Jump to content

baked beans


Recommended Posts

Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a man and fell in love.

When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself,

"He is such a sweet and gentle man; he would never go for this carrying on."

She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later

her car broke down on the way home from work.

Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him

that she would be late because she had to walk home.

On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans

was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to

walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time

she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt

reasonably sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,

"Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he

was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang.

He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned.

He then went to answer the telephone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the

pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was

out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one

leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk.

She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.

Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which

reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the

conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another

ten minutes. When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.

She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned,

apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and

she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the

blindfold, and she was surprised!!! There were twelve dinner guests

seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

lol :)I debated even putting it here, but it got such a big laugh with my own family, I just had to! Laughter is good medicine! :lol:

I have two little boys of my own, and I think this is their favorite subject. :? My dad even bought them a book a few weeks ago called "Walter the Farting Dog"!! A wonderfully hilarious book for the entire family! lol the boys just love it! hehe


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.