francesbean Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 It hasn't been a good couple of days for me. Please knock some sense into me if you think that it's stupid that I'm feeling resigned and upset again. It appears that some of us here are winning the battle, and I specifically refer to those who have not had surgeries, those whose tumors are 'far along'. But then after a period of stable scans and/or remission, cancer will rear its ugly head and come back eventually. It's just so dreadful and unfair. I am deeply saddened by each member we lose here, because it represents my eventual loss. Forgive me if that sounds so... pessimistic. I have not really meant to offend anyone, but that's just how I feel at the moment. I'm feel like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's horrid that I live in fear all the time. On top of that are the family problems. Relatives who are so inconsiderate that they still pick fights with Mother. As if they don't see that she's struggling so much as it is. I wish I can do something for my parents, but things are really beyond my control... I feel helpless and guilty. God bless, everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karma1976 Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 It is very frustrating I know. Do not give up!!! Positive enegry has been known to do wonders!! Just try to block out all the bad (easier said then done I know) But when I would get frustrated, I would write a letter to a paper or to an organization about lung cancer. Take the anger out for good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 I can certainly understand why you are feeling a little down right now. This board has suffered the loss of so many wonderful people lately. Just remember you can always vent here. There are so many good listeners! As for your family....good luck! It seems that so many of us have family problems when the going gets tough! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 To be depressed is normal for us humans. Yet, we can decide to pull ourselves out of it with the help of others. You have made a good start by expressing your feelings here. I wish you positive things. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 We all have those days, I think. I know I did. You'll get your fighting gloves back on soon. Feel what you need to feel. I really, really struggled with insensitive people too. Having hope means that you stare the beast in the face and don't back down regardless of how ferocious he is, not that you deny that the beast is a powerful enemy. Hang in there. We're here for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 My dear Frances, Please STOP beating yourself up this VERY minute. The journey we are all on is very precarious. Some days good....some not. What a daughter you are....a breath of fresh air.....a support to your family. Please just keep doing what you have. You have earned my admiration. As far as family, well, that too is not uncommon. And you are correct that you cannot control those things. I remember each day that prayer you posted that you said you say each day for all of us. I will be saying one of mine each day for you, sweet girl! (((Frances))), Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shar Posted August 11, 2005 Share Posted August 11, 2005 Hi Frances, I know exactly how you feel, it is hard to stay upbeat all the time. Even though I have had really good results lately, it is always at the back of my mind that one day my luck will run out. I absolutely hate this **** of a disease!!!!!!! Please keep your spirits up and focus on the good!!! You sound like a wonderful person! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missyk Posted August 11, 2005 Share Posted August 11, 2005 Frances- I am there, too, many days. That frustrated, scared, helpless feeling tends to hold on really tight. When it gets it's tightest grip...I call my Mom. I listen to her voice and absorb ever ounce of love she sends to me. It reminds me just how important it is for me to keep going when the world (and dealing with this disease) seems to want to trip me up. I listen to her voice, still so strong but interrupted with coughing...i listen to what she tells me, filled with advice, laughter, and so much love...i listen to what she doesn't say, too, to know what it is that i might be able to help her with. You WILL make your way back out of this gloom, and we're here to help lift you while you're feeling down. Keeping you in prayers... With love, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leslie221 Posted August 11, 2005 Share Posted August 11, 2005 (((Frances))) You did exactly the right thing coming here and letting it all out! I have had the very same thoughts you mention. Dealing with cancer is truly a roller-coaster ride and, as long as you are prepared for the dips and sharp turns they won't be as scary. Hang in there and feel free to vent about any annoying aunts or uncles here - we won't tell! Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
francesbean Posted August 11, 2005 Author Share Posted August 11, 2005 Many thanks for the caring thoughts and words of advice. There are just some days which are really bad. I hope and pray that it will be smooth sailing soon for all of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted August 12, 2005 Share Posted August 12, 2005 I'm a BIG believer in the power of venting. Sometimes we just need to let it all out, and this board provides a great place to do so safely. We've all been there, and we're all glad for the folks who pull us out of that place. Hope your feeling better soon! Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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