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Upbeat and Loving It


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I know it has been a crappy beginning of the month on here...i spent alot of time sitting in front of this computer shedding tears...and wondering what kind of complication we would run into next with Mom with all of it going on here. So far, we're not dealing with anything unexpected and we're happy!!

She goes today for the results of the MRI and CT's she had done in preparation for the next SRS and beginning the next rounds of taxol/carbo. I can't seem to find the anxiousness that normally follows knowing we're waiting for results. Is it that i've finally settled into this, is it that i'm not paying enough attention, or is it that, somewhere,i know it's going to be ok this time? I'm afraid to feel optimistic...like i'll "curse" something if i do. Silly, i know. But she's had about a month break from all the treatment and she's feeling and sounding better than in the midst of it all. The cough is still there (and the drs are still arguing about WHY it is) and the esophagus is still painfull, but her energy level is coming up a little bit which eases our minds a touch, too. She might begin the 5 hour chemo today, though she'd love to go in and get told she doesn't have to! (A dream i think most of you know well!)

I just wanted to let you all know, the month isn't all bad...though i feel a little guilty in saying so. There are so many people i wish i could have sharing in some much needed breaks from the drugery of treatment and worries, even if for just a little bit.

Peace, love, and prayers for all,

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I know how you feel. A few weeks ago someone called this a roller coaster experience- how true!!! I am sitting here now shedding tears! Things are going well though- nothing specific to cry about just in general crying about the whole mess! HAPPY to hear that things are going well physically and emotionally!

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Don't ever feel guilty about bring good news here. We thrive on the positive results. That is what gives so many people hope. Good news like that of your moms.

So glad for both of you.

Good luck with the MRI and CT results.


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I needed to hear all of that, miss Missy. so thank you. you all know I struggle with that optimism - under the guise of being 'realistic'. I think of you often, though I don't always have time to write the long, lovely messages we used to.

on my end, I am feeling happy that mom is home from the hospital but pretty badly depleted. hopefully, the derailed vaca will happen soon. until then, posts like yours, quite literally, keep me going.

do keep us posted on the scans. love and prayers to you,



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