-Cheryl- Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 Dear Friends, I have had such a rough week emotionally. Last week I was too tired from the chemo to concentrate on anything, much less my own demise. This week...I have been thinking a lot about death. I do believe in an after life, but think the earth is such a grand place I am not ready to leave yet! This planet is so awesome, what must Heaven be like? Why are we here....to learn something apparantly. When we die and live for eternity, do we still learn stuff? The things that bother me most about my death are: * Will I suffer? * I share everything with my husband, but I can't share this with him....So, will I be alone when I pass between worlds? * Your supposed to love the Lord more than wordlly things....How do you let go of those things and peope that bind you to the earth, and will they see you again in Heaven? Some days, when in pain, I think to myself...I do not know if I am strong enough to endure this. It would be easier for everyone and me if I just go ahead and die. I sure wish I could ascend into heaven instead of going trough death,,,but wo am I? Christ had to die and suffered for you! But then I think,,,,I am just not ready yet. I have things I want to do, but will I feel physically like doing them? I wish I had some control over something, but cancer takes that from you. How do you plan for the future with cancer? I live day to day....but need to plan a little before it hits me in the face. The tears have been just flowing all week like a faucet. It happens just anywhere and any place. Just like some involuntary bodily funtion that leaves you embarrassed and ashamed. Meanwhile..I keep telling everyone that "I am O.K.", but apparantly my my emotions aren't on the same page. I know that we all will die, but the reality of it has hit me prtty hard this week, and made me quite sad. Cheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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