tjrasMOM Posted November 16, 2007 Author Share Posted November 16, 2007 OK, it's been a while since I've been on (a while for me is a week or so). I never met with her oncologist because Mom had an appointment with her pulmonary dr. (the one who is way TOO frank and matter-of-factly)...and he completely changed his attitude. She had told her oncologist (at the last appt) that she wasn't asking for false hopes....just hope. Maybe it was just an off day for him as someone mentioned. But I think he then later talked to the pulmonary dr. When Mom had her check-up last week, her pulmonary dr. said, "Well, you look GREAT! I mean, you couldn't be any healthier. Everything looks fantastic. Except for of course, the cancer, you are a very healthy woman......So, I won't need to see you again for a couple of months." I don't know why his attitude was so flippin' positive, but I'm taking it & running with it! So is my mom. =) She did meet with her oncologist again this week for a blood test to monitor the coumadin. He once again mentioned the statistics. Told her they give stage IV patients 12 months without treatment and around 36 months with treatment. She wasn't depressed as she had been before, but she said to me that night, "You know, I don't care about those d*** numbers and I really wish they'd stop giving them to me...." I told her to tell them exactly what she just said to me. She doesn't want them & doesn't need them! OK!! We KNOW what the books say!!!! For crying out loud.....WHO CARES??? And how does it help HER or any other patient!????? =) So, that's what I might throw in there when I go with her to her next appointment. And here's something.....so, my wild mother has always been very physically strong. Tom-boy until she had me, played tackle football, has no issues with using and abusing power tools to remodel her own home, etc. So, last night we go to "skate night" for my daughters' elementary school. Mom is on Coumadin. She should NOT get injured, RIGHT? Well, tell that to a very stubborn, young 59-year old woman who is trying to have some fun! Not only did she skate, she fell 4 times on her tailbone. Every time I tried to tell her that she was making me very nervous, she just ignored me & went back out. I can try to protect her, but I will NEVER stand in her way of living life to the fullest. I love her SO MUCH! So, so very much. Gawd, is she awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recce101 Posted November 16, 2007 Share Posted November 16, 2007 That's great news! As far as statistics are concerned, I think half the people on the planet are fully aware of my disgust when I read of doctors quoting such statistics without being very specifically asked and without any caveats, or "giving" someone x-number of months. The gall! But I've posted enough on that subject here and at onctalk.com, and I don't want to get started again. I agree, your mom is awesome! Aloha, Ned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patti B Posted November 16, 2007 Share Posted November 16, 2007 God, your mom is AWESOME!!! Kudos to her for having fun!! Hope all continues to go well for the both of you! Hugs - Patti B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tjrasMOM Posted November 16, 2007 Author Share Posted November 16, 2007 I can't find it now when I go back, but one of the posts above asked if Mom could go on one of the other drugs....Tarceva? There is one chemo drug that only targets the cancer. It does not affect her good blood cells (is it tarceva or another name??) Anyways, she was not a candidate for this drug because of the fact that the main tumor was attached to her airways. The tumor was blocking a major airway and in some patients like her, it could be fatal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Fell on her butt 4 times and kept on going? Your mom sounds pretty awesome to me too. It is good to hear the pulmonolgist is more upbeat now. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janehill Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 First off, excellent news about your mom's improved spirit and the focus on the positive from the Pulmonary doc. As for the Oncologist, please do encourage her to simply tell him that stats are only appreciated when they're requested. I am all for honesty - even brutal honesty from an experienced physician, because as individuals we all have a right to hear as much as we desire about our health. But for him to continue to toss ugly stats to your mom, knowing she doesn't request them or find them helpful is really disturbing and mean. I'd imagined he was more tuned into your mom and was respectful previously - maybe not so. My mom's Oncologist was nothing but honest but NEVER offered a single bit of bad news or statistic until he was asked. Further, the guy would offer things up like telling my mother not to make up her mind on dying since she could live years and years on Tarceva and get really tired of waiting to die. I think mom's doc had the perfect balance. No talk of anything but what we needed to do, offered up alternative plans and ONLY provided grim realities if asked. And even then, he was quick and earnest to follow up with the reminders that individual people can fall anywhere outside of a statistic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I'm glad to hear that your mom's pulmonologist seems to be more upbeat now. My mom has dealt with medical personell who haven't been very sensitive either (the PA told her that she wanted to make sure she was comfortable for whatever time she had left--SHEESH!). I still think talking to the Onc might be useful. It can also be important to remember that they struggle with what to tell patients and how too. I love the fact that your mom was skating and falling on her rear--I think that's the attitude that will beat this! Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandyswa Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I am so glad things are going better for yall. Yall have a hard time. hugs Brandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I sure don't like that doctor. Get a better one! When I was first diagnosed my primary care doctor told me there was no sense in sending me to the surgeon because the PET scan showed that my cancer had spread to two lymph nodes besides the nodule in my upper right lung. I BELIEVED HER! Thank God that I had my friends with me who DID NOT take her word as fact! They went to the social worker and got me an appointment with the surgeon. He had me to undergo concurrent chemo and radiation for six weeks. I then had surgery followed by adjuvant chemo. That was in July, 2005. All of my scans have by the Grace of God been clear since. I have learned that you have to be assertive when it comes to your own health care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recce101 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 "carolhg" ...Thank God that I had my friends with me who DID NOT take her word as fact! They went to the social worker and got me an appointment with the surgeon... Another example of the many things a good social worker on the hospital staff can accomplish. The essence of their job is to KNOW THE SYSTEM and help people navigate it, regardless of their financial status. Aloha, Ned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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