Judy-OK Posted November 24, 2006 Share Posted November 24, 2006 With Thanksgiving just winding down and the onslaught of Christmas just around the corner I have a non-cancer related question. This time of year can be difficult for even the healthiest of folks. Is there one forum more appropriate than the other on LCSC just to have a good old feeling sorry for myself want to have a short pity party. I am normally a very stoic, upbeat person ... or perhaps that is all a front that I use to convince myself that everything is right with the world. My son and his family live about 35 miles away and he called yesterday to wish me a Happy Thankgiving. I guess the upsetting part is I was not invited. He does work two jobs and things are often chaotic at their house but as far as I know I am on good terms with him and his wife. Well thanks for listening maybe I just need a good old fashioned cry but that just makes my eyes hurt and gives me a terrible headache. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted November 24, 2006 Share Posted November 24, 2006 I think either this forum or the off topic forum are fine for a good ole pity party. I know what you mean about things bothering you at the holidays. Things just seem to get to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recce101 Posted November 24, 2006 Share Posted November 24, 2006 [Judy-OK] I am normally a very stoic, upbeat person ... or perhaps that is all a front that I use to convince myself that everything is right with the world. My son and his family live about 35 miles away and he called yesterday to wish me a Happy Thankgiving. I guess the upsetting part is I was not invited. He does work two jobs and things are often chaotic at their house but as far as I know I am on good terms with him and his wife. Hi, Judy: Though I've read a number of your posts, all very upbeat and helpful to new members, I don't recall any comments about your general relationship and previous visits with your son and family. So I may be off base here, but "you being you" I believe you'll take this the right way even if I am. In other words, not knowing all the facts has never held me back before! Taking your description a step further, I'd guess that your son and daughter-in-law are stressed out from all the seasonal activity, maybe they haven't had time to clean house or grocery shop, maybe the last thing they needed was the added stress of preparing a "traditional" Thanksgiving meal, maybe what they really wanted/needed was a chance to vegetate in front of the TV for a few hours. (Some of this scenario is autobiographical, as you probably figured.) If I'm halfway accurate here, then one needs to balance their stress against your (perhaps) loneliness and need for company. In this case the ball was in their court, and they chose to call, which was thoughtful. It looks as if you've had great success with your treatment -- that's wonderful, and I hope I do as well. If your health permits, and it appears that it might, perhaps you could take part in some of your community's "help the less fortunate" or "feed the homeless" projects which abound this time of year. I'm not speaking of behind-the-scenes help, but active contact and conversation with those receiving the help. Assuming you're no longer at high risk for infection, this contact would probably do you a world of good, and you'd have something new to talk about next time you see your son and daughter-in-law. Best wishes and Aloha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted November 24, 2006 Share Posted November 24, 2006 Hmmm. First I'm sorry you have the blues. Second, I wish I had a suggestion (guys always want to FIX things) but I don't. I just hope maybe you can both talk and see why the dinner together didn't happen. And next time hopefully it will. All my best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mendy Posted November 25, 2006 Share Posted November 25, 2006 Judy, I am sorry you weren't invited to spend Thanksgiving day with your son's family. I too would feel a bit sad about that. Most likely if they are working hard then things are a bit stressful and they haven't had time to make things as nice as they would like to have family over for dinner. They could just need a bit of time together to catch up and relax. My philosophy is to always clear the air by having a conversation to find out if things are ok and make plans to get together soon. If you are too tired to prepare a meal and you have the resouces, maybe you could offer to provide a prepared meal from a restaurant for everyone to enjoy that doesn't involve a lot of stress and time for everyone involved. Good luck and I hope you are able to get together with your son and his family. Mendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judy-OK Posted November 25, 2006 Author Share Posted November 25, 2006 Thanks to all of you. I had made all the same justifications that you all brought up to a friend of mine and she said I was just making excuses for him. She has been a friend for about 25 years but the one thing she has never been is a mother. I did have lunch with some neighbors and friends which again makes me just thank the Lord for this board, the realitites of life, and the capability to face life head on ..... I just don't like the whine I had to have. Amazing what an outlet like this forum and a few tears can do to solve a bad day. Thanks again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted November 25, 2006 Share Posted November 25, 2006 I believe that no one should be alone for Thanksgiving unless that is their choice. I think your son suffers from a bad case of insensitivity. We men sometimes don't get it. I'm glad you have a good relationship with your son and his family, and this shouldn't spoil that. Take care, and vent here anytime. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ursol Posted November 26, 2006 Share Posted November 26, 2006 judy, i agree with don. Lilly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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