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Never did introduce myself...really scared !

Guest Tim'sKathy

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Guest Tim'sKathy

Hi Everyone...

I posted before under Kathy but for some reason I can't log in...I never really did introduce myself and now 3 month from diagnosis I am finding that I am getting so discouraged.

My husband Tim, who is 54, was diagnosed 2 days after Christmas with NSCLC. He did not want a prognosis, just what he needed to do, but he had a malignant pleural effusion, so in researching on the internet, I found that this stages him automatically as a IIIB. I see the median survival that they give and I get so discouraged...up until this happened, he has never been sick a day in his life..not even colds. Right before christmas, he was getting out of breath putting ornaments on our tree, so I made him go to the ER and they said that is was pneumonia with an effusion, (that was probably caused by the pneumonia) and they put him on an antibiotic. They wanted to keep him, but at that point we had no insurance and he refused to stay. When he did not get any better, we went to my Dr. the day after Christmas and to make a long story short, he was admitted to the hospital and had 2 liters of fluid drained off of his lung. We got the bad news the next day that there were cancer cells found in the fluid. They found one tumor in the right lung. He had a VATS talc pleurodecis done 1/24 and that sealed the lining of the lung (well, was 90% successful..he has a small leak) and now the fluid will not be able to build up again. His CT Scans of his internal organs, his brain and bone scans all came back clean. If it was not for the Malignant effusion, they could have operated.

He just had his 3rd chemo treatment (Carboplatin/Taxol every 21 days) this past Monday. He gets a little nauseous (controlled by Reglan and Zofran) and is extremely fatigued...he had some really good days and some really bad days over the course of the 3 weeks until it is time to go again.

They did a chest xray a couple of weeks ago as he had developed a cough and it was not pneumonia (Tim thinks it was because he finally quit smoking)...but the Onc. did say that the remaining effusion had gotten a lot smaller. His blood cell counts have bounced back good and she says the lung sounds good. ...I am hoping that the effusion getting smaller is a good sign that the chemo is working. He has been such a trooper through all of this. Monday when we were waiting to go through, another guy came to check in and we heard him say it was his first treatment. Tim filled up with tears and I thought that he was feeling bad for himself and he said no, I just heard that guy and I feel so bad for him..I remember the first time not knowing what to expect.

I on the other hand am a mess....I am so scared of losing him. I am trying to focus on all the survivor stories I have heard and put the "statistics" out of my mind, but it is so hard. I wish I never read any of it.

Sorry this is so long, but I needed to let it out and you all are the only ones that truly understand my feelings...my friends say they do, but until you experience this yourself, you have NO CLUE.

Thanks for being here....it is SO appreciated !


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Welcome to our group (wish you didn't have to be here) If you read my profile, you see my husband is stage IV NSCLC. No doctor has ever given him a prognosis. We act very much like this will be beaten. It makes no sense to act otherwise.

Even if you are healthy, each day is a gift. As has been said so very often on this site, only God knows when - not the drs and maybe not our bodies.

Get the best possible treatment, stay proactive, but think and act positively.


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Kathy -

Welcome. I, too, wish you didn't have to be here, but you couldn't have come to a better bunch of folks!

I remember after my diagnosis last July - I couldn't look at my kids with out crying. Emotionally, I was a wreck. Time does make it easier. I found comfort in writing on this message board - even if I don't know medical info, etc. I would try to send a comforting word. It, in reality, helped me.

As for the man your husband saw just starting his chemo - I found out a lady from my church was about to start chemo. She had another type of cancer and was having a different treatment. We really didn't know one another, but I just called her one day (just so happened to be the day she was starting chemo) and we talked and talked. I felt so great just to be able to share what experiences I had, and she was greatful to talk to someone who had been there. Everyone here has been there.

Keep in touch and lean on us any way you can. Prayers for you and Tim.


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Guest DaveG


As Co-Director of Lung Cancer Survivors for Change, I would like to welcome you here. I am sorry to hear that you have a need to be here. You are very much among friends. These people here are the greatest people in the world.

It is hard to follow what already has been said. The other responses sum it all up as to what we are about here. You have probably already noticed that Terrie, David A, and myself are, in fact, Lung Cancer survivors. That's what it is about here, SURVIVING LUNG CANCER. Lung cancer can be survivable, and is survivable. You will find survivors of all stages and types of lung cancer. You are a member of a very big family and we welcome you.

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So sorry to hear about your husband. My husband also has NSCLC and was diagnosed in June. I am a little ahead of you in all this, but remember so well the shock and devastation in the beginning. It is so hard to bear. Please feel free to send me a private message if you want to. Maybe we can meet in the chat room and vent together. We will all help you and support you.

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Guest MomOTwins40

I wish I hadn't read any of the statistics either, Kathy! I feel for you and your husband, he sounds as if he is exactly where I was a few months ago. I will pray for you and him and all I can say is, keep thinking about the survivors. I just wish I could find some that have survived WITHOUT surgery. All I keep hearing is that surgery is the best way to survive and I can't have surgery (at least according to my doctor, who I dislike heartily). Good luck and God bless.

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Hi, Kathy! My wife has the same thing as your husband. All the things you mentioned are normal for the course.I agree that you should focus on the fact that there are survivors of this disease. Attitude is a big factor, and I think it is up to us caregivers to promote that. This means we have to reach out to other family and friends to get our own support and to release emotions, just as you are doing here with this great family of folks. Blessings to you and your husband. Hang in there. Don

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