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Just a Quickie Update


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At least I *think* it's going to be a quickie...but one never knows when I get going! :shock:

Mom's still at home as of right now. There's been some talk again of taking her back to the hospice facility, though, and some disagreement about that. The biggest fear is that my brother won't handle it well. So, I took the proactive approach to that and called him last night and sat and talked to him about it all. I think we all tend to treat my brother with kidgloves when it comes to Mom's cancer. He'll forever be her "little boy" and he's always felt like the "protector" of the first three women in his life. But, at this point I just have to treat him like the adult he is (and yes, he's older than me, *I'm* the baby of the family! :lol:

It turns out that he wants what all of us do; that being what MOM wants for herself. Our conversation turned mostly to trying to figure out if what she wants has truly changed...or if the disease progression is causing it. That's harder to determine than we originally thought it would be, though. It is nice to know that we all want the same thing so there should be a minimum of arguement about those things as we get further along.

Mom, physically, is in the dumps. She's rarely out of bed now and her tailbone's showing the signs of it. I'd had my stepdad get her a "donught" last week, but she's not using it and there's starting to be breakdown. She's just not comfortable laying any other way than on her back, though, so I'm not sure what we'll do about that.

All that being said...she's still here and still fighting...somehow. She's not eaten more than half a banana a day for over a month and drinks just sips of water. I'm not sure how her body hasn't given up on her yet with so little going in...but somehow it has. We're treasuring the moments of lucidity and *trying* to laugh off the moments that aren't so lucid...and praying that somehow we can manage to keep her home until the end if that's what she wants. It appears, afterall, that Mom will indeed get to see Mother's Day, her 22nd wedding anniversary to my stepfather, and two full years from diagnosis.......all on May 13th this year!

As far as I go...we're done with the school year on May 30th, then I'm off to find a summer job to keep the money coming in. Baby boy is growing by leaps and bounds and is kicking hard enough at 25 weeks to be able to not only feel the kicks on the outside, but see them, too! I'd forgotten how much fun it is (unless it's 2am and I'm trying to sleep!) to get to feel a baby moving around so much inside.

Hope this finds you all well and enjoying late spring and starting to look forward to summer!

Much love and many prayers...

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Sounds like your mom could benefit from Tegederm on the tailbone area. It's an adhesive barrier that will help prevent bedsores. Try a pillow under her knees, too. it may help take the pressure off that spot. Other than that, just get her to shift position from one side to the other as frequently as possible. They told us to change Dad's position every 2 hours, but it was hard to do. We just did the best we could.



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Hi Missy,

My heart just breaks when I read about your mom. You kids are such a blessing to her. I just pray that she can stay at home with her family.

Prayers to you Missy and for that little bundle of joy you are carrying.


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Thanks for the update. I hope that you come to the right solution for your mother. There are also some adhesive pads that you can buy for the tailbone that will help if the donut isn't. At least they help with the rub. Also one of those foam eggcrate mattresses is good too. If you get any free home care services and get a hospital bed there is a special air filled mattress that could be supplied also. Your mom is a real trooper. Keep up the strength and all the best. Heather

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What a pillar of your family you are, Missy. I am glad there are lucid moments to share still. You know we are here to accompany you on this walk you are on. I only wish there was more to do than merely hold your hand via cyberspace. My thoughts and prayers are sent to your whole family.


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