Ann Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 I really feel guilty about this post, as there are so many members that have such recent losses but I am hoping just "talking" will make things easier to accept. When Dennis was diagnosed with LC, his oncologist explained the necessity of a biopsy to determine the type of cancer. Dennis has a cousin that had breast cancer. She is a registered nurse and happens to be very opinionated. She immediately told my FIL that Dennis should not have a biopsy as that would cause the cancer to spread faster. Dennis listened to his oncologist and wanted to have the biopsy. My FIL even came to my work, telling me that I had to change Dennis' mind about the biopsy. He finally started crying and said "you don't know how it feels to lose a son." He then proceeded to call my sons and tell them that their mother made him cry. Dennis had the biopsy and the relationship got back to normal during his illness. After Dennis died, his family acted as if I was non existant. No calls, no visits....nothing. After 26 years of being part of a family, I had been aired out to dry. They weren't happy about the fact Dennis had been cremated, per his wishes and also blamed me for this. For almost three years now, there has been practically no contact between us. Then, last Thursday evening, a 91 year old aunt of Dennis's called to see if I could come and help her, as she was sick and alone. I went, without hesitation. I stayed with her until she was finally admitted to the hospital on Saturday. During hospital visits, I have seen extended family members that are now telling me that my FIL has told everyone that I wouldn't let him in my house to visit his dying son. NOT TRUE!!! My FIL now has pancreatic cancer and my MIL is now a 24 hour caretaker. I had been doing well with this but since being around the family again, all the pain is returning. Am I wrong for feeling like a victim here? I feel as if I have been tried, convicted and executed without a jury. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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