barbara w

First let me say how sorry I am for the loss of your father. My dad passed away just seven weeks ago, and in some sense it still seems unreal. I also was my dad's caregiver and was with him when he died. He passed away on a Wednesday after a day and a half of a coma. Monday was his last good day. He was up and talking, eating and seeming himself. He talked a lot that day and other days about a man that was building a house for his wife and child. He kept asking if we could see him( We think it might have been his dad - was a house builder in Ireland.) Tuesday morning was the beginning of the end - the most we got from him were some "I love you." My mother swears that she heard him say the name "Ned" that morning. Ned was his younger brother who died 20 years ago. After 9 a.m. Tuesday he really said nothing else and late Tuesday night was definately in a coma. Wednesday brought more of the same. We were all with him - my mother, sister, his sons-in-law, and his sisters. We talked to him privately and as a whole. We said the rosary around his bed at about 3:30 and at 3:40 he was gone. Now my dad's eyes hadn't opened since Tuesday morning, but with that last breath he opened is eyes - looked first at me on his right side the looked to my mother and sister on his left, and then straight ahead ( where no one stood) after that last exhale. So many people there noticed the recognition in his eyes. He knew I was there, with my mom and sister, and I feel that he saw someone at the foot of his bed. I pray every night that his brother came for him - it's the only comfort I have.

My dad passed away peacefully at home on January 12 surrounded by his family. He had been on the Iressa for three weeks when his confusion and weakness seemed to get much worse. When his visiting nurse heard some fluid in his lungs, she recommended hospice on the Friday prior. We did one course of antibiotics while under hospice and he seemed to improve. Monday was his best day in a long time - he ate three meals, had a good energy level, was much clearer in his thoughts, and had little pain. He didn't even want to go to bed on Monday night. Tuesday morning he was hardly responding - no food or water intake, couldn't swallow his meds, or stand alone. We started morphine and got him a hospital bed and by Wednesday afternoon he was gone. I can't believe that it has taken me this long to post this. I have been on this site a few times, reading other's updates, but I just couldn't bring myself to post. It's almost as if I couldn't type the words. My heart is empty yet I'm not sure if it has really hit me yet. My days seem so long and foreign without him. We had spend so much time together this past year with drs. appointments, etc. We lived on the same street, so he would help me care for my twins, now 18 months, when they were very young and before he was diagnosed ( when life was normal). I've been robbed of my dad and one of my best friends. I'm rambling now, so I'll end this. I will continue checking in on the many of you who offered me so much support and help these last 11 months, and my prayers are with you and with the search for a cure to this damned disease.

Prayers are going your way.

I along with all of these wonderful people here am pulling for you. Know that you are in so many thoughts and prayers. Keep your spirits and your fight up.

My dad had WBR at the same time, and he's not showing any signs of growth yet. His rad onc told him three months from the loss until he sees some growth.

We need to hear good news! Thanks for sharing - now go and enjoy this holiday season.

I was just thinking of her the other day - I'll be praying for her.

I am so sorry for your loss of your mother. My condolences to you and your family. barbara

I feel as if the floor has caved in. My dad began Iressa on Tuesday, and we were pinning so many hopes on it. I just can't believe this. Where will we go from here?

You can always begin treatment with the chemo, and seek a second opinion if you're still not sure that surgery might not be the better route. These are such hard decisions - I'll be thinking of you.

I love that you said he's coming home to live the rest of his life - you're so right. Make as many happy memories as you can together over these holidays. Barbara

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much strength you must gather from the close relationship you had with your dad. My prayers are with you, your dad, and your family. Barbara

Lisa and Tariq, Please accept my condolences on your loss. Hold on to each other and know that so many people here have you in their thoughts and prayers. Barbara

Thanks everyone for your responses and care - we're going for a dr. visit today, so we'll see what happens. Over the weekend he's been acting really strange - almost like a form of dementia- which I medication related. He's still as strong as a bull, just really dopey. I'll let you know how it all works out. Thanks again.

Sending prayers that Tarceva does the trick! All the info I've read on it sound promising. Best wishes.

Hi everyone - I haven't posted or been online in so long, but it already feels comforting to be in the company of people who know what I'm going through. I've updated my profile so you can see how crazy the past few months have been for my dad and us. My sister also got married in October - thankfully my dad was with us to enjoy the day and dance away - which just added to the frenzy. Anyhow, my dad has had a rough road. It seens that after his trial of Velcade each successive chemo was never completed, thereby failing. Since his WBR is finished, I assumed the onc would suggest another chemo or possibly tarceva - but she's not. She mentioned hospice which sort of surprised me since I thought ' why did we put him through brain surgery and WBR for this?' His recent brain MRI has revealed a small lesion at the site of the resected brain tumor. His liver function is fine, pain level is managable, and he wants to continue treatment. His mental status is definately altered since the surgery, and moreso since the radiation. He's not as active as he once was - who would be? - but he is still getting up, appetite is improving, cares for his appearance, etc? He's just getting over a tough reaction to the compazine he was taking - it was making his super anxious. While his onc thinks it might be time for hospice to make it easier on us, his palliative care dr. doesn't think it is time - nor do we. I guess my question is ' what do you think? when do you know you've done enough? Or does anyone have any suggestions of where to go from here. Is there any hope in trying a new treatment - his onc doesn't feel so, but I think we just haven't hit it right yet - each treatment after the carbo/gemzar and then the trial was interrupted. Help! Thnaks in advance. Barbara

I have nothing to add to the information presented by so many, but I wanted you to know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. Keep up your spirits - so many people are praying for you.

My dad is going in tomorrow for the results of his ct scans from Wednesday. He'll be finding out how this Velcade trial is going. He also had an MRI two weeks ago - he had a little pain in his back (gone now) and his onc ordered the MRI. We've heard nothing about that, we haven't seen her since. My question is - does your doctor call you with results, good or bad, or do they wait until your in the office. Part of me is worried that she's waiting to sit us down. The other part thinks 'no news is good news.' This is going to be such a longgg night! Wish us luck.

Congratulations on the great news! What a great send off for your vacation.

Yes, both my parents hail from the Connemara region of Galway. They came here in the 60s. They always say they wish they had taught us more of it (my sister and I can understand the spoken word and can get by verbally) but now with my kids they're trying harder to speak it to them. Are you from Ireland? If not, how did you become so fluent? It's a rare language to hear, much less see in print.

I know what it's like to have a weight conscious father. I see my dad weigh himself every day, sometimes more than once a day. He had a tough time after the biopsy and did drop about 12 pounds, but has since regained that and more totaling a 17 pound gain since treatment began. He really dislikes the taste of the Ensure and Boost, so my mom did frappes with Carnation Instant Breakfast. He also started walking more which increased his appetite. Despite this gain, some people still see him and say, "He's lost so much weight." It really discourages him because he hasn't and he looks so healthy. I think people sometimes unknowingly associate cancer with weight loss. When my dad did lose the weight it was much more obvious in his looser pants. My mom went out and bought him some in a smaller size, and I think it made a difference for him mentally - they didn't seem so large. Even men need shopping sprees!

Thank you all for your input. I too will try to update as I find out more. Bean si, I love the Irish quotes. My parents are both fluent in Gaelic, so it's nice to see the language out there. Barbara

First off let me say that I'm sorry you're in this position. My dad, 71, was diagnosed with lc in Feb. He now has two liver mets for which I'm told there is no treatment. A lot of people suggested RFA, but my dad's onc said that is normally used for people who cannot have radiation for one reason or another (i.e. a former breast cancer patient treated with radiation who develops lung cancer.) I don't have a lot of answers on the brain radiation, but I'm sure others here will be able to help you. Iwould suggest doing just what you're doing - watch his appetite and try to build up his strength reserves and continuing showing him your love. Never give up hope!

I'm fairly new to this board, but I've always noticed your evidently happy avatar with your love. Prayers and hope going your way.

I'm a little confused and scared after researching on the web on the type of NSCLC my dad has. A lot of what I found stated that large cell does not respond as well to chemotherapy as the other types, squamous, etc. Does anyone have any information on this? Or is there anyone out there with large cell that could tell me about their experiences with large cell? Thanks in advance - you guys always set my mind at ease.