Assorted thoughts

[beckyg]

I saw some old friends this weekend--people I hadn't seen since college, nine years or more ago. One of them commented that he had never seen my hair so short, and I said, "Oh, you didn't hear. This is chemo hair. I have lung cancer." He sat for a minute starting at me and then said something about how young I am and that he knew I didn't smoke in college. I told him I never did smoke and that my situation is more common than people think. He asked if anyone knew why this happened, and I said, "No, but I think it is that the air is not as clean as the President would have us believe." I have conversations like this all the time. People don't know it is even possible to get lung cancer if you don't smoke. They don't know it is possible to get lung cancer if you aren't at least 50 years old.

I have started decorating my office door with lung cancer facts and some cancer facts in general. The general cancer facts I am interested in are how it affects "young adults" because, heck, most of my audience is in the 18-25 age range. There is at least one major in our department who is currently in remission from some sort of cancer (a lymphoma, I believe).

A friend stopped by my office yesterday on her way out to donate blood. For just a minute I caught myself feeling guilty that I haven't donated since January. Then sanity settled in.

My husband's uncle was diagnosed with prostate cancer two weeks ago in his annual physical. He had surgery on Friday and is doing well. The doctor said none of the lymph nodes tested positive for cancer, so he feels good about getting it all. I think Steve is right now more down about having the catheter for 4 weeks and Depends for at least a few months than he is about the cancer. I understand that feeling--I focus on the inconveniences of this disease because if I focus on the fact that I have cancer rather than on the fact that I hate my current hairstyle, then the depression hits.

Becky

[Hebbie]

I've had similar conversations with people. I ran into a woman from my office one day, right after coming back from "chemo leave". She asked if I had been on vacation. I told her I had actually been undergoing cancer treatment. She said "Oh...Breast?" I said "No -- Lung" and her reaction was "WHAT? BUT YOU DON'T SMOKE". Now, keep in mind, this woman is one of the heaviest smokers I've encountered. She spends half the work day outside on a smoke break, yet she sounded HORRIFIED by the fact that I, a "non-smoker" had lung cancer -- she, like most people, assumed only smokers could get it......which, I find rather irronic, considering her heavy smoking habit.

[Guest]

The air was bad long before Bush took office. So let's not lay the blame on him. There are any number of reasons we get cancer, air quality is only one of them.

[RAY A]

No offense guest

But I didn’t see in beckyg’s post were it said president bush made the air dirty or it got dirty while he has been in office. Try to understand what her post is about and keep the politics out of it.

[-Cheryl-]

Becky,

THere is so much shame associated with this disease...as if lung cancer were a disease you bring on to yourself. I hate to even tell people what kind of cancer I have because they always assume you smoke to get it. I was a closet smoker, ashamed of the habit. I did not smoke in Public where people could see me. I quit right before I found out I had lung cancer. I do feel like I contrbuted to my cancer and it sickens me. People don't seem to be as sympathetic toward smokers. Nobody deserves this disease! But Becky is right, people just cannot imagine nonsmokers getting this disease, and they do. 40% of people with adenocarcinoma have never smoked! Several people in my family have gotten this disease, one never smoked. I want to educate people too about lung cancer, and feel my job is a good spring board for that. I work with kids ages 3-18.

Cheryl

[David A]

I do not like when people ask that question, did you smoke, even though I did smoke and I was a heavy smoker I try to educate them that non smokers get lc too. Like everyone says here know one deserves lung cancer NO ONE!

[Snowflake]

Ya know, that question of "How long did you smoke?" after telling someone you have lung cancer is kind of like when people say to a woman that's been raped "What were you wearing? You must have asked for it..."

Makes you wonder if some peoples' brains and mouths are running on separate circuits...

...just my view....kinda slanted tonight, have to admit.

...and I didn't think Becky G's statement about the president not necessarily telling the truth on air quality had anything to do with politics. He's a public speaker opening his mouth on a number of topics. Be it political, religious or "motivational", it's an opinion/statement given freely and open to interpretation. Just because GW is in politics doesn't mean that disagreeing with him is political - I think it's called "free will".

Hang in there, Becky G, it HAS to get better. Take the down time you need, but then get back on that horse and ride! (John Wayne is one of my heroes.)

Wish we could have a night out together sometime (in a SMOKE FREE, heavy cheesecake environment!) to deal with this carousel. Drop a line anytime, we can write a novel together!

Becky

[beckyg]

I think the smoking question is on a level with asking a woman who was raped what she was wearing or asking an AIDS patient if he's gay or an addict, but I almost welcome it anyway. I probably would feel differently about it if I had a diferent answer to the question, but right now I think of it as an opportunity to educate people about lung cancer. If it had ever dawned on me before my diagnosis that this could happen to me, I would have insisted on at least an x-ray years ago--I had the frequent bronchitis which is on EVERY list of early warning signs of lung cancer.

Also, I have said this before, but I'll say it again. Although the smoking question is thoughtless and hard to take, I think it is rarely malicious. We have mostly as a society gotten over the other two examples, but I think all three happen for the same reason--people really want to believe that if you don't do risky things, bad things won't happen to you.