rogfam Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man; he would never go for this carrying on." She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the telephone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 That was very funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lindseysmom Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Hi Rogfam, That was a cute story. I just bought my grandson a t-shirt this weekend that read WANT TO HEAR MY SPECIAL EFFECTS. Best Wishes, Dee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Dee..that is a perfect gift for a boy! I am sure he loves it! Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rogfam Posted February 23, 2005 Author Share Posted February 23, 2005 lol :)I debated even putting it here, but it got such a big laugh with my own family, I just had to! Laughter is good medicine! I have two little boys of my own, and I think this is their favorite subject. My dad even bought them a book a few weeks ago called "Walter the Farting Dog"!! A wonderfully hilarious book for the entire family! lol the boys just love it! hehe Christy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 My husband and son used to have farting and burping contests. It's either a guy thing or a maneuver to get mom out of the house. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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