BethAnn Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Hello Friends, My name is Beth Ann, I'm 35 yrs old, from Ohio. I'm new to this message board as my Mom was just diagnosed with Small Cell Lung Cancer on Thursday, November 20th, after a mediastinoscopy and a lung needle biospy. On Wednesday, November 26th, she was also diagnosed with this cancer advancing to the bone in her spine. We started Radiation on the 26th and now we are heading into the Chemo phase. I came here to find out what to expect, how to cope and how to help my Mom, I love her so much and I would do anything in the world to help her right now with the pain, the nausea, and the fear. I am acting as her caregiver and have decided to take a long sabatical from work. I feel my place is to be right beside my mom through this all. If any of you have any advice, please I ask you to share with me. The doctors told Mom, the time line for stage 4 SCLC is 10-11 months on average, I can't accept this and I must help her beat this time frame. I need my Mom, she is only 60 yrs old and I don't want to lose her. She is my world, my Mother, my best friend, I'm having alot of trouble accepting this and I pray to God daily that he will help my Mom. I grieve for all of the cancer patients and I pray for each of you daily. Her brain scan and her liver scan came back okay. If you have anything to offer, please feel free to advise me. I wish you all the best of everyday left with your loved ones, as I treasure each moment with my Mother and entire family and friends. This has really taught me alot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 BethAnne, sorry about your mom. My wife is 66 and presently is 14 months from diagnosis and doing fine. Her lung cancer went to her bones, and the chemo/radiation has taken care of it for now. It is best to take a day at a time, but to have goals to work toward. It is great you want to be your mom/s caregiver. As such, you need to take care of yourself as well -- keep healthy both in body and mind -- so you can be the most help to your mom. Seek out someone you can talk with on a regular basis to vent your frustrations, fears, etc. And this board is a great place to vent as well, plus get support and info. Best to you. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Welcome to the site, I am sorry that you need to be here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerbil runner Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Beth - you and I are in almost the same boat. I'm 35, mom is 59. She had a hard time getting diagnosed - 2 bronchoscopies were inconclusive, she had to have a stent put in her bile duct, and the brushings from that were inconclusive. Finally, needle biopsy confirmed SCLC. It IS scary. But some people do survive this cancer. Make every day count, and work on getting a remission. I like to think that if we can get Mom into remission, she'll have time to wait for the next great cancer treatment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Hello, BethAnn, I commend you for taking a sabbatical from work. I found when my elderly parents came up to take care of me post surgery and during chemo, we forged a whole new level of relationship. It sounds like you already have a good relationship with your mom. Bless you for putting her care first. Welcome to this group, where not only can you find friendship and advice, but also a place to talk to other caregivers about your frustrations and satisfactions. Never mind the statistics and the numbers, though, your mom is an individual and special person, and you will take this battle one day at a time. Savor the small blessings that are around every day, for they ultimately make life worth living and too often get lost in the shuffle. Welcome. God bless and keep all of us. MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 Hi BethAnn, My mother is 60 also with Stage IV non-small cell LC diagnosed in mid Sept. I know how difficult this can be. I don't work (have 3 kids though) thank goodness so I have been with her through this struggle every step of the way. Your mother will really need your support through this. Try to take notes about everything from medications to what the doctors say to how your mother is feeling. I read a great book called " Love , Medicine & Miracles by Bernie Siegel that opened my eyes to a lot of things. You should pick up a copy. My prayers are with you. Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 BethAnn, So sorry you have to be here but beings you must, you are at a great place. There is much knowledge to be learned on this sight. My one piece of advise is to start a medical journal on your mom. Everytime she has scans or x-rays or whatever, always ask and get copies. Read them carefully, and if there is something you don't understand, ask. Keep on top of your mom's drs, know exactly what has occurred and what is going to occur per drs statements. If for some reason you don't agree, tell them and do something about it. Go for second opinions when you don't feel things are right or that more could be done with you mom's treatments. Go to www.blochcancer.org and get a little knowledge there. Good luck and God be with both of you through this journey. what part of ohio, I am from northern ky, right across from cincinnati. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 BethAnn, Welcome, I am so sorry we have to meet under these circumstances, but I'm glad you found us. Being your mother's caregiver is such a wonderful thing for you to do. I could tell from your post that you love each other very much, and I know this must be devastating news for you both. The one thing we have here, is that we all understand. Unfortunately, we've all been through these same feelings and some of the same situations. But the one thing we get from that besides empathy is knowledge and support. Know that whatever you are feeling is normal, and although I wish we could do something to take the hurt away, sharing your situation with others helps lighten the burden. I think you've gotten a lot of good advice. I especially stress the importance of keeping notes on everything. Write down questions that you have and that come up, and take that question list with you to the doctor. Whatever you do, remember that the doctors work for you. They sometimes seem so intimidating because they are medical professionals, but if your doctor isn't on the same page as you, willing to fight for and with you for a cure, isn't humane and caring enough, know that you care and need to fire them and get a new one. Along the same lines, I highly recommend anyone with cancer get second opinions and recommendations and suggestions from various doctors. Two minds are always better than one. Other than that, just try and stay proactive on all fronts. Make sure mom gets plenty of water and juices. One of the most aggrevating problems for chemo patients is dehydration. Make sure to get good nutrition. Know that immune systems are weakened by chemo, so stay away from people who have the flu or are sick. This also goes for you. You need to take care of yourself so you are strong enough to care for mom. Try and get sleep (easier said than done, but for me, triazolam is my new best friend), keep your strength up, try and stay positive. SCLC reacts very well with chemo, and remission is quite common, not just once but multiple remissions are possible. Ignore the statistics, they are based on averages, not individuals, and definitely not your mom. Having up days and down days are normal, but whatever happens, we are here for you. Anti-depressants are also very common, there is nothing wrong with getting support anyway possible. This is too much to try and carry alone. Have faith, and take one day at a time. Greet each moment as a blessing and a gift from God. Live life with no regrets. Not one of us, healthy or LC patient is guaranteed a tomorrow, so know that each day you send together is to be cherished. I will be praying for you. Carleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 Hi BerhAnn...Welcome , so sorry to hear your Mom has LC. nMy Mom was diagnosed w/ Sclc too... I am offerring you my suport! I did the samething you did ...I took care of my Mom. I couldn't imagine life without her either. I hope you will get helpful info and support here. I wondered how they diagnoised the spine mets? My Moms spine ha arthritis it lights up? Email me if you think I can help. God bless you and your Mom Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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