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What a day. Yesterday - Beth and Addie. And others. Not good news. Super people, bad news. Hand wringing time. NOT good. Did NOT want this to happen to ANYONE on this forum. HEAR THAT? NO ONE.

So, I'm busy having my pity party yesterday because menopause just will NOT come and stay at my house, and look what happens to others we care about so much. Good grief. God, I'll give up menopause if you'll just take back yesterday and all the bad news, and the day before that and its bad news, and the one before that, and before that, and on and on.

Sweet Alice, how are you? I saw a Schmaydee post come through recently, so I know he's still hanging in there. I just want everyone to do well -- to hold their own. To not have more BAD.

I want good things to happen. These are good people. I want them to feel better. I need them. We need them. But most of all, they have families and loved ones who need them. The world needs them.


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Sunny day here in Iowa and both my boys and my brother-in-law here and we watched a pay-per-view movie Troy. Ate popcorn. Yes, so much sadness and very much here at our house but not all the time. Dogs getting double and triple cuddles. Kentucky Fried Chicken. Decadence.

This stuff is real and I worry about several of you guys. But it was always real, we just weren't looking at it. Happens to people without a computer, too, and wouldn't that be awful, more awful. Don't know what to say - Live it up, love each other, take in the scenery.

Anyway, just sending out tons of love, have a good day today, take them drugs if ya got 'em. 86,400 seconds in every day. Use them for things that are lasting.

Love, Margaret

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Margaret, what a sweetie you are. I never cease to be amazed at the depth of compassion within people. You are grieving, and yet take your time to reach out to others here. And with the greatest words.

Whatever would we do without the little 4-legged members of our families?


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Why do I keep coming back here? LC robbed me of the best thing I have ever had. And yet, here I am, everyday, usually more than once a day.

Why, because I care so much about so many of you. Because I want to give whatever knowledge and support that I can to survivors and caregivers.

While I do not believe the statistics and I know that tremendous strides are being made by the medical community, this disease is tough. There will always be bad news and I guess it is important that we continue to be here to encourage and support those who receive bad news.

I have ached all day since reading about Beth and Addie. But I do not write them off or give up hope, I just ache at the fear and anxiety they must have.

Yesterday, I was on a jury that convicted a man on six counts of a federal indictment. It was very emotional for me. By the letter of the law, the man was guilty and in reading the internet this a.m. I saw that he could get up to 22 years. He has a wife and 5 young children, he is smart and what he did was just stupid. When the judge met with us after the verdict, I spoke for the jury asking the judge to offer leniency where he could because we did not believe the man was a 'crimanal'. They were basically white collar crimes.

So I see too much sadness today and I thank you all for your friendship and the kindness you all show.

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I'm a bit still in ostrich mode. Mostly, I snooze, doze on the couch....try to avoid thinking.

I'd gotten to where I could wake in the morning and cancer was NOT the first thing on my mind.

It is now, again. :(

I'm more scared this time. I have two lungs. Never thought about not having SOME lung capacity to breathe with. And the docs tell me today that my lungs sound "great"!!

But I'm not sure what to think about a liver and pancreas riddled with an aggressive cancer. Not sure at all. So I'm more scared and just trying to work my way thru that fear so I can get back to "determined to tolerate chemo in order to beat this stuff back again!!~"

Never mind the mind-blowing aspects of this coming so FAST after the end of treatment, when I did so well. I mean, the radiologist had to ask my onc WHERE the primary cancer had been in my lung...beczuse there was NO trace of it. Just a little linear scarring from the radiation!

CT scan on Jan.3rd was totally clean. Radiologist went back to review it, comparing it to the MRCP of Friday that showed all the activity in the liver and pancreas. NOTHING was there in January.

This stuff came on fast. I hope the chemo blows the crap out of it JUST as fast.

I know I speak for Beth too, when I say we both appreciate all your good thoughts going out on our behalf. They have power....and right now, Beth and I can use all the help we can get, right Justa? We thank you.

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I am still in shock over your news and Beth's news. It is alot to handle. You must know that you have our prayers, our good wishes, our positive thoughts... all that and more.

I, for one, have not been able to "not think" about the terror that you two have been going through. I cannot imagine the second time around, especially when we know how tough the first time around was. But, I also have confidence that the courage that you will need will come from somewhere so that you can successfully get through the treatment for these mets.

Even though, the words aren't always here on the board, the thoughts are in my mind and the feelings are in my heart. I am sure that is the way for most all of us.

Sending you love many times throughout the day.

Cindi o'h

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