Joppette

Hi Katy, This cancer journey can sure have some ups and downs, can't it? Nice to meet you, but sorry hubs has had a rough go of it. Hope things even out for you both! Judy in MI

Thanks Barbara! Judy in MI

Hello Barb, welcome back home. I'm just North of Grand Rapids, MI. I'm so sorry about the reasons for having to move back home, but how nice that you are able to do this for your Dad. When you get more information, that would help us help you. Is it small cell or non-small cell? Find out what kinds of treatment are they offering? If it is chemo, find out what kind. Carboplatin, Avastin, Taxol, and many more. Are they offering radiation? I am a lung cancer survivor, as well as a caregiver for my Mom, Dad and Sister. Let me know how we can help. Judy in MI

Good morning! It's bright and hot here. Well, maybe not hot yet. Still cools down nicely at night. But will see 90 today. And muggy. I do not breathe well in muggy weather on a good day, and with the pollen, dust, and mold allergies, on top of this cold, I really didn't do well yesterday. So the house is buttoned up, and I will stay indoors for the day. Yesterday we got the pontoon out of storage. We are taking a bunch of single Mom's kids fishing for the day in a couple of weeks. Our church does events for single Mom's that either pamper them, while we watch the kids, or give them a "day off" and we entertain the kids. This is their summer "day off". We plan on fishing, lawn games, and lots of good food. It should be fun. This weekend is the Memorial Day weekend, and hubs is itching to get out fishing. He did go out last night and got a beauty of a Pike, about 32 inches. We have tons of lakes around our home, and ironically, the lake we live on we don't have our boat on. The Department of Environmental Quality (DEQ) prevents us from putting a boat launch on what they call wet lands. So we've applied for a permit to do this, and have been told it will take at least 60 days, which puts us close to August! So we keep the boat on the trailer, and haul it around to the different lakes and fish and float. Next year we will have the launch in and that will be very nice. Congrats on the weight loss. You bet 10 pounds can make a difference in biking! Good for you. The Comedy night sounds like it was a lot of fun Judy. That's fantastic. Have a great day! Judy in MI

Vortex, well, you certainly did learn a lot in a short amount of time! The nausea thing stinks, but when I went through my chemo, I fought that as well. It was not strong enough to make me vomit, but I was just slightly nauseated all the time. So when food was brought to me, I'd just look at it with this frown on my face. They finally put me on Promethazine, and that did help a lot. But food also tasted like metal to me, so even without the nausea, it tasted awful, so I did wind up losing 35 pounds, and I'm not a heavy person. I would force myself to eat, but obviously was not eating great. I love how you ended your entry, about the kindness of strangers, and the love of your father. Very nice. Judy in MI

Hope you slept well last night. I agree with KW Judy. Searching for answers on the internet can lead to very frightening, often miss-leading information. Cancer grace, and us are your best resources. We've got experience as caregivers here, and as people that had the disease. Can't get much better than that. Hang in there. Things will work out as they are supposed to. Have a great day. Judy in MI

Welcome Alexandra, Thanks for the research! ts, the doctor that spoke at the seminar was a pulmonary surgeon, and he did say women in general are more prone to get lung cancer. You may not like what he said next, he said that all lung cancers are a result of breathing in poison. He said no matter what, lung cancer is the result. I know that won't be popular here, but I'm just passing on what he said. He said whether it's asbestos, chemicals, second hand smoke, or first hand, he very adamantly stated, that you don't get lung cancer unless you breathed in something bad. Now I'm ducking because I don't think his views will be appreciated here.

Hi all! Today was a major church day! Served at first service, went to second service, and had our annual church conference from 5:00-8:00 tonight! Whew! We did get our boat today. We took it through the car wash to get the mold and mildew off it after six months in storage. He is on the water still fishing. Am curious how he plans to get back up the hill (big hill) in the pitch dark which is here now. Whatever...not going to worry about it. Eric, I love reading your posts with these phrases that just bamboozle me! LOL! I agree with KW Judy that your Barbie sounds like a pot luck here. Sounds like you had a wonderful weekend. Nice to read. Laurie, I love sand hill cranes. I love their prehistoric screech, their fantastic large size, and everything else. They don't come on to our land for long with our dog. But they reside on the hill across from our lake and we love them. KW Judy, I think your Hubs might be right that this was a young off spring of the male. It was inspiring none the less. K, going to sign off. Judy in MI

Eric, PFT is Pulmonary Function Test. They make you blow into this thingy as hard as you can and as long as you can and it's not that pleasant. Then they tell you how bad your lungs function. Which is great fun when they say you are function at 55% of what you should be. Which is the score I got. And a 3 sport 11 y/o girl is a girl participating in 3 sports just like you said! LOL Sorry Dave, I happened on this and thought I'd answer it! Judy in MI

Hello, Being sensitive to his need for independence is important, but considering his age, mental sharpness, physical dexterity, are important. You would definitely have to make it part of a daily routine for someone to stop by and check on him. My Mom was dx in stage IV, and if not for my step-Dad, I'm afraid I would have had to move in there with her. She would never have moved in with me, even though I don't have children at home. Her independence was fiercely important to her. And I couldn't blame her. I think you pegged it right when you said he is not ready to feel like it's time for the end. When Mom was first diagnosed, I mother-henned her and she hated me hovering over her, making sure she took her meds, etc. And I felt so helpless that I over mother-henned her to the point where one day she kicked me out of her home!!!! My step-Dad was elderly and couldn't keep up with her medical stuff, so it became my job to take them to doctor's appointments, treatments, etc. It was exhausting, but I wouldn't change a thing because when she died, she left with her dignity and self-respect in tact. But it was difficult, to put it extremely lightly. My husband was a very understanding man, thank God. It was about a year, where I was not at my own home much. But she did have my step-Dad there, and I knew he would call me when things got bad. It's a tough decision. I can tell from your post, that whatever you do, will be done out of love. And that is the best we can do. Judy in MI

well they really didn't tool around on food. LOL! On foot though, lots of on foot people. LOL

Well it's afternoon now, so won't say Good Morning, though it was a good morning! Got WiFi installed at home now so hubs and I can surf at the same time. But he had to take my lap top in for config as there was a software glitch. Windows Vista, gotta hate it! I am feeling like a new woman today. Still not 100%, but nothing is sitting on my chest making breathing a heck of a lot better. My aches are gone, headache gone, life is good again! Not that it was bad......because there's good to be found even when things are not feeling like it. I read two books this week, I got to be here more than normal, I rested, and now I feel refreshed and ready to get back at it. It's overcast, but 75 degrees! It's so nice. Today, May 22, 2010 is the first day of shorts for me. Yippee! We need to get our pontoon boat out of storage, as it's supposed to be 88 tomorrow! We need to get her cleaned up and ready to go. Can't wait. KW Judy, as we ate breakfast this morning, my husband pointed out the window and asked, "is that the female bird that was aided by the red winged blackbird male?" Yep, I answered. He said "that is a female red winged blackbird, so it was likely her mate." Ok, so maybe the story is not quite what I thought, two species helping each other out, but it still is a good story. I'm also a wildlife nut, and we decided this year, for the first time, to keep the feeders full through the summer. Usually, we stop feeding them when we know the snow is done, and they can forage for themselves. But we are so enjoying identifying the different breeds, and more are showing up, so we will feed them. Besides, it's so pleasant when the windows are open, and all you can hear are the birds everywhere. The one time I was in Key West, I marveled at all the bike riders. And the little mini vehicles (don't know what to call them), where people tooled around, not in big cars but on bikes, on food, and these little vehicles. Maybe they were scooters, it's been a while, and I can't remember. Anyway it was very cool. We went there on a whim. I was in Orlando for a business conference, and the weather was so hot and miserable, and wew decided to bag it in Orlando and head to the keys. It was spectacular. Think I'll get some laundry done, now that I feel well again. Hubs is working outside on projects. We are definitely going out tonight to some place that has an outdoor deck to have a dinner and a drink and enjoy this beautiful weather. Judy.....rest. Sounds like you over did big time! Have a good weekend. Judy in MI

Hi Michelle, Sounds like you are doing ok. Not great, but who would expect that? Grief takes it's own time with each of us, and we are all different. I didn't lose a husband, but lost my sis when I was 29, my Dad when I was 31, and my Mom when I was 40, and all to cancer. So I'm not unfamiliar wit grief. When Mom died, I was lost. Someone told me to give myself time to grieve, and when ready just take baby steps, one little step at a time, and that one day I'd be making big steps. Granted never will stop missing her, but I did get beyond the deep ache of fresh grief along the way. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do. God bless you. Judy in MI

Hi Dave, Went back to read your story, and ours are similar. I didn't have lymph gland involvement, but where the tumor was it encroached too close to the chest wall, so they gave me stage 2 3/4 which is how they termed it, but from all I read here it would have been 2b. I was dx in 2007 as well. I try to not think about how I tested on the PFT. It does not really matter, I do the best I can with the lung capacity I have and am thankful for every day. How awesome you have a 3 sport 11 y/o girl to keep you busy! Judy in MI

Vortex, I agree with ts, even though it is difficult to give you an accurate diagnosis without knowing more. If it is primary lung cancer, than I'm also pretty sure it's stage IV. What that means in basic language is that the cancer has metastasized (spread) beyond the lung, and even beyond the lymph nodes, and is now in the bone, and elsewhere. My Mom was stage IV, and it spread to her bones and brain. They gave her radiation to give her comfort from the seizures that the brain tumor caused. It's likely they are doing that to your Mom's bones for the same reason. When you go home, try to assess how she is doing with pain. If she is in pain, you will see it on her face. Ask Dad what they are giving her for the pain. My Mom was in a lot of pain because of the mets to her bones. The doctor's were reluctant to give her the pain medicine she needed. Since she was stage IV, and given the term "terminal", I was able to call Hospice and get them involved. They went to war with the doctors and got her the pain medication she needed. Pain options: Liquid morphine was a great solution for my Mom. But she needed more. So we got these pain patches, called Duragesic pain patches. These are applied to the body, and deliver pain medication 24 hours a day, and then the morphine was only used for "break through" pain. I don't want to be this direct in an on line forum, but I feel like you are wanting to know what's real, and what can be done. So I'm taking a risk and sharing my experience for what it's worth. When you go home, do give Dad a break. You can use this time to spend with Mom and hear how she's really doing. Best wishes. Judy in MI

Great points ts. And you are so right. This thread has taught me a lot. We certainly want to focus on a cure for the disease, no matter what the cause. It's the disease that needs the funding, not a non-versus ex- or still smoker. Amen! I appreciate your perspective. I went to a seminar on women and lung cancer, and the doctor said that women are much more likely to get lung cancer than men. He said researchers do not know why YET. They suspect the a hormone connection. I love what you did with the walk-a-thon. That was very cool. Judy in MI

Linda, thank you! That is such a great way to respond! I really appreciate that. I will be using that, what wisdom and compassion. Truly, educating one person at a time is great, and doing it the way you did it is so much better! THANK YOU. Judy in MI

Good morning all! It's 4:58AM here. It got to 80 yesterday!!!! It has not been that warm here in 9 months! Something to celebrate and enjoy. On the health front, progressing quite nicely. Still have a horrendous cough, but miles away from where I was 3 days ago. I am feeling human again. You will know when I'm back to "normal" when I no longer start the "Air" messages in the middle of the night. LOL! Yesterday, I witnessed something I never saw before, and was amazed. It may seem like a small thing, but for me, nothing that happens in this life is small. All remarkable things are a cause for celebration, inspiration, and AWE. A beautiful little female bird flew into my window outside my office. I felt so bad, I was there lurking on the web, and heard it and saw her fall to the deck, stunned. I got up to look at her and assess the damage. She was teetering, and her beak was wide open as it seemed to me she was gasping for air. I thought about whether or not she had a nest of little ones, waiting for Mommy to return to feed them. I hoped she would get her wits about her again, and return to the nest. All of a sudden, a much larger bird, of a different species, and a brilliantly colored red winged black bird, flew over to her. He looked the situation over, and then to my surprise and delight, he flew over her, put his talons on her and made a mighty effort to pick her up off the deck. His wings fluttered furiously, as he did what he could to get her back up! I stood there watching this, in complete amazement. He did get her legs under her, and she stood there teetering as he flew off. I continued to watch her, and sure enough, in a few minutes, she shook off the headache and flew off! A true testimony to the spirit for life! Yesterday I forced myself to get out (for the first time in six days) and attend a fundraiser for Gilda's Club. I'm so happy I did. They did a video that I had not seen before about their children's grief program. To my surprise, it was the pilot program, their first ever attempt at working with children with grief, and it was my group that was filmed. As I heard their stories, and testimonies, tears flooded my eyes. I felt so proud of these kids, and the progress they made in their grief journey, and because I was one of the facilitators, felt so emotional about it all. It was a very cool video. It gave me such a sense of peace, knowing that this first group of children were "mine". Love stuff like that. Anyway, today is supposed to be 73, and rainy. That's okay. Makes the flowers grow. Hubby is back home and that is a good thing. We will be making a final decision on a new car this weekend, as my lease is up June 1. I am excited about that too! So have a good day. Celebrate this day as it's the only Friday, May 21, 2010 you will ever get again! Judy in MI

Thanks Mike & TS, Annette & Judy, it is good to know that there are others that feel the same. So many times, we stuff our feelings because quite frankly we do feel guilty about this disease. And yet? We need to give ourselves a break. It's the fastest growing cancer in the world. Why? Certainly smoking contributes. But there are a lot of stories here of folks that didn't smoke. Our world is toxic, and it's taking it's toll. Thanks for your support. For the many other folks that "looked" it's okay. I know this subject is a tough one, and one that many do not want to take on. I'm just stubborn and dumb enough to plow into this issue without reserve because I think we deserve it. Have a great day. Judy in MI

Welcome here Robert, We never like the reasons that someone joins, but we do like that someone joined if you know what I mean. Getting support, developing friendships, it's all part of this journey. Giving support is too. You will see from my bio, I am a 3 year survivor. I wish you the best with the Pfizer trial. You just never know. Remain hopeful. Judy in MI

Hi Keli, Being in this clinical trial, I think you are right! You will be top priority for the doctors. They want to succeed! I think a ten to 15 year prognosis is an area of great hope. Plan on being around for much longer! Judy in MI

Thanks Annette! You made me smile. I'm off the soap box for now! Venting was good. I won't vent again until I get someone talking to me like this again. LOL! I do tend to be a passionate person, sometimes not for good results.

Good morning! I google mapped Crowley, because I'm incessantly curious about where people live. Looks like a nice small town, but not far from the Big City of Fort Worth and Dallas. That's nice. The town I actually live in is Grattan, Mich. But it does not even have a post office, so I get my mail from the next small town to the East, which is Belding. Downtown Grattan is a one road town, with one flashing light. There is the Grattan Store, the Grattan Bar, and not much else. Oh wait! There's the fire station (volunteer) at the other end of the town! A creek runs through the town, and there's this tiny little bridge that goes over the creek. In Michigan, tradition dictates that on Memorial Day, our governor along with about 15000 other people walk from the lower peninsula to the upper peninsula across one of the largest bridges in the world, the Mackinac bridge. It's a big deal every year. In Grattan, they do a bridge walk too! It's hilarious. They have a parade (tiny), and then walk from the graveyard on one end of the town, over the tiny bridge, and then to the community center. Then outside are booths, selling food, and other such festival stuff. It's a big deal for the locals. I find it charming and endearing. I grew up in Grand Rapids, which is the 2nd biggest City in Michigan, with Detroit being #1. Grand Rapids is now about a million people, and has definitely changed over the years. Having said that, it's not a big city at all, but when you talk the locals here, they think it is a really big deal to drive 1/2 hour to the City to shop, or dine. LOL! That's my tidbit for today. Still quite sick, but much better than where I was two days ago! This has been quite the lung experience! I am very thankful that I can see huge improvements. But I talked to a woman at work today, and she was very alarmed at how I sounded. I told her that on a scale of 1 to 10 I was at a 6 which was pretty good considering yesterday morning, I debated going into the ER. Thankful for sure. Judy in MI

I get that KW Judy. And why waste the time on people that don't know? Here's why I'm passionate about it: lung cancer does not get the funding needed to find a cure. Why? The perception that people that get it brought it on themselves. Even though skin cancer, cervical cancer, cancers of the stomach, pancreatic cancer, liver cancer, colon cancer and others can be brought on by poor choices in life, they are not questioned, and the people that get it are thought of as victims. To me this is horribly wrong. Second reason: Doctor's do not support pre-screening for lung cancer. You can get tests galore for all cancer types except for lung cancer. I asked my doctor for a CT scan and he told me I had lost my mind. I had no symptoms, therefore I had no lung cancer. When I explained that five people in my family died from the disease, he still balked at the test. I was forced to do the obligatory X-ray, and when it came back negative, I had to lie to get the CT scan. I told him if that came back negative, I'd pay for the test myself, but I insisted on the test. Three of the five people in my family that got this disease quit smoking 20 years before their diagnosis. Lastly, the pulmonary specialist that I was referred to. I went in, scared and frightened. I'd already been told by Mayo Clinic that it was definitely lung cancer, and I needed to have my upper lobe removed. Pretty traumatic right? This idiot looked at my CT scan, while I was present, and then asked me why I ever smoked. He asked what was wrong with me! I looked him in the eye and said "because I was an addict!" and then told him he was fired! I was furious. So many people in my family died of various types of cancer. The only one that had shame attached to it was lung cancer. Not everyone that smokes gets this. Some of us just have genes that make us vulnerable to it. Not everyone that gets pancreatic cancer drank. Not everyone that got skin cancer, recklessly spent hours in the sun without protection. Not every woman that gets cervical cancer was of loose morals. I could go on and on. We could turn the tables around and say that not everyone that gets lung cancer smoked. Not everyone that gets pancreatic cancer drank recklessly. Not everyone that went out in the sun gets skin cancer. Every case of cervical cancer is NOT because the woman slept around. I am an advocate for taking this stigma and making it go away. It is unacceptable, and none of us should feel shame that we got this disease. Ok, getting off my soap box. Time for me to get some more sleep as it's 3:43 AM here. I hope I have not offended non-smokers that have this disease. If I have, I am sorry. But I reiterate, no one deserves cancer of any type. Period. Judy in MI

So I heard from an old friend today. The last time I saw her was at an Octoberfest outdoor festival near my home. She did not know I had cancer, and when she saw me with this festive hat on, obviously without hair, eyebrows or eyelashes, her eyes got wide. She didn't want to say anything, which kind of bugs me. I'm very open with people, and don't mince words....much! So I told her I had cancer, and she wished me well, and off she went. Today I'm on FB trying to quell the boredom of being forced to be home due to feeling so sick. She pops up in IM, and says Hi. She said she had a friend that was just dx with cancer, and her friend was very frightened. She knows that I'm very involved with Gilda's Club. So she wanted to know if I could recommend resources for her friend. So I asked, "what kind of cancer?". The responses I got was this "She has lung cancer. Poor thing, didn't deserve it. She never smoked." Over the years, I have learned to not react with instant and absolute anger, but my insides did react with a roil, and adrenaline did surge through my veins. I know, I understand that people do not understand, but it still makes my hair stand on end. My response was "well, I don't know if you know that my cancer was lung cancer, and even though I did smoke, I didn't deserve it either." I quickly went on to offer resources like Gilda's Club, and this site, so I didn't feel like I was giving her a virtual smack across the face! So while I made my dinner, I was muttering out loud, with my dog watching, cocking his head back and forth as he listened to my quiet rant (and it was quiet, unlike when I was first diagnosed). I'm like, you know? People get Pancreatic cancer, but do we ask them if they drank? People get skin cancer, but do we ask them about SPF30, and the time they spent in the sun? Women get cervical cancer, but do we ask them what their past sexual encounters were? People get lots of other cancers that are environmentally caused, or as a result of choices they made in life; what they ate, drank, smoked, and many other choices, but we don't ask them about it. Why? Because the stigma that is unique to lung cancer is not there for other cancers. Society thinks it's okay to label lung cancer patients that smoked as people that deserve it, and always point out when someone has been diagnosed that never smoked, and how awful it is. What a terrible sentence that has been imposed. I know you all know here, many of us smoked, many of us never did. But we get this cancer thing! None of us, no matter what type of cancer it is, deserve this diagnosis. I make it a point now to say to folks that ask "I had lung cancer". It is not something to be ashamed of. I need to arm myself with more facts about this disease, so when I get this inevitable question, I can educate the person asking, rather than walking away fuming. Yes, that is what I will do. Judy in MI