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I knew it was coming UPDATE


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We met with my mom's doctor yesterday...truly expecting it to be a horrible meeting. He told my mom that she needs a little "break" from chemo, yet discussed hospice. A little break? Part of me is glad he didn't crush her spirits, but part of me is upset because he knows the truth. Maybe, just maybe, he thinks it is possible to do another round of chemo? That would be her fifth line treatment. I'm not sure what to think now.

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Hi Carrie - my mom's doctor said the same thing - but my mom insisted on chemo and the doctor said ok, small chance it would work for the liver mets - one last try - this was her fifth line treatment as well. I'm not telling you what to do, but I kind of feel like I pushed her to try the fifth line treatment - she drove to chemo Tuesday, and died Monday - I'm worried that it (the chemo) may have caused her to die earlier than she may have if she went in hospice, she may have had more time. I will never know, but I wish she would have been pain free and not chemo sick during that last week of her life. Sorry to be blunt, but I want you to know what I went through, maybe it will help, but ultimately it's your mom's decision. My thoughts are with you, you can PM me anytime.

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First off, I'm very sorry you found yourself here.

I always took the approach with my mom that I would first help her sort all the info and the realities of her situation. And then secondly support her.

A break is fine...when the time comes for mom to evaluate post break...ask what it is she hopes to gain, and then support her in asking the doctor if her expectations are reasonable.

Maybe that's the most gentle for all.

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Carrie,

I'm pretty much on the same page as Steph's comments. My husband kept pushing and pushing for more treatment in some hope that it would chase the cancer back one more time. (I did support his choices and was glad he did the treatments.) He also had severe SOB and pleural effusions issues. The last two lines of treatment, although easy on him, didn't change those issues at all. Like Steph's Mom, my husband did chemo on a Tuesday and passed that Friday.

This stinks and I'm sorry for all of you. Maybe the break was a suggestion to have your Mom think about whether she really wants to pursue more treatment.

It gets pretty fuzzy at this stage of the illness and decisions become very hard to make.

Hugs,

Welthy

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Carrie,

I have NO idea what to tell you. Please continue to know that you are in my prayers. I took the kids to Tonya's a few days, and was beginning to wonder, as I passed by your house each day, where you were with this cancer booger.

May you know God's peace.

Jen

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((((Carrie)))

I have no real advice for you - just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and will remember you and your mom in my prayers. Cancer just sucks so much and I hate it!!!

What a wonderful daughter you are.

Hugs - Patti B

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