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The "Year of Firsts"


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Tomorrow will mark one year since I lost my sister to lung cancer. As I complete the "year of firsts", I'm finding that the most difficult "first" is the anniversary of her death. Reliving the memories of Thanksgiving a year ago is more heartbreaking than I could have imagined.

My BIL and nephew planned a ski vacation together so they would not be at home during the holidays. We surrounded ourselves with houseguests in hopes of keeping our minds off of our sadness. Now, the house is quiet again, and I think of nothing but Maura, and miss her so terribly. They say "time heals all wounds", but I know it will take a lot longer than one year.

All I can do is hope that sometime in the immediate future, a miracle will happen, and some form of cure will be found. I refuse to give up hope, and will continue to try to raise funds for LUNGevity Foundation in Maura's memory. I want the "Introduction Forum" to be a Forum of the past.

Thank you, Friends, for letting me vent. Ellie

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yeah Firsts suck and seconds suck and third s suck and It is a vicious cycle!! Big hugs and Warm fuzzy blankets For Ellie and Bruce from Randy right down the road. :( (((((((((((((Ellie and Bruce)))))))))))))) :)

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I'm so sorry that you are having a difficult time right now. I can relate. It was also my first without my Dad. Like your brother in law, I, my mom, and my sister did something completely different this year. We went on a 7 Day Cruise. It was part avoidance and part needing a break from the difficult year we just had. It was still hard for me at times throughout the trip but I am glad we did it. I don't think I would have been able to handle Thanksgiving at home. Here's to wishing that Christmas is a little easier


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I am so sorry, Ellie. LC leaves everyone left in its wake wounded and scarred. Time, well, it doesn't heal all wounds. It just makes the hurt less acute, that's all. Fred and I have lost many loved ones to cancer and though time has marched on, the wounds can still be very raw. May you find some peaceful moments during this holiday season approaching.

Much care and many hugs are sent your way.


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As the others said time doesn't heal but in time we just learn to cope better. There will always be a hole in our lives without the ones we love by our side.

I try to keep busy. God knows I have enough to do right now but nothing stops the memories of what was happening 5 years ago on this day and the days to come. I can be doing good then out of the blue one small memory or a song or something someone says and I am a basket case.

Yes it takes a lot longer than one year, it takes a lot longer than 5 years too I know now. I just ask God each day to give me what I need to make it through the day. I guess what I need are tears and memories because I sure have a lot of those right now and I'm sure you do too as do all of us here.

Maybe someday as you said we won't need this place to grieve over loved ones but until that day I am sure glad we have it. May everyone one of us have a blessed Christmas and feel our loved ones close by.

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Thank you, All, for your kind words of support.

I got through yesterday (the first anniversary) just barely. Actually I had to spend the day as an out patient getting a basil cell cancer removed from my face. As much as a pain in the bu++ that was, at least it took my mind (somewhat) off of the date.

Once again, I appreciate you all for your continuing support and friendship. Ellie

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