good way to release pain. Which do you suppose is true?

    I placed the locket open on the dresser next to my bed with many other items I have of him. Not sure when I'll be strong enough to look at it again.

    I despise cancer more than words can ever say. It destroyed my life and my family ;(

    A purpose for me?

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Thanks everyone! She is in the hospital right now with a slight heart attack. Hope she is home in the next couple of days. She is such a kind woman and so very easy to please.

    Going over to visit her today but until she comes home I have some projects myself to work on. Weather permitting of course :)

    A purpose for me?

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    I will be taking on yet another part time job starting Monday. I will be assisting in home cancer patients via the IHSS. I'll be taking care of IV infusions via ports and bed turning etc. I'm really looking forward to the ability to "give back" due to all my husband endured. Wish me luck?

    My patient is an 81 yr old with stage IV lung cancer. Her name is Adell and she is just adorable :)

    Wish me luck and I hope that somehow by "giving back" the lord will bless me with the ability to join my husband when my "time comes" as well.

    I'm happy :)

    Mom

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Susan,

    I'm sorry that this post is late. I haven't been on much lately but I want you to know how very sorry I am for your loss. We all have been so proud of you and your mom during this battle and I pray for God to bless each and everyone of you.

    ((((hugs my friend))))

    Michelle

    One year ago today

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    It was one year ago today that my loving Donald went to be with the lord. It has been a huge struggle for me since he left and it's hard to get motivated and get myself going anymore.

    Within a couple months of my husbands passing my son also moved across the country to be with his girlfriend, so I feel like I had a double loss shall I say.

    I'm learning new things each day. All of the things he used to take care of for me. Such as the car and the swimming pool.....what a challenge they were LOL

    I had planned on taking down my "memorial" today, but decided to wait on that. I don't feel strong enough just yet. So, I think I'll just spend the day alone and do my very best to reflect on all the happy times we had together instead of his illness and passing.

    Be in touch soon......love to all of you!

    It's been a long time since posting

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    I'm approaching the 11 month mark of Don's passing and I know I haven't posted for a while. My only excuse is pure sadness and depression. I don't do much of anything since my love went to heaven. I rarely even leave the house unless it's extremely important.

    I'm on depression and anxiety medication but they don't seem to do much of anything. I've already tried group therapy, one on one council and even yes, a shrink. No one seems to have the "words of comfort".

    So many people have told me that it get's easier in time. Well, what time? A year? Five years? Never?

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