Ideas?

[Treebywater]

The "One Year Day" is coming up in a couple of weeks. DH is going to have to go on another short trip on 'the boat' that day too... And I'm trying to think of ways to be active, to remember my Mom, and to do something to give back to honor her memory, so I don't just sit around and cry in my cheerios that day.

So I'm looking for ideas. I remembered that one day when Mom was in chemo, someone brought in Ice Cream Sundae's for everybody. She really liked that. I thought about maybe doing that at one of the local cancer centers. I also want to let off a balloon at some point during the day for her.

Any other ides?

[Ann]

Val...I really like the idea of taking ice cream to a local cancer center. The fact that your mom enjoyed that so much must make it very special for you. I also think the balloon idea is always a good one. Have you thought of planting a tree in her memory? A lot of parks really welcome that idea. A tree is something that keeps growing and will eventually offer so much beauty for many to see. Maybe you could buy a couple of books and donate them to a cancer center. You could print up your own little labels to place inside, saying they were given in memory of your mother. People are always looking for something good to read while getting treatments. Do you have a Hospice favility near you? If so, I think taking that beautiful little Carolyn to visit some of the patients would be a beautiful gesture. Many of the patients are alert and would love to see such a beautiful little girl. I know that would make your mom smile!!!

[Mskim]

I think all the advice here is wonderful, staying busy is the most helpful thing I think... the other thing is that it's quite alright to just cry in your cheerios too...

My mom has only been gone 10 weeks but I have been through a couple of Dad's angel dates and it is still hard...

Hugs,

Kim

[Trish]

Hi Val,

My Mom has been gone 16 weeks today and I can't imagine how you are feeling with the one year mark coming up.

Have you thought about doing something with your daughter that your Mom did with you when you were little? I find myself doing things with my daughter (she is older, 9 years old) that I remember doing with Mom to keep my mom's memory alive. I do get misty eyed but my daughter reminds me that grandma is in a better place and that God needed her more than us. Oh, kids are amazing!

Also, a friend suggested that I buy a picture frame with 3 mattes and put a picture of my mom, myself and my daughter all at the same age. I did this and love looking at it. It also gave me the chance to go back through some pictures of Mom when she was younger.

Well, I will be thinking of you Val.

Trish

[Kel M]

Hi Val,

I can relate exactly to your post. When Mom's one year anniversary came up on me, I wanted to do something to mark it as the sad and yet special day it is.

I think your ideas and those of those who are responded to you are lovely. Have you also considered writing a note (or notes) to someone (some people) who made your Mom feel special during her illness (a doctor or nurse, for example)?

I also starting purchasing books relating to hospice care for the patient and self-help books for family members. I've got a collection of 7 books so far that I am planning to donate to a local palliative facility when the time is right.

Whatever you decide, it will be appreciated.

Kel

[RandyW]

If you want another idea fruit and cheese trays are also great ideas and you do not have to worry about them melting anytime soon. A Baloon (spellin?) would be a great idea.

[jdjenkins]

You have a lot of really great idea here. We donated several cd players and a collection of cd's to the chemo unit at the UofM. We thought it might be nice for people receiving chemo to have music to listen to during treatment. We also released balloons on my Dad's birthday. We wrote messages to him on them. Be kind to yourself on this day, it is alright to feel sad and cry in your cherrios sometimes.

Denise