Starting Chemo Regimen

[UncleDoug]

Hi, Guys!; Waiting on pins and needles finally paid off - I have pin and needle holes all over my feet! (Or maybe it's from the needle biopsy - who can tell?)

Got my diagnosis: SCLC (extensive) starting in left lung (about 3.7cm x 4cm) with METS to right adrenal gland (7.8cm x 8cm). Large mass on right side pushing up and down. This is causing me the pain which first brought me to the ER and initial diagnosis.

Had MRI on head, and CT on bone mass 4/04/05. This to rule out/in additional METS.

Start chemo on 4/06/05. Radiation and surgery ruled out due to size and placement of the mass'. On 3, off 13 cycle of Carboplatin and Vepesid (VP-16). Wish me luck! I'll trade pain for nausea and hair loss anytime. I'll keep you all posted on my progress as I go down this road that you've so graciously blazed for me.

Started a Journal. Here is an excerpt. Feel free to comment:

Sunday, April 3rd No big difference between this Sunday and any other Sunday, except this Sunday I have a slightly more realistic view of my own mortality. It’s funny. When I get up in the morning it sometimes takes 5 or 10 minutes to pass before I think of the “C” word. You know - just like any other morning – ‘Yawn - “La-de-dah-de-dah” - take a leak – “La-de-dah-de-dah” – open the door and get the paper – “La-de-dah-de-dah” – pet the cat – “La-de-dah-de . . .”, HOLY shi_! I’M DYING!!”’ It takes the sting out of the morning drizzle, I’ll give you that.

Reality can be a real witch, sometimes. This is the part in the movie, by the way, where the young, pretty, divorcee, with one adorable little 8 year-old boy to raise, sags to the floor in the hallway and starts sobbing uncontrollably into her hands; silently, of course, so as not to wake Jimmy, who doesn’t know yet, and has to be gotten off to school; and then there’s Bob, her ex, the b*stard, who . . . Well, you get the picture.

But most mornings aren’t really like that, of course. What you really do is finish making coffee, take the front section – leaving the bulk of the paper on mom’s chair so she can read it when she gets up – turn on the ‘Today’ show real low (so that’s what the most recently fired apprentice on “The Donald’s” reality show really thinks) and start planning a day with slightly shorter roads attached to it than before; a day with slightly fewer options, where money isn’t quite so important, where, “Say . . . listen to those songbirds out there” is said with a slightly different pitch in your voice. A day, that when the FedEx driver delivering a package to your neighbor says, in passing, “Hey, how’s it going?” you stand there like an oaf, silent, until he pulls away. Not because you’re rude, or ill-mannered, or have nothing to say in response – but because you have so much to say in response that you’re still filtering options in your mind as he drives out of sight. Just another morning. Just another grain of sand falling into the bottom half of Dorothy’s hourglass.

See ya,

Uncle Doug

Tacoma, WA

[cindi o'h]

Uff da.

Welcome to the club!

Cindi o'h

[pecola]

I LOVE your spirit and the journal, Uncle Doug! Once you start the chemo, you'll start kicking some cancer bu**!

Keep sharing that journal!! You paint a great picture with your words!

Best wishes,

Gina

[Patkid]

Unc,

I followed a link I found on MrsManny's profile to a site called carebridge, I think. I was thinking that something similar to that would be awesome for you, in particular. Your journal is a gift to Brian and to me. We hang on the computer for each day's entry............(By the way: I hope you don't think a little thing like SCLC will get you out of sharing today's......................we are waiting *foot tapping impatiently*) It looked like a site where you could give updates and do journaling that folks you share the link w/ can go to bask in your warm humor and "rest a spell".

We care

Wadda ya think?

P

[Fay A.]

Hi, Doug,

I didn't see this when you first posted on Monday. I was spending time with my adorable 8 year old nephew (son of my brother, the custodial parent who will soon be marrying the beautiful, kind, younger by 13 years, Divorcee. We like happy endings around here.)

Hoping yesterday's chemo was uneventful, and that you are soon pain free. And, Doug, if you look at each one of those grains of sand under a microscope, they shine like diamonds as long as you allow the light in. Even when you're sick. Trust me.

[Fay A.]

whoops...double post

[Hebbie]

Doug,

I have an 8 year old son and an ex myself -- only I am the one with cancer......my fears include trying to figure out whether or not my son's dad would continue to let his stepdad (my current husband) continue to be a big part of his life if I wasn't here......

BUT......we must be strong and have hope that we WILL be here and your sense of humor about this unbelievable situation will serve you well as you begin this journey!!!

I have a friend in my local LC support group meeting that is an 8 year survivor of Extensive SCLS and doing quite well -- in remission since her initial treatment. Keep the faith!!

Heather

ps -- when you get through this treatment and emerge out the other side, consider publishing that journal -- it would be amazing!!