melaniem Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Hey everyone: Today is my follow-up mri after 20 rounds of WBR. The neurosurgeon who assured me he "got it all" and "I don't expect to see you after we get this behind us, it was a one time thing", now told me how "evil" the tumor was and that he is concerned of it coming back.??? He totally switched sides here, I know the tumor was bad and realize that it could come back, but this dr. assured me he didn't think it would..until now. You know if they would just stick to one theory..that might help. Let's build this girl up to think it was a fluke thing and then later after she does all we want her to let's throw her back under the bus. So anyway, I'm really nervous. My spirits are still pretty good, I'm tired like everyone who battles this is, but I'm hanging in there. Summer's here and the kids are home so we're playing games and going to the pool. Now that's a sight ya'll don't want to imagine, this big ol' girl all puffed up on steroids...bald...in a bathing suit!!! EEEWWW!! Prayers going out to all, Love, Melaniem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Melanie, That doc wanted to believe his first theory so badly..........so did we.......the inconsistency and wavering of his opinion must be so aggravating. Try to remember, he really has no clue, none of us do. We have to trust and believe that we are held in loving hands and all will be well accordingly. The consistencies you have are wonderful; remember: your wonderful family your strong supporters on LCSC prayers offered up on your behalf a wonderful summer of good times w/ your kids and love, support and encouragement from, Brat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Mel...my doc isn't really doom and gloom...but neither is he Pollyanna. Just FYI....my cancer recurred in my pancreas and liver. After three cycles of Topotecan, a CT report showed "pancreas appears normal". Now....I took that to mean that the cancer in my pancreas was GONE after three cycles of chemo!! Woo Hoooo...I was a happy camper. My onc, when I asked him about the report....said, "Don't lock on any one remark in the report....try to look at the overall. The pancreas appears normal...but it depend on where the CT took its slices. The important thing is that OVERALL, it appears there has been about a 50% reduction in the amount of tumor activity." Now...that didn't exactly say my pancreas was clean...but for halfway thru chemo, a 50% reduction was still pretty positive, so I hung onto that. I think sometimes our docs WANT as much for us as we want for ourselves (a cure...or in lieu of that, a long remission or long time of stable/no growth!) and so maybe they make statements that it would be more prudent to qualify. No need to get our expectations higher than they ought to be...eh? But I try, now, to temper my own expectations. I'm in the midst of cycle 6. This should be the end of chemo for a while...BUT....it might not be. If these last three cycles haven't wiped out the rest of what was in my liver AND possibly still "hidden" in my pancreas or anywhere else, for that matter...I might need more chemo. I'm trying to keep a balance between my normal optimistic self and the potential reality that tells me I MIGHT be continuing with chemo for a while...or I might only hear "stable" at best....not "clean"! I try to take it as it comes. What really matters is that the weather is warming up and last night was the first time I DID NOT have to take a cap to bed for my poor bald head. And....I feel pretty good. Appetite is good. Weight holding. Been getting some things done around the house, along with all my crafty stuff I like to do. Energy level isn't too bad. Have played 9 holes of golf a couple of times and intend to do lots more! I think radiation has even more an effect on energy level. I went thru 13 days of PCI last November. The doses are a bit lighter than with WBR....but you still feel the effects on stamina. Give it a little time....your energy will return. Remember too...you might have scar tissue that will show up on the MRI....that they aren't SURE is scar tissue. I had a spot they followed with a couple of MRIs. I was lightheaded...which is what made my onc order the first MRI to check on it. The second MRI showed the spot a wee bit smaller...and it was small to begin with. So I assume it's scar tissue. I'm not symptomatic other than the occasional occular migraine...and I got those once in a while before cancer. They are stress related too, I'm convinced. So.....I try to stay stress free and indulge in as much silliness and fun as I can. I recommend it! Hand your nervousness over to us. Let us hold it for you....and you knock yourself out getting silly....ya hear? Your gonna be fine...the WBR is still working....there is a residual effect, you know. So whatever they see on THIS MRI is gonna look even BETTER by the time you have the next one. It's how it usually works. Keep on having fun with the kids at the pool. Maybe people won't think you're bald for any other reason than that you're a professional swimmer and have SHAVED your head in order to be faster in the water! Ya think? Oh who cares anyway...we've all got bigger fish to fry than worrying about people who've never seen a bald woman before. Hell....most of us came into this world that way...there's no reason we can't walk around NOW without hair, is there? Thinking of you, Melanie....and sending ALL good thoughts!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doughnut Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Thinking of you today. Dee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Hi Melanie, Will be thinking and sending you meditations to you. Praying for good results!! Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Melanie, Sending sooo many prayers your way. Have been for a long time...even though I haven't seen you post for a while. My hopes are that all goes well for you and that there is some good news to report. ((((Melanie)))) Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nancy B Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Melanie, Many prayers going your way for a clear MRI. Enjoy the summer with your kids. Hugs and Prayers, Nancy B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Melanie: I hope the mri brings you good news. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haylee_38 Posted June 9, 2005 Share Posted June 9, 2005 Melanie, Praying for good news from the MRI. My thoughts are with you. Haylee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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