Waayyy PARANOID or....

[DebsSky]

Hi All:

Hope everybody had a great Christmas!! I have been lurking and reveling at all the good news, also deeply saddened by any bad... For all you good news people, congrats, hope to hear more; for all bad news, my thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Dean Carl's post was awesome to name a few.

I have a question for all you great folks and opinions are greatly appreciated. My mom has finished her 4th and last round of chemo. just before Christmas. She has been doing amazingly with all of it, until now. About 2 or 3 days after her last round she has been quite sick. Vomiting, aches, pains, going from sweating to freezing, sometimes happening at the same time, sleeping alot, she has been quite depressed throughout this as well. I have been extremely scared and worried for her. Is this stuff normal?

I found myself today actually wondering if she is going to make it through all this crap. My grandfather called and asked me if I thought she was gonna make it through this and I faltered and couldn't answer him right away. I feel guilty for it and paranoid maybe. She has been doing great, but right now I am scared for her. Maybe it could be because she has finished her last round and now they are looking at radiation at the end of January, not sure. I don't want to be negative at all....

Hope all you great people can shed some light for me.

Love and prayers always,

Deb

[kimblanchard]

Hi, Deb. I don't know exactly about your Mom, but my husband is 56, he had all of those things one time or another, it has been 11 months and he is still here. We started treatments in January, he didn't really feel good until about May but we had a lovely Summer. It wasn't trouble free but it was a big improvement. It was worth it. Hopefully your Mom is just going through a rough patch. Have you asked her doctors?

The sleeping is worrisome. It could be bad or maybe not. You just have to get through it. I wake Jim if he is sleeping too long and get him to sit in a chair, for his circulation and breathing.

What we do is deal with each problem as it occurs, do whatever, get a med for the nausea, put on a hooded sweatshirt for the chills, take it back off when he gets hot. Dealt with each day, each problem, one at a time. AND called the doctor a lot. They have a med for many of these things. Just break it down in little pieces and deal with the little pieces.

The depression - we didn't have too much of that or maybe it was "silent." Jim is on a med for it, plus we really did try to stay active and involved in all of life.

Wishing the best for you and your Mom. Margaret

[kimmek]

Hi Deb

When you described your mom's problems, I thought you were speaking of my mom!! Mom went thru chemo and radiation at the same time, never really having a horrible time with it like we expected. But almost the day she got done she started going down hill. We spent the better part of november in and out of the hospital trying to find the "problems". Nothing ever came back that would cause her the pain she had or the just all around bad feeling she had. Didnt want to get outta of the recliner, stared off in to space, breathing got worse, the sweats, chills, you name it, she had it. Even thru all this we found out, the cancer was gone and she was officially NED, that almost made her even worse it seems.

We ended up with lots of opinions but I tend to go with what we were told when she first began treatment by both her oncoligist and radiation doc "we will bring you to the brink of death,make you feel as if you are dying and almost that you want to die, then you will start to get better". I had always assumed that was to happen during treatment and since it never did, we were just lucky. No luck to it, it happened afterwards.

I just have to remember what she has been thru, and the fact the everything"inside" her has been poisened and she has to slowly build herself back up. The radiation doc told us the other day, that yes she feels bad, but some of it has to be "in her head", although very real to her. Her life changed overnight, and for 6 months she knew what to do, chemo,radiation,scans, appointments,labs,etc always going, never time to think about anything but getting better. Then almost overnight again, its over and people just cannot jump back into life like they jumped out. Its not going to be the same. In my moms case she also ended up retireing in the midst of all this, so thatwas just an extra burden to deal with. It was easier to feel bad and do nothing, than feel good and have nothing to do.

I finally just let mom be in control of how she felt, i quit calling docs everyday trying to find out why she was so sick still, now about a month later, she is still complaining about not feeling good, but she is slowly getting stronger and feeling and loooking better. We are going to start an excersise program in january to help build her strenght back, which hopefully will help her to feel better. I guess its just a long slow process even if you dont have surgery.

Good luck with your mom, she will get better, she may not believe it yet, but she will. Patience is definetly a virtue and something I have NEVER had. I just want my mom back as I am sure you do.

You and your mom are in my prayers and feel free to pm me anytime if you need a ear or shoulder or anyting at all

God Bless

Kim

[daggiesmom]

Hi Deb,

Alot of what you're describing of Mom's symptoms were also mine. (I had limited sclc) I had concurrent radiation, however, maybe a lot of the nausea and sleepiness is due to the chemo knocking the hell out of you. I slept ALOT; I was given Zofran to control the vomiting and it worked very well. Try and make sure she has plenty of liquids even though(and especially because) of the vomiting. She doesn't want to get dehydrated. I used to drink tons of Gatorade and practically lived on Ensure. I finished my chemo & radiation in June 2002. Went back to work in late July, but really started to feel better around November of that year. Please tell your Mom there is hope, that she feels terrible now because of all the poison in her system, but she will improve.

Joanie

PS - I also had the chills and was wearing a sweatsuit and sitting in 90 degree sunshine on my terrace! This will pass.

[SDianneB]

Deb, I'm sure not an expert about all this, but just remember that the human body works in incredibly complex ways, and putting things like chemo drugs and radiation into it on purpose was NOT part of the game plan!

Also, you don't just get stuff like that inside you and have it go away magically once the radiation machine stops churning. It continues to work and do its thing -- killing cells -- for a while after treatment stops. About a month is what I was told when I had chest radiation. Chemo and radiation can't tell the difference between healthy cells and icky cells, so they are all in the line of fire, so to speak.

The body is busy trying to fix itself, and the blood counts are going down and down and down, and it's trying to fix that too, and it's a huge battle. And while the battle is going on, all you want to do is to just lay down and cover up! Eventually, one thing gets better, then 2, then 3, then you start feeling better.

I remember being in sort of a "fog" while having chemo and radiation -- I didn't really get sick during all this, but would have to stop every day around 4:00 and rest for an hour or so. I remember how great it was when that heavy-headed feeling started going away and I began to feel GOOD again -- for the first time in a long time - yay!

This is just really a war if you get down to it. Sometimes we win a lot of battles, then have a setback, but don't count us down and out too soon!

Give your mom a BIG hug from me, and tell her to hang in there. I think this WILL get better for her soon.

Di

[Frank Lamb]

Deb,I also had chemo & radiation at the same time & felt poopy most of that time.I wanted to add a word of caution.One night after having chemo that afternoon I got the chills really bad (had to cover up with a blanket & I am always warm if not hot ).I was freezing and was sweating at the same time & had a high fever.Went to the ER and it turned out I'd had an allergic reaction to the paraplatin or carboplatin (can't remember now ).

As stated above chemo is actually being almost poisoned to death.Once it is done with it takes a month or two to get feeling better.(it stays in your system for a month or so.)

[Don Wood]

Deb, your mom is experiencing normal side effects, especially when taking chemo and radiation at the same time. They are both cumulative, and usually sap one as time goes on. The radiation continues working weeks after completion of treatment. Hang in there. Don

[DebsSky]

Thanks you guys....you always seem to find the right words to say and I am truly thankful to have found this site. Not too sure what I would have done without it. You have alleviated my fears and GUESS WHAT......my mom took off for a week to the coast to see my grandparents. I am hoping that her spirits will be lifted there and she will come to realize the fighter that she is and what she has been and is still going through.

Throughout this ordeal she has come so far. At the beginning of treatment they wheeled her into the Cross Cancer Institute on a stretcher having had seizures and a collapsed lung. She was so weak and sick and her onc. was very apprehensive about everything. Now he just sits there and grins at her telling how great she is doing and how wonderful she looks. I guess that says alot huh?!

Thanks again you guys, you have made my day and made me feel a bit more at ease. And Kim, thanks for the invite on the shoulder, I just may take you up on that, sometimes I just want to sit down and cry, but scared that I won't stop. My mom is very, very special to me.

Have a great happy, healthy 2005 all of you. Prayers and great thoughts for all of you,

Deb

[OhioKat]

Hi Deb

Her life changed overnight, and for 6 months she knew what to do, chemo,radiation,scans, appointments,labs,etc always going, never time to think about anything but getting better. Then almost overnight again, its over and people just cannot jump back into life like they jumped out. Its not going to be the same.

Kim

Thank god you posted that, here I've been sitting here thinking that something was wrong with me but what you've written here describes its about as perfectly as anything could. I get that feeling from everyone. After the first round of chemo & stuff before I even had a chance to start feeling really better it came back & I was tossed right back into surgery, & treatment. Now thats over and I just feel, unsure or something.

[kimmek]

Deb....I am so glad to hear your Mom is getting away for a bit, hopefully this will be just what she needs. My mom went to my brothers at Christmas, and although I was the one who had a hard time with her going I am so glad she did. She was going to stay for 2 weeks, but made it 6 days before she called me to come get her. I dont know if the short trip, just getting out of the house helped, or if as the days go by she is just feeling better everyday, but today I saw her, and WOW I saw my mom for the first time in along while. Happy,hair fixed,house cleaned(not me doing it) even the bed made, i couldnt believe it. So it does get better, and now i am so excited to see what tomorrow will bring, as is she.

I feel this will help your mom so much, let us know when she gets home,and how things are going.

Kat. those exact words almost, were what made me realize what my mom had been thru and even if cancer was not a part of it, any life changing event can alter your entire way of thinking, way of life, everything. Even my life has changed and will never be able to go back to before cancer. But i am excited as is my mom to see what lies ahead on this journey called life. Maybe mom will get a p/t job, she loves flower arranging, maybe she will pick up her crafts again and we will go to craft shows again and sell her wonderful creations. Who knows, but rather than looking at it like she is "sick", we are looking at it like any person would who has just retired. Making the most of each day is what is important.

Heres to a wonderful new year for everyone

God Bless

Kim