Don't want to feel the pain

[knw55]

Each day starts the same for me, the heaviness in my chest, the need to cry and scream for the loss of my dad. I can't cry, I don't know why but I just can't. I have this heavy weight on my chest and my mind says let it all out but I can't. Everytime I think of him I push it to the back of my mind. I don't want to deal with it. I'm thinking of going to counseling, I just feel really alone. Karen

[Eni123]

Karen,

I know this feeling all too well because I can be the queen of distraction. You have to let it out sooner or later. Listen to sad music or just force yourself to write in a journal. Music always helps me brings my emotions to the surface. You may be too overwhelmed right now to process much, but at least try to let these harder feeling sink in. Perhaps counseling would be one of the better options to force you to feel your emotions. After 6 months of bottling things up I'm really considering it as well. Good luck to you.

[MomsGirl]

Oh, Karen, I'm so sorry. But I think what you are experiencing is so normal - I remember posting here six months ago the same thing, that I would wake up every day feeling sick with a huge heaviness in my soul, but I couldn't cry. Waking up was the hardest part of the day, when reality enters your world again. I would just lay in bed and stare out the window with dry eyes, but with such an emptiness and pain in my heart.

I would certainly find someone to talk to if you need it. Grief is something you can't rush, though, and as everyone here told me, it will often come in waves, when you least expect it.

We're here if you need us.

[Nick C]

It's tough.

Give yourself time.

Believe me, it's a rough rocky road, and no one likes being on it.

I'm so sorry.