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No more pain


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So much pain to deal with, yet so much good to make us smile. Cancer is a terrible, awful disease. But I wouldn't trade the time I had these last two months for anything. What a blessing to be surrounded by people who love you...

Rainbow, you just said a mouthful! I had (lied) and told my therapist that I would give up even ever having known my mother to avoid the pain that I feel...you know what?? I wasn't telling the truth! I wouldn't give up any part of my life with her, cancer or no cancer.

I FEEL for you soooooo much as I lost my mother young, in within almost a year of diagnosis so I get it. I send love to you!!!!! I send hugs to you!!!!


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Thank you all for your posts and PMs over the past week - this site has sustained me more than I can ever express.

Dad's burial and memorial service were yesterday and he was there, no doubt about it. We had him cremated as requested and laid him to rest with his own father who passed away 10 years ago. A small graveside tribute with just family...it was beautiful.

Then we went on to the church for an incredibly moving memorial - over 500 people in attendance, all of whom had been touched by my father. Patients, friends, colleagues and family all brought together by this incredible man. His college friend eulogized him as a great big puppy dog full of love, and that pretty much sums up Dad to a tee. The three of us and mom all had a chance to say a few words and I was just so moved by the love in that sanctuary.

Aunt and uncle hosted a beautiful reception afterwards and everyone seemed to come. I had thought I would feel anti-social and stay away, but I actually ended up enjoying myself. We all swapped "Dougie stories" and looked at pictures and drank wine and ate good food, just as Dad would have wanted. We joked that were he there, he would have found the nearest couch and taken a nap, even in the middle of the party. :)

So today we start figuring out how to make life go on. This is going to be the hardest part. "Normal" no longer applies.

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