myrnalu Posted May 17, 2007 Share Posted May 17, 2007 I had a friend tell me today that I should write down my wishes and keep them for when i get really sick.Like where i want to be and who i want to care for me.She said You dont want to be in a nursing home right? Made me really depressed as im not looking forward to making those kind of plans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted May 17, 2007 Share Posted May 17, 2007 (((Marie))), I'm sure your friend meant well. It seems people just don't know what to say. They either say nothing about cancer or they go overboard with advice. I sure didn't and still don't know what to say even though I've been a caregiver and a part of this family for a long time now. I love reading your profile because it is so positive... Yay you. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muriel Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 Oh Marie, that's too bad. Your friend was probably trying to help. Although, that's advice that you probably don't need - I'm sure you know that at some time you do need to make those plans. We all do, cancer or no cancer. Sorry it made you depressed. It would have done that to me, too. Sorry you missed chat Tues. night. (Or did you arrive after I left?) Muriel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 My thought from having walked down that road is stay positive about things. do have the talk IF AND WHEN the time comes. I personally hope that the time comes when you are old and gray and not suffering from anyhting except Old age. This means a lot of great years to come ahead of you. Sometimes the message gets garbled between the brain and the mouth, and it does no come out right. PRAYERS AND HUGS For SUNSHINEY DAY tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nova Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 "With friends like that, who needs enemas?".... Some of the words that come out of people's mouths sometimes.....Lordy, Lordy! I'm sure she meant well too, but that's not something I would want anyone to say to Harry or I either.... Take care of yourself, and as far as "making plans" goes, I'd tell her you've already decided that you've chosen the Bahamas, surrounded by a bunch of handsome pirates, feeding you grapes, while you listen to the surf roll in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daddyslittlegirl Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 I'm sorry you are depressed right now. I hope through that you are finding a way to stay positive. I'm sure what she was referring to is that you don't want to go in to a nursing home when your 90, right??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 I think I might have told her, "hmmm, I'm thinking of one plan in particular right now, but it involves your future not mine. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ernrol Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 Marie, My answer has always been “I will have plenty of time for things like that after I beat this disease” I wanted to spend 100% of my time on beating my cancer. So forget what they said and get in a happy mood. Laughter heals Stay positive, Ernie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myrnalu Posted May 18, 2007 Author Share Posted May 18, 2007 Thank You all,I needed the lift.Feeling better now.I know she meant well,It just got me thinking.And I guess we all get a little down with this disease.We never know what lies ahead.I guess I like being in denial. Love You Guys Marie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiredmom959 Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 Tell your friend you'll do what she suggested, and she should do the same. Neither of you know exactly what's in store for you, no one does!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen1 Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 Marie, I'm sure your friend meant well, but sometimes people don't "hear" what they are saying and how insensitive it is. You might say something like "yeah, you know I've been thinking about that. What did you put on your list? Maybe you can help me so I don't leave anything out." Everyone one of us has the right to get hit by a freight train tomorrow..... Hugs to you! I read your profile, you are such a positive person! Thinking of you, Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 Marie, She's right. Of course, if she hasn't done the same for herself, she's only half right. Do it now, while you AREN'T sick, but don't sign things without knowing what they are. You may have a DNR if you're in the end stages of whatever, but if you've undergone surgery to get "the girls" where they used to be and are bleeding, you sure as heck want someone to save you... Read it ALL, I still refuse to fill out the living will... That said, I DID go and have my will drawn up about three months after surgery. You'll feel a weight lift when you know that's taken care of - whether a beer truck mows you down tomorrow or the Heaven Welcome Wagon comes for you at 105! Don't fixate on the negative, but realize the obvious - NO ONE lives forever. Planning for the "after" doesn't mean you're giving up, it means you're thinking ahead so someone else doesn't have to. Take care, and buck up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted May 19, 2007 Share Posted May 19, 2007 I apologize for the thoughtlessness of this friend, Marie. You have come a LONG way from when you first posted here. Please don't let the ignorance of one take you down. Make the plans you feel the need to make................THEN go on living life!!!! Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geri Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 This may put the smile back on your face.......we got a cleaning lady when I was first dx, a tiny little small town woman who just didn't think before speaking (and still doesn't). After meeting me she got talking, "gee, you're the 8th person I've worked for that's had cancer and only one's still alive I shot back with "hopefully now you know two" and left the room real quick before I burst out laughing ~~~ she had no idea what she had just said. I have laughed about this so often, it was a thoughtless remark on her part but the laughter has lasted over 5 years - bless her Take comfort in the fact that your friend has no more idea how long she's going to live than any cancer survivor does, are her papers in order? Don't fret about it, Geri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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