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All I can say at this point is OY VEH! Waiting to hear -- nothing yet from chest xray; echo-cardiagram set for next Monday (now, that's a wait...) and they haven't contacted us yet for the CT scan appt... So am doing as you advise, keeping notes, keeping fingers crossed and hoping all this is just a temporary blip and will be gone tomorrow.... Ellen

Thanks, everyone. I'm hoping for a virus but, of course, pessimist that I am, fearing the worst. I will mention the blood culture to the doctor, Ry, although I certainly hope that it's not that.... We're waiting for the xray results and for the other tests to be scheduled. And if all else fails, I will ask to see an infectious disease specialist. I know our gp and I'm sure that's in the back of her mind as well. No false pride for that lady, thank heavens. And maybe it'll just go away.......?????!!!! Ellen

Len has been "ailing" for the past few weeks with little to explain any of it. He "collapsed" at a picnic on 2 July after a mini bout the day before with diarhhea -- went wobbly and couldn't get back on his feet. I took him to the local clinic where he had the requisite blood tests and examinations, then put on intravenous fluids -- diagnosis: dehydratration after diarhhea and the heat of the day, etc.,etc. The following week he was still feeling sort of lousy and we had to go see our gp anyway to let her know about this. At that visit, we discovered that he was running a low grade temp. She sent him for more blood tests, thought maybe Lyme disease or a similar tick/paraside borne illness. The tests (except for one which is still to return) all proved negative. But right after that doctor visit, he began regular bouts of fever/chills/fever/chills. The fevers weren't bad -- 99 to 100.5 or so, but enough to make him feel wretched. Wakes up two or three times a night, drenched; then starts shivering like mad. So we went back to the doctor who decided maybe it was ehrlichiosis (the one test that hadn't come back) and started him on an antibiotic. Three days later, Friday night, after the doctor's office had closed for the weekend, of course, his temperature went up to 102.8. I called the doctor and got the covering physician who switched antibiotics and said if it got worse over the weekend to call in and go for a lung xray to rule out pneumonia (although his lungs SOUND clear and his blood count is good). It didn't get worse but it didn't get better either. So today, back to the doctor, and then off to the clinic for xray; also being sent for CT scan of abdominal region to rule our abscess/tumour; AND echocardiogram to rule out heart infections. We'll know tomorrow about the chest xray and eventually, when we get scheduled for the others, about the other possibilities. But it's so strange. He really is asymptomatic, except for chills and fever and feeling punk because of it. ANyone else have anything like this???? Ellen

Hi, fellow Connecticut-er. My husband, Len, was diagnosed with IIIA NSCLC in April of 2004; had surgery that month, began chemo in June and then had radiation in the fall because he had one positive lymph node in the mediastinum. He's doing really well now; recovery from surgery took a bit, the chemo went fairly smoothly thanks to all the counter-side-effect meds they gave him, and the radiation, to ensure there were no other miniscule nodes lurking inside there, went pretty quickly, though it did take its toll in exhaustion at the end. Clearly all worth it. He's been NED ever since although we still have bad moments right before the 3 month checkup/tests/scans. I second the advice to get some anxiety medication. He was having panic attacks at night and the xanax took care of that as soon as he began taking it. He's still taking one each night at bedtime but is talking about stopping that -- we'll see. As everyone else has said, it's one day at a time but you can do it! Keeping a record of everything that happens, every question that occurs to you and every possible answer you run across is invaluable. I still ask questions here on this forum when I need to and have taken many of the answers and suggestions that I've gotten with me to the oncologist. Thinking of you as you begin this voyage -- you WILL prevail! Ellen

Congratulations...the three best letters in the alphabet! How very disciplined you must be not to worry about the scan until after your return. I envy your that! Ellen

Len was also staged at IIIA with a small tumour in his upper right lobe and one node in the mediastinum (which they didn't discover until surgery and subsequent biopsy). They obviously removed that one, along with others that turned out not to be cancerous. After surgery, he had chemo, then after chemo radiation -- but largely targetted at the mediastinum. And so far, so good....he's doing well and, touch wood, two years after surgery, no signs of recurrence. By all means ask all those questions. We asked as many as we could think of and this forum helped us enormously to think of things that might not have occurred to us otherwise. Ellen

Good to hear from you and to know things are, for the most part, going well. THe wedding sounds great and as for moving to the Keys, WOW! Sorry about your neighbour -- but it's the same old Shelleymac, doing things for others. If it's only moral support, I'm sure it's still truly appreciated. You know only too well how much support people need. Ellen

Such great,great news!!! Lucie is truly an inspiration to us all...as are you, Don. So glad to hear that you're doing well as well. Wish we could get down to the big bash...have a great time! Ellen

My thoughts are truly with Teri and her family -- thank you, Don, for keeping this sad vigil for us. Ellen

Here's to Cindi....I'll drink to that! Ok, I know, I know, I'll drink to almost anything but Cindi -- well, that toast is just a special one. I'll hoist one for her anytime. So here's to her 4000, and then another 4000, and then another 4000, and then....well, you know. Cheers, Ellen

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY &&&& Many, many returns! Ellen

Thinking of you at this trying time. I hope that they can get to the core of this quickly and give her the treatment she needs to recover and get back to the main job of fighting the wretched cancer. Will be sending major vibes over the airways to you and her and all of yours, \ Ellen

MANY MANY MANY HAPPY RETURNS!!!! Ellen

Oh, Andrea...sorry to hear it. But there will be other opportunities. Don't give up!!! Ellen

Rob, will be thinking of you and your mother -- hope that the pain is under control and the alimta does its stuff and gives her that extra time without any more dire side effects. Ellen

Had a great, great weekend. Caleb did us proud -- conducted the whole service beautifully, had his torah portion down cold, chanted wonderfully and gave a stimulating and provocative "d'var torah" (sort of commentary or interpretation based on his torah portion). We were all in tears for most of the service...but happy, happy tears! The reception was great fun -- we catered it ourselves at a rustic lodge (three huge fireplaces inside --needed on a coolish Massachusetts May day -- hiking trails,volleyball court and playing fields outside for the young fry, lots of food, drink and music inside for everyone) nestled in the Berkshire mountains surrounded by woods and overlooking a beautiful lake. The rabbi proved a dab hand at carving up three turkeys and family and friends all pitched in to make it a truly festive occasion. Not quite what most people expect at a bar mitzvah but perfect for us. We did have one uninvited guest -- a black bear and her cub arrived to claim possession of the dumpster at the top of the driveway. She obviously knew where to go! We got the kids inside for a while, then they ventured out again, thrilled by the wandering predator. Fortunately, we didn't lose anyone! Ellen

I also received The Friday Reply -- at least, for an obviously canned response, it does talk about contacting corporate levels. I hope that, at least, we're stirring up the waters a bit. Lots of interesting options to consider coming up here -- no time for me to think about it -- have to get dressed and ready for my grandson's bar mitzvah! Ellen

Hi everyone, Just wanted everyone to know that we're off to Massachusetts this weekend (the Berkshires) to celebrate our oldest grandson's bar mitzvah, something Len was sure he would never live to see. Not only is he living to see it, but he'll be up on the bimah (the elevated section at the front of the synagogue) with me presenting Caleb with his tallit (prayer shawl) which he gets to wear since now he's a man! And we're doing a blessing together during torah section that Caleb is chanting. Pretty good for a man who was sure he would never see his next birthday. So think of us Saturday morning, while we're up there participating, and then Saturday afternoon while we're celebrating afterwards (a do-it-yourself affair that we've done all the cooking for at a beautiful lodge with three fireplaces and a wonderful view of the surrounding mountains). Cindy, I wish you were there to serve things up at the bar! We'll raise a glass to all our friends at LCSC. Wish you could all be with us. If any of you ARE in driving distance of Pittsfield MA, pm me and I'll give you directions! Ellen

Here's mine: [Like so many other women who love Coldwater Creek clothing, I am delighted that you are actively sponsoring cancer research, and I certainly commend you for this. But I am also aware, as I am sure you are as well, that the leading cause of cancer deaths in women is not breast cancer, but lung cancer. It is only in the past few months that many otherwise well-informed people have even become dimly aware of this fact, and that is largely due to the widely publicized, and so untimely, death of Dana Reeve. As I know you know, lung cancer accounts for more deaths each year than breast cancer, prostate cancer and colon cancer combined. Yet lung cancer research is horrendously underfunded, with the unfortunate result that there are virtually no tests that can detect it at an early stage and precious few treatments when it is detected, usually at too late a stage to be effectively combatted. An infusion of money AND public awareness would go a long way to remedying this situation and fueling the public will to fund research that would result in both new tests and treatments. Such wonders have been done for breast, prostate and colon cancer. We need to find people and corporations and organizations that will have the vision to take up the gauntlet in the fight against this most deadly of cancers, a threat to far more women than the other cancers. It is my hope that yours will be just such a corporation and that you will take a lead in the fight against lung cancer, as you have in that against breast cancer. Respectfully, Ellen Nodelman ] We'll see.... Ellen

So glad to hear that the pain is getting taken care of...thanks Don and Lucie! Teri, you are in my thoughts and what passes for prayers. Ellen

Dear Cindy, Wishing you and your family, and especially your dad, peace and comfort at this time. I hope that hospice can bring his pain under control and that he will have some peace and contentment in however much time he has left. And strength to you, Cindy, as you help him in these final days. Ellen

Happy Anniversary....and many more to come. Meet you guys at the pub...make mine "Champers" (fit for anniversary celebrations) Ellen

Would you believe it -- I've never seen STEEL MAGNOLIAS. It's on my list now -- next time I go to the library, I look for the dvd (yes, I'm cheap...) And, boy, does anger NEED TO BE EXPRESSED -- Thanks, Cindi! Ellen

Ginny, and everyone.... It is SO hard to believe that things like this happen, that seemingly caring physicians can, as it were, turn on a dime and withdraw in such a callous way. And while it does help to remember that doctors, too, are just human and probably have understandable difficulty dealing with their failure to prevent the "inevitable", it is still a necessary part of the job and something that they should be ready to tackle in a humane way. The Hippocratic "Do No Harm" surely should apply to the emotional impact of the doctor's relationship with the terminally ill patient. I'm glad that medical schools are dealing with this now. I find it hard to imagine that our own wonderful oncologist would react like this, but I guess I shouldn't take anything for granted. I think this is something patients, or caretakers, should broach to their doctors well before it becomes necessary. I've often wondered how oncologists deal with the constant loss of patients and thought it takes a special sort of person to handle that reality. But perhaps some of them just jettison the reality at the end...which makes the rest of them, who stick it through with their dying patients, even MORE special. I wonder what others' experiences have been.... Ellen

Add my welcome to all those above, Deanne. This board was such an important instrument for me to help my husband through the diagnosis/decision-making/treatment process and then the amazingly empty-feeling time following treatment while you wait to see if it is working.... I second the advice to get an expanded diary where you can keep track of everything -- not all appointments but observations on reactions, questions, medications...just about anything and everything. If you don't write it all down, it'll all blur and get lost. I was (and still am) always there for every appointment. Since your husband found us, he's probably more "proactive" than mine was. I found I had to take the lead in asking the questions, giving my observations on his reactions and/or progress, even calling the doctor when something didn't seem right. But even if you don't have to do as much of that, you'll find that this fight is very much a partnership. It really highlights what marriage is all about. So welcome to the caregiver's club. Ellen