Guest TeeTee Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 My mom is 64. On Memorial day she lost her dear partner of 15 years to lung cancer-well actually complication of LC-actually died of an infection. One of his children told me about this site (thanks Mo). With that, she also found out she had carcinoma in situ which was going to be removed. While they were doing the pre op testing, they found "a mass" in her lung. This added to the stress of losing hr partner, being evacuated twice from hurricanes in FLA, and now being moved to my house up north for treatment-this has taken quite a toll on her. I have 3 kids (little ones) but am really the best equipped to handle this because I am home and can take her to appts, etc. Did I mention that she just quit smoking 4 weeks ago? She is just overwhelmed at this point (me too). She has had everytest under the sun (including a needle biopsy in FLA where they collapsed her lung and missed the mass entirely!). We meet with the oncologist on tuesday to go over the results of her mediastenoscopy (sp?)-wre think it will be 3a. She is not eating well and is lately confused. I know she is overwhelmed and depressed-who woulnd't be? I have urged her to let me find her a group she can go to to talk about things but she is resistant. mY bigger concern is that she has not yest started treatment and is already feeling very very tired and nauseous. Her oncologist is wonderful and we will talk about this on tuesday but since so many of you have already started this journey-I would love to hear from any of you as to how to help my mother. PS-she is distressed about how she is feeling and very much wants to bsttle this cancer-just not sure how to help her. TeeTee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 I am sorry about your mom. She has barely had time to grieve over losing her partner and now she is thrust into her own battle. It must be so hard for her. Her confusion may be due to dehydration. Make sure you are pushing fluids and try to get her to eat something. Hopefully on Tueday she will get some good news and a plan for dealing with her cancer. Let us know how it goes. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Welcome, TeeTee. Glad you have joined our group. Be sure your mom eats enough and drinks enough, especially when she is under treatment. And if she can get exercise, like walking, that is good. Focus on the positive and try to get her interested in some activity she likes. That will help her take breaks from all the cancer and treatment stuff. Good luck, and let us know how we may support you. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Welcome Tee Tee.You will find lots of people here who know a lot and care alot.Sorry your mom has to deak with this so soon after losing her partner to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barbara5452 Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Hi Tee Tee, I too am a newcomer and have found this site very helpful, you and your Mom can benefit. I was dia this past Sept and had part of my lung removed, with it not being that long ago I can feel what your mom is feeling right now. Tell her to walk walk walk, this reduces the stress and allows you to think more clearly. before my surgery I was walking 3 miles a day just to clear my mind and think of what lied ahead. I believe it also helped alot in my recovery after the surgery. Tell her when she prays to pray for peace of mind and it will come. She is very lucky to have you, I too take care of my mom who is now with Hospice so it was kinda a double whammy for me. It only makes us stronger. This is my mothers second time with Hospice she is a figther and so Im I, she was given 3 weeks over 5 years ago and is still with us. Take care and visit often. ___________________ Diagn. Sept 2004 NSCLC upper lobe removed 9-27-04 no further treatment had not gone to lymph system Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna G Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Welcome Tee Tee. This is a very hard disease. Hope we can be of help. There are great people here. Donna G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather M. Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 TeeTee- My mom was also recently diagnosed with lung cancer and I am taking care of her along with my three small children. I am new to all of this and can't offer the best advice right now, but I am here if you need to talk. My mother quit smoking 2 months ago (after diagnosis) and every day is still a struggle. Her appetite comes and goes and we have found that the medication megace works pretty good. I just listen a lot, hold her when she cries, and keep reassuring her that things are going to be okay. Once your mom starts treatment she will probably feel better. My mom did almost immediately. Let me know if you need a shoulder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdaru Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Glad you found these boards, this is a great source of information and support. My Dad is also newly diagnosed, and his mood is all over the map. So I can relate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 This is my first visit to your site. I've been a caregiver for my husband for 6 years. First with Prostrat cancer in 1998, then a triple-heart by-pass in 1999. Year 2000 developed lung cancer and he has been fighting it since then. He is stage 4 and is slowly going downhill and I've been feeling so helpless and very sad. I seem to be crying all the time, almost as if I was grieving for him. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, just wanted to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 TeeTee welcome. And, of course keep coming back. Rosebush. welcome too. You come here and pour your little heart out. You have a lot to grieve. You have got lots and lots of people here to listen. So you just have at it and cry and cry and we will help you with your tears. They gotta let all the sorrow out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather M. Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 Rosebush- There is so much love and support here. I was amazed at how many people have similar stories to my mothers. This is a wonderful place to come to vent. I know that I don't feel so alone and helpless now. I will be praying for you and your husband. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaffie Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 Welcome TeeTee and rosebush As you see there are plenty of people here ready to jump in and help you with any questions you many have or just lend an ear when you need support. Keep us posted Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neechi Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 I am so sorry that you had the need to find us here, but now that you need us, welcome and don't hesitate to ask questions. Everyone is very nice and supportive and very informative as well. It was funny that you mentioned the quitting smoking....my mom never quit she smoked until the last time she went into the hospital, she told me "this is the only NORMAL thing I have left, I can't give it up". At the time it made me mad, but I think most would understand what she meant. I hope your mother's treatment and recovery are quick and as painfree as possible. Keep us posted! Nicki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 teetee and rosebush, Both of you have already been on this roller coaster for a while. Treatment helps. It helps physically and emotionally. I felt like at least I was doing something about it. I felt terrible at the time, but I knew it would end and hoped it would kill all of those nasty critters that might be left after surgery. So far, it has worked. I will add both of you to my prayer list and hope that things get much better for both of you. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJAS Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 Welcome to TeeTee and Rosebush, While it's tough to see more families joining the fight, it's lovely to have more in the fold to support each other. Thanks for joining in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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