Joppette

Maybe a lot of our old friends are now getting their "social media" from FB now. That would explain why this forum is so quiet. Personally, if I'm writing about my journey with lung cancer, FB is not where I would share it. Too many people are "friends" there that I wouldn't want to share details that I would be inclined to share here, knowing that the folks that are here are folks that have been in the battle, or loved someone in the battle. MI Judy

Hey Judy, well obviously my shameless attempt to draw out the lurkers did not work! But we only got 35 lurkers thus far, so I'm afraid this day didn't even draw many of them! As for picture size? Ideally it's 200 pixels height x 300 pixels width with a file size of 48.83 kib. You can "tell" it to re-size it automatically, and sometimes it works. Judy P.S. Giants won. Who cares? The commercials weren't that good either. Madonna singing Like a Virgin sounded silly for a woman her age. As did most of her songs. Ah....another Super Bowl gone by. On to February 6 tomorrow. Judy in MI

I like purple, but only because I look fabulous in it! LOL. When they used to clasify us by color palates like "winter", "summer, etc., I was always a winter with my skin tone and dark hair. Fox, I'm wondering if this kind of color profiling even exists in your young world. I get your idea of raising awareness that lung cancer kills, but all do, so I think replacing the skull with the word HOPE would be a nice touch. I like your creativity! MI Judy

After reading this, I have to say that sometimes it's just a trip to be inside of my own head.

If there is anyone out there lurking, what I'd like to know is who watches for the football game, and who watches for the entertainment value of the commercials? And then who watches for the 1/2 time show? I put the 1/2 time show in a category of itself because it's been known to be controversial in the past. Who can forget the Janet Jackson fashion faux paux a few years ago. I don't know why everyone freaked out, I mean come on, it was a boob! We all know what those look like. The 1/2 time show this year is by 53 year old Madonna. Seeing the previews, it's amazing how she looks. I am positive she has not had "work" done. That is 100% 53 year old buffness. LOL. I guess who cares right? If I had nothing more to do than spend my millions on making my older body and face pretend it's young for a couple of more years, than maybe I would? Nah....probably not. My priorities are likely to always be different from hers. So, my vote? ALWAYS the commercials. I do enjoy football, but college ball is what I like. Seeing a bunch of multi-millionaires out on the field crashing into each other, being bad sports by hitting too hard, or grabbing that facemask with malice, is just silly. I say that to hopefully provoke some football fans into posting here. LOL. The commercials intrigue me. They pay gobs and gobs of millions of dollars for 3 minutes in the commercial line up. I find that fascinating. In another life, maybe I would have gone into marketing. K, enough of that. I went to church today! First time in six weeks. That was nice. Afterward, we went to the grocery store. Because of my current state of health, I did not feel a bit of guilt using the little go-cart things. First they are fun. Though they could amp up the speed a bit. Second, I was able to shop for an hour without dragging myself around the store. The challenge with them is that the adults are not training their eyes at that height level, so it's always the cart driver's challenge to not hit anyone as they walk in front of you. I always wonder how people's children even survive trips to the store! I love the ones that don't want to be slowed down by the cart driver and attempt to cut me off to get ahead. That's so nice, especially on Sunday. I must admit to a secret shiver of pleasure when I occasionally beat them to the narrow part of the aisle and get ahead. LOL. Not that any of it matters. Have a good rest of the day. MI Judy

I'm back! I've had more time to read. Your writing style is great. You express yourself so well. I understand how you feel and confess to feeling a lot of the same feelings. Came to wish you a good night's sleep. For me, it's usually two hour stints with pain meds in between. It's okay for now. Judy in mI

Well, Judy, I'll at least show up for a minute. I'm looking forward to hearing about your lunch with Tom and Tee. Right now I'm living vicariously through those that post and are getting out and doing stuff. I finally fashioned a little desk at my chaise lounge in the living room, so I have a place for my computer, endless glasses of water, and a big box of pills! Oh and a nice stack of books that I'm tackling a page at a time. It's sunny and pretty today. A lot of the guys came over to fish this morning. Remember i posted last night that I worried about this? No need to. They began to walk on the ice and found that they were wading rather than walking. Phew! Now he is inside hanging pictures that came off when he and his buddy fixed dings in the walls and painted. He's about to feed me breakfast, and even debating if I might be able to get out for maybe a quick dinner out tonight. I think I might be up for a short stint out if I can get in a good nap this afternoon! We shall see. Have a beautiful day. Judy in MI

Great story. We all are terminally ill in that we are going to die. So how do we live now? That's the true story and where inspiration is born. Judy in MI

Welcome here. Your blog is a good one! I like Ginny, am working hard to increase awareness of this disease that does not discriminate in age, sex, or health history. The stigma about smoking has to go. No one deserves any kind of cancer, period. Judy in MI

It's evening here, Janet, nice to see you here! Thanks for following my care page posts. I appreciate that. It sure has been a long haul. One that I'm afraid is getting tiresome so am not going to post much about it. It's life right? We take it and live it the best we can. I hope your letter gets you some pain relief and back to living more fully. I do enjoy when folks come here to post. It's fun to just see updates and see how folks are. Bud, I saw the big storms coming. It looks like things are gong to get crazy for a while. 542 miles is fantastic! Congrats! It seems very warm even for you in Texas! It was in the 50's here this week. Very strange weather. Good to see you back at the fishing, and seeing the drought is getting better. My b-i-l in San Antonio says it's crazy how low the waters are. My husband has buddies coming over for the first ice fishing of the season. How bizarre is that? It's been sunny and warm, so of course I'm worried for them. They claim there is 4 inches of ice out there, but that seems like not that much to me. He's going with buddies, so hopefully they will bring life jackets just in case. My weekend is one more of rest, rest, rest. Seems like the recovery is taking a long time, but it is what it is, so I'll just keep sleeping and hope one day to be kissed by a prince and wake up again. Judy in MI

Hi Judy, I'll be willing to bet both of your hats are adorable. You look so cute in them! Your lunch sounds like it was so good too. HAPPY BIRTHDAY even though it's so late now. I got through today with only one morphine pill. I was really hurting tonight and checked my log to see I went all day without. No wonder I got a little more accomplished than napping. Got the bills paid. That's good. I taught Randy how to pay them while I was in the hospital, and thought he was doing it. Good thing I caught it on Feb. 2 rather than later in the month. Also a good thing I got out when I did before they took something from us like a car or house. J/K. At least not this month. Don't know if I mentioned this or not. Was supposed to meet with the out-patient team for chemo recommendations on Tuesday. I convinced them to move it back to 2/21. Told them I needed to have my pain under better control before taking on the next steps. Glad that I did. So where is everyone these days? Judy in MI

Hi there, I think Ry has offered two good suggestions! Put a little something in front of her, she may surprise herself and munch without even realizing it. The option of a feeding tube is also viable. I am certain (without being an expert) that depression is an issue. A lot of folks in her condition do get an anti-depression medication that really helps them get "outside of themselves" to see the bigger picture. I was about your age when my Mom started getting really sick. She died when I was 40. While I don't have good advice here, I just want you to not feel alone. I understand. It's such a helpless feeling. Take care, Judy in MI

Steph, I loved the irony in which you and your brother shared a laugh. So true. Judy in MI

Judy, I had to laugh about the palm leaves and shrimps or crawfish! I am sure I am mixing this up with New Orleans! LOL. But I hope you four have a lovely lunch at Antonia's. I'm sure the weather there is gorgeous! Probably nothing below 70 degrees, and I'm quite sure no white stuff we call snow! We actually have a day that is supposed to be 52 here! In Michigan we will wear shorts and T-shirts and sandals with socks on. I remember being in Florida once, and it was cool out so we had our sandals on with socks. Someone came up to us and asked if we were from Michigan. We said yes and wondered why they asked. They said Michigan people are famous for wearing sandals in all kinds of weather and just putting socks on with them. That totally cracked me up because it's true! The woman staying with me today is a fabulous cook. She is famous for her desserts and brought me a piece of her famous chocolate and bananna graham cracker crusted cheese cake. I'm sure it will be heaven to eat. In addition, she has a big pot of chicken stew on the cook top. How nice! I'm about sacked out. Have been up since 7:00 and the eyes are drooping. Think I'll lay down now and have my lunch at around 3:00. What a blessing to have women from my church coming by each day to take care of me and cook for me! I've lost about 20 pounds since January 4, so everyone wants to fatten me up! Shucks! I guess I'll just have to put up with it. Darn! Judy in MI

Well, I'm glad you finally put the plans with Tom and Tee on the AIR! I'm a nosy little thing and was feeling left out. I'm so feeling (hate the word jealous) so I'll use "craving" for good Key West Fare. I can't remember the place we ate at, but it was outdoors, with the big palms like Judy said. I think they had live shrimps or crawfishes or something like that crawling on the bar. That's about all I remember. LOL. The cocktails were good too! ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Or maybe that was New Orleans. Oh my gosh! Silly me. I do remember we went to this out door bar and the entertainment was an irish man singing these irish ditty's with lots of funny lyrics. He had a heavy brogue, and brought the audience into his songs. It was great fun. And then there were the drinks....................LOL If my somewhat dim memory serves me right, I was about ten years younger than now, and life hadn't hit me with serious stuff like cancer, so we were living quite carefree. We stayed at the hotel at the very farthest Western tip of Key West, out on the point. It was lovely. So was the young man, who took us there after hours of eating and drinking, on his rick shaw type bike. Well now I'm just sounding absolutely full of it, aren't i? Ah memories. Keep in mind that this was in January/February, after leaving a particularly nasty, blustery and bitter cold winter in Michigan. The tropical, balmy breezes alone could make us tipsy with joy at the warm weather. Have fun you guys! Judy in MI

While it's late to open the windows, I'll do it anyway. It is 36 here with a sprinkling of light snow. It's beautiful with the ground covered in a white powder that makes me think of the powdered sugar that covers my favorite donuts. Tomorrow is supposed to be 45! In Michigan, that's almost warm enough to open the windows for sure for a short burst of warm air. LOL. Today was a good day. My best friend came over, and took good care of me. She looked at my list of meds, and set them out for the day. She made sure I took the ones I don't like to take because they make me sleepy. But as a result, I slept for 4 hours this morning, which is what is supposed to happen. Later she got me up and heated up some left over Lasagna, and spooned up some fresh fruit. Both tasted so good. She took the ornaments off the tree (can you believe it's still up on January 30???? All that is left for R is to take the branche down and tuck them into the storage box and fold them away for next year. there are a few strings of lights to be tucked away too. I have a pile of bill type paperwork to go through, and a pile of cards to write thank you notes to folks. And my friend figured out why my wireless card was not working! It is so nice to have someone step in and fix the prolem. Yeah. It's time for me to lay my head down for a nap, and that is it. Thank you God for this blessing. Judy in MI

Eric, This report is such good news. I follow you on Facebook, and am always glad to see you post here. Sounds like you are doing well. That makes me so happy! Back to work? That's fantastic! If you find a few to throw in the kitty, that is fabulous too! I so remember when you first came here. Glad this place helped you then. And now your positive results can help others. God is good Eric. Judy in MI

Steph, you have always touched my heart. I think you know that from when we met in May last year. "I think it's time to start my current day's routine" was your comment today. Yea. I understand. The things we used to think were normal, are not anylonger, but they are what we do today. I started my current day's routine this morning too, but my "routine" is not "normal" anymore. I don't even know where I'm going with this, so I'll just let it go at that. Love and prayers go out to you. MI Judy

Thanks Ginny, Yes, a girlfriend will take me to church tomorrow while R is on the Radio show. We'll be okay. Thanks for checking on me. Judy in MI

Haven't been around today to see that the Air was not opened today. So even though it's late, I'll post. I've been home since 2:00 yesterday. I slept most of today, which is a blessing for me. I'm up now for about an hour and then back to bed. Oral medication of morphine has been huge in allowing me to just sleep and heal. Slept on my tummy for the first time in a month. Can't even believe how amazing it felt to do that! So grateful for that. Will write more later. Hope all is well with everyone. MI Judy

Good morning Judy. I agree with you. I miss Alan. I miss Bruce. Steph too. Becky. Oh gosh, as I think of all of them, there are so many that I've missed. We had quite a good run of busy posts but they have gotten quiet. It's okay. They have their lives outside of this, and are hopefully healthy and busy. I pray that for them. But I still miss them. I have some fantastic news today. The new pain doctor visited with me yesterday and suggested a radically different approach to my pain. If I agreed, he would be taking me off seven medications that I'm currently on! What a leap of faith. But i did it. I am so desperate to get out of this spiral of agonizing pain, that I'll try anything. So last night was not comfortable because so many drugs were discontinued, but I didn't panic. Something in my gut said to just be calm and see it through. Am I glad I did! I am still in a great amount of pain, but it is different. I don't know how to describe it. My spirits are high, and I am not so achy and exhausted. We know this road is a long one, but one that I feel is headed in the right direction. Praise God! I haven't felt this hopeful or good since January 4. I can't believe it's Friday, January 27. Big memory of 2012 is the month that I lost. I hope to replace that memory with bigger and better memories as time goes by. Today is the day I leave I hope. No one has been in to see me and it's 8:40. I'm taking that as a good sign. I took my bath, and am waiting for R to come with jeans and a big soft sweatshirt and a ball cap. Some regular shoes will be a nice change from socks with rubber thingys on them. Oh my what a feeling. When I get home, my babies are going to be wiggling their little butts off to see me. I will have to be careful, but can't wait to bury my face in their fur and hug and love on them. Gosh how I've missed them. I'm just going to revel in these happy feelings this morning and not think one day further ahead. I feel great joy and I am keeping that! For those of you that patiently read as I complained and cried, thank you. What a tough trial this has been. Love, Judy in MI

Hi there, Not much activity here! But I came on to pipe in. Becky your news, I didn't see it. I guess I'll go to FB to see what is up. No matter what congrats! Day 23 in the hospital. I met with a pain doctor today who scrapped the six medications that the other doctors prescribed. He said he can get me pain free in a few days with a few less medications and a simple plan. We reviewed it and liked it. He even said he could make my bad foot pain free! Wow! That is fantastic. We'l give him a shot. Why not? Anyway, I'm tired. Had big expectations today of going home and then the big let down. Now big changes in medications, and the assurance that we will be going home by 11:00 tomorrow. Yeah! Judy in MI

Once you have whole brain radiation, it can not be done again. The radiation fries any tumors, but also brain cells. It just is not going to be an option for her. I hope cancergrace gives you some options. If the final call is that there are no further treatments that will work, then just love your friend. Go for long walks outdoors, visit the beach, take her to places she's never seen before. Be present with her and let her talk about how she feels about all of this. God Bless you. I hope you find answers for you and your friend. Judy in MI

Hi fraves, This all sounds hopeful, and am glad they found the reason for the pain in the arm. i was going to suggest that it was the cancer spreading because a friend of mine has the same cancer as your Dad. His spread to his arm too. He had radiation therapy to the spot and it did help. As for smoking? That's a tough one. My brother-in-law was a heavy smoker, and he never quit, even after getting the stage iV news. He smoked until he died. He battled the disease for a year. Quitting smoking is so difficult. Many people believe that it relieves stress, which is probably why he started up again. Reality is that it increases blood pressure, and anxiety. But no one can tell him to quit. Arguing with him won't help (not saying you are). It's a personal decision and one he has to make. You can love him no matter what, and that is a good thing. Judy in MI

Ah Nick, I know. It's sad when a thing that we knew for ever goes away because it's something we no longer use because our Mom died. I get it. Hang on to the good stuff, those memories will never die. (((HUG))) Judy in MI