Guest shannygirl Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 My Step-Father was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer(squamus)? about a month ago. He went to the ER due to a horrible migraine and found out that he had 2 tumors on his brain and a tumor in his lung. One of the tumors in his brain was biopsied, came back positive for cancer and was removed. Chemo and radiation were started soon after. He has radiation for 15 mins. a day 5 days a week and chemo for 3 1/2 hours once a month for the next 6 months. To make things worse my Step-Dad has type 1 diabetes. I researched everything I could about lung cancer and about cried my eyes out. The Dr. told my Mom that my Step-Dad has about 4-5 years. My Mom thinks that means he has 4-5 more years before he gets sick again. From everything I've read I was under the impression that not many people survive 5 years. I'm confused about everything I've researched versus what this Dr. is telling my parent's. Hope is a great thing, but I also believe we need to face reality too and prepare ourselves for whatever may come. My Step-Dad seems very depressed. He talks about dying a lot. He's a Christian and not afraid to die, but told me he's sad about leaving my Mom. My Mom gets angry because she feels like he doesn't want to fight, he doesn't want to live. I get the impression that Ted, my Step-Dad, feels that everyone is sugar coating things. All he hears from most people is to stay strong, think positive, etc. He just turned 45 years old. I think it's natural that he feel depressed, sad and angry, but most people around him don't allow him his feelings. Also, the chemo and radiation make him so sick. He says after treatment he would almost rather die than feel that badly. My Mom is frustrated that he's so sick. She doesn't know if he's making himself feel sicker than what he truly is or if he is really that sick. She's never been sick a day in her life and I think she's having a really hard time understanding where her husband is coming from. For all of you have gone through this, do you think it's normal for the person who is sick to feel angry? depressed? etc? If it is normal, is there a time when it becomes detrimental to their health to stay in that state of mind? My Step-Dad wont quit smoking either. He figures he's going to die anyway, so why bother. He asked the Dr's if stopping now would improve his chances of living and they didn't say anything so he took that as "no". I want to be supportive of both my parent's. However, I truly believe my Mom is either in denial or the Dr's are not communicating clearly. Are people ever cured from lung cancer? My Mom seems to think so. I want my Mom to be prepared for the possiblity that her husband may die. Especially since he really seems to be more focused on dying than on living. I want my Step-Dad to feel that someone in the family hears what he is trying to say. I think he feels very alone and more scared than he admits. I feel very sad and wonder if this Christmas is going to be the last one we share together. I am almost to the point of not even wanting to research lung cancer because like I said, what the Dr's say versus everything I've read totally contradicts itself. I think of Dana Reeve's and Peter Jennings, and how fast they passed away. I wonder how the Dr's can tell my Step-Dad the he can have 4-5 more years. I'm confused, scared and would love any advice, wisdom or support anyone would like to throw my way. Thanks for listening to me ramble on. God bless all of you.... Shannon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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