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:cry: March 1, 2010 My husband was diagnosed with squamous lung cancer, It all happened so fast We neither had time to let anything soak in. The family MD had been treating for pneumonia, a trip to urgent care sent us to ER on March 1, The MD called in a pulmonary doctor, she recommended a surgeon, the surgeon tried surgery, found tumor attached to heart, heart went into shock and heart rate went out of this world for about 3 days from the tug on it,The heart doctor scheduled electric shock for the heart but luckily the rate leveled back down the night before shock was scheduled. We were 2 weeks in the hospital at which time the oncologist was called in and radiation started, They tried his first Chemo treatment Wednesday and could only give 1/2 of it because his red blood cells were down, Yesterday was spent at the hospital getting 2 units of blood transfused. I feel like I have lost my best friend, even though I still have him here with me, He's not really here. The doctors have him on antidepressants, anexity, and pain pills, He's weak from not eating, and still doesn't want anything to eat! Drinks 1 ensure a day and I'm really getting worried that, that isn't enough protein for him to gain his strength back especially with these treatments jerking it right back out of him. At times I am really not fit to be his caregiver, because all I can do is go off somewhere and cry, but we're all we each has so I have to try to be strong for the both of us. That is soooo hard to do. I know God is with us, but I'm still only human and can't help the feelings of despair at times. Is there anyone out there with similar experience that has survived these treatments?
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It's bad, it's horrible and I do feel for you. I've been there, it's scary, I know. You WILL get through these days. Take one day at a time, one minute. He will give you strength, let Him.

You've come to the right place for advice, answers, concern, an ear to listen and words of encouragement and knowledge to help.

Tell us more, tell us your names, unload everything you're feeling, we want to help.

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Reading your post, my heart breaks for you. You sound so desperate and alone. Please look around for some kind of support system, even if it is just on the other end of a phone. Many of us have been thru cancer treatment and some have endured other complications as your husband has. But it is hard to do it alone particularly during the time your husband can't really be fully there with you at this stage of the fight. You can also lean on us here. There are people who have been thru similar experiences as caregivers who can help.

Judy in KW

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Welcome. So sorry you're going through this. Mine was early stage, so I haven't gone through most of what your husband is enduring. But I wanted to welcome you, and confirm what the others have said, that there are lots of other caregivers here to give you support.

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Welcome. So sorry you have the need to be here. I had early stage cancer, so I also did not have to go through what your husband is. My nausea was intense and I found that nibbling on something every couple of hours really helped with that. Try differant foods, some of my favorite foods were horrible and stuff I didn't really like tasted great. Watermelon was especially good. Good luck and prayers are on the way!

Dana

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The first throws of the cancer diagnosis are very scary and no one ever is prepared for that jolt.

Having a support system, as Judy has suggested, is crucial. It can offer you a less-alone feeling, and give you a vent for your desperation.

Through all of what you have been through, there are many here who have been either in that same place, or similar. I know that I have. Crying was part of my daily routine - many times. No one is superwoman but just getting as much emotional help that is necessary will help you a lot.

I am so glad that you came here. When my husband was first diagnosed, my heart was heavy and I didn't know what to do - where to turn.

A gentleman who had lung cancer invited me to join an online support group, and it has seen me through the roller coaster ride that cancer can often be.

Barbara

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I am so sorry for what you are going through. I agree that you need a support system. Most of us caregivers will tell you that we began grieving for our loved ones the moment we heard the diagnosis. While it is tempting to say you must be strong for your husband, you have to acknowledge your fears and your feelings. Perhaps the hospital has someone you can talk with, or a caregivers support group. You can come here as well. This board is a good place to express your worst fears and to read stories that being hope. The people here have been through it all and are willing to help. We know how frightening it is so we will be here for you.

Susan

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  • 2 weeks later...

(((hug)))

It is a whirlwind NO, more of a tornado that has turned your worlds upside down...

I'm so sorry you and your husband are going thru this.

It's hard to know what to do and easy to get lost in the emotional roller coaster.

Don't forget to breathe. Write down all your questions. do a little research on treatment options that are out there...have a talk with the oncologist about the treatment plan...and reach out to others....let your families and friends help where they can so that you can spend time with your spouse....connect with other caregivers so that you don't feel so "alone" and you can vent and share information and ask for tips (this is a great place to do that) and share survivor stories with your spouse to encourage and offer hope.

There is always HOPE. Hang onto that...we are here for you. Keep posting. It really does help and we are all here for you.

Blessings and prayers for you both,

KatieB

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Your post took me back to the beginning of my husband's illness. We were also in shock and rushed through treatments quickly because his tumor was on the vena cava causing vena cava syndrome. It was such a whirlwind. This site helped me tremendously and I hope it does the same for you.

It's very important to get your husband to drink fluids. Dehydration decreases the appetite so if you can get more liquids in him his appetite will improve. One thing we did was to buy a lot of fruit Popsicles and that helped with some calories and fluid at the same time.

Hang in there and let us know how things go.

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Hi there,

We all feel for you, and have felt these feelings, no matter what stage our diagnosis was. Cancer is frightening. I don't see by your post where you live. There are Gilda's Club's in the USA and I wonder if one would be by you? Gilda's Club is a free cancer support group that gives support to the care giver, as well as the person with cancer. It's an amazing organization and helped me and my husband through my cancer journey.

To see if one is by you, click on this link, or paste it in your search bar: http://www.gildasclub.org

There's a place on the left side of the home page to look for a club by you. Also, if you contact the American Cancer Society, they may have some support resources too. But I highly recommend Gilda's Club.

Know our hearts and prayers are with you. The proverb that laban has in his signature is one of my favorite bible verses. It gives me great peace. Another one that has helped me is "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Cor. 4:13

Judy in MI

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