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Where IS she????

dani hobbs

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I can't get beyond this emptiness....I drove miles & miles to look at my sister's high school yearbook, which her vengeful ex-husband destroyed after their marriage ended. (She was on practically every page--energetic, young & full of life & hope & promise). I drove to sit at her grave. (Just a stone with her name on it--still a shock). I want to talk to her and talk about her. I want to talk to HER. I remember the sound of her voice, the inflections...I want to dream about her, but I don't sleep at all. My immediate family look the other way & change the subject when I talk about her. She died the day before her son's birthday---I think she planned it that way---she didn't want to ruin his birthday for the rest of his life. She was so outgoing in life, and I am not....just vivacious. Everyone wanted to talk to her. We spoke in a shorthand that no one else understood. Now, there is no one that understands my language. She doesn't come to me in dreams, there are no "signs", I don't feel she is "with" me. She is just....GONE!!!!!!

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Dear Dani,

That hurts just to read. I felt you're pain. I dont know what to say except that time heals all wounds. I know as I lost my Brother and thought things could/ would never be the same. They never will but I can bear that now, when before I couldnt.

I believe my Brother is happy, healthy and at peace with God in Heaven. I hope you believe the same about you're dear Sister. I want to help you but I dont know how. My family all wanted desperatly to help me but couldnt. I had to help myself and that took time. You are in my prayers and you're Sister is you're Angel now.

God bless you,


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I'm so sorry for your emptiness. I remember that feeling after my Dad passed...just missed him so bad! But I came to realize that, like Katie said, he was with me. In spirit. We are so used to the "physical" that we sometimes forget how very real the "spirit" plane is, as well. Reach out your arm...she's there...I PROMISE! In time, you'll be sensitive to feeling that. I agree, she IS your angel, and will always be with you. I know my Dad is with me - I keep his Harley bells hanging on my wall. I give 'em a shake to say "hi" when I'm missing him, or wanting to connect.

I wish you peace, and comfort!


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Dani, I am so sorry to hear that things are so very rough for you right now. I wish I had the right words to help ease your pain and take away some of the emptiness. I do know that it helps to talk about the loved ones that we have lost and it seems your family is not talking about your sister. If I were you, I would find a group in your area that offers grief counseling. This would give you an opportunity to talk about your sister while working through your grief. Luckily, I had a couple of friends that were very good listeners and sat through hours and hours of me expressing my pain. Dennis' family were always very "tight lipped" after his death and never seemed to even want to talk about him at all. In many ways, you would think he had never existed as a son to them. Of course, remember that we are all here to listen...always. I am praying so hard that God will grant you the ability to find some peace and understanding about this tragic loss.

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