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Hi! My name is Teri and I have come here to find support, stories, help...virtually anything that might provide me some guidance. My mom was diagnosed in October with Stage 4 NSCLC adenocarcinoma. She has been a long time smoker. She doesn't have any lung symptoms at this time which is good. She has mets to her femurs, right humerus, spine, and ribs. She has undergone radiation and few different types of chemo. She is in pain. She was active and healthy until July when she started having pain in her right leg and arm, when physical therapy didn't work, they did x-rays and by October she had her diagnosis. I am having a hard time seeing my mom sit on the couch, not being able to do the things she would like to be doing, not wanting to see me and my family very often or for very long (they are 10, 7, and 4). I feel so bad for my dad taking care of her so wonderfully and attentively while watching his beloved wife slip away slowly and painfully. I ache for my children not to have their wonderful nana the way she was with them, the way she may never be again. What can i say, I want my mom! I don't want to lose her but it breaks my heart every time I see her. We missed Thanksgiving and Christmas with them but were able to be together for Easter-that was wonderful. She would tell me to suck it up, she has no expiration date stamped on her head, etc but I am at a loss to make lemonade without any lemons right now. I guess, I just want someone to listen or even just to type this into cyberspace. I want to know how to continue to help her, help my dad, help my kids, help myself right now and for what may lie in the future. I will go on to read the other posts and hope I will find what I am looking for. Thank you for listening to my story!

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Hi, Teri. Most of our mainland members have probably turned in for the night, and you may not hear from any of them until Monday morning. But it's still Sunday evening out here in the middle of the Pacific, so welcome to the group!

Your love for your mom comes through loud and clear, and the fact that she's not up to much visiting right now is I'm sure very difficult for you. I hope the radiation will relieve some of her bone pain — it does take a while for it to be effective, but that may allow her to cut back on pain medications with their many side effects. Do you know the names of the chemo agents she has received, and whether her lung tumors have responded to treatment?

If you read through the profiles at the bottom of our messages, and browse the posts in the My Story forum, you should find some reason for hope. We have a number of members who received a stage IV diagnosis several years ago and are currently doing quite well. There's plenty of variation from one patient to the next, even within the same tumor type and stage group, and your mom sounds like a tough lady. Best wishes and Aloha,


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She would tell me to suck it up, she has no expiration date stamped on her head

teri, I hear you. You want your mom back the way she was. I'm 65 years old with two grown children and three grandchildren. I'm eighteen months out from dx and am gradually coming back to being the person I was. I'm not quite there yet. If you can, think of this time as temporary. Mom sounds like she's had a lot of treatment and we are never prepared for how long it takes to get over the treatments. The cancer and agents for fighting it take a tremendous toll on our bodies. But I look to others in my life who have never gone into remission or who have had cancer recur two even three times and are living their lives. They are my heroes and my focus to get through the down days.

Judging by the quote of what you know your mom would say to you, she's a tough lady with a sense of humor. She needs you to get where you need to in order to walk beside her in this fight. It is a battle but it can be won. Stick with us. We'll help.

Judy in Key West

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Hi Teri. I am sorry to hear about your mom that you obviously love dearly. Yes the treatments for this can really kick our butts and our normal self seems to go on vacation. But it is the treatments doing it so just remember that. Your mom does sound like one tough lady. Prayers that she does have some recovery to her old self and that you can all spend more quality time with her. You will find tons of support and information here from many kind people who have walked in both your and your mother's shoes. Please take care and keep us posted on how everyone is doing.


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Hi Teri,

Welcome and sorry to hear about your mom. Everyone reacts differently and there is no one way fits all, it's Lung (learn as one goes along) Cancer 101. You mentioned she was active and healthy until July when she started having pain in her right leg and arm. Is the pain under control because pain certainly changes the playing field in terms of trying to have an active life. Sometimes it takes a while to get used to the new normal. The best thing you can do is to be there for her/dad, offer help/support/encouragement and honor your mom's request. As far as if it was you, your mom would tell you to suck it up. Bottom line is everyone thinks they would know what to say/do etc but until one walks that journey they really don't. Sounds like your mom would benefit from taking to someone, a support group or even a phone buddy. Talking to someone who has been there, done that helps tremendously but of course it's up to mom. Also try living in the now, no one knows what the future lies. Tell mom that I have Stage IV Lung Cancer (can read my story/journey by clicking on the link below, also read others) and seven years later it has been stable since Dec06 and it is the least of my problems so there is always hope. Stay with us and keep us posted. Hope this helps as well all the advice you have been given. Prayers for the best.


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Welcome Teri

Sorry you found the need to be here but you will get lots of support and information on this site.

Your mom really sounds like a tough cookies and that will do her well in her fight. I believe you said she had radiation to her bones and I know from personal experience that sometimes that makes the bon pain worse for a while.

Be there for her, show her how much you love her. None of us know how much time we or our loved ones have left in this world.

Please keep is posted on your moms progress and let us know how YOU are doing.

Hugs - Patti B.

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