ok, here's what happened at my dads wake

[Debaroo]

I don't want to offend anyone. Any of you guys that know me probably know that I have a tendency to use humor to get me through the tough times. My dads wake was no different. Joking around with friends and family, and also hearing stories that I hadn't heard before about Daddy were very healing, indeed.

So, we're at the wake, and I'm talking to some family friends-they really were family-about Daddy, and my sister-in-law comes up to me. She had just paid her respects to my father and said a little prayer, than she came up to me and said "could you do me a favor and tell the funeral director to please remove the hair from your fathers lip."

So, I went over to Dad, and he did, indeed, have a strand of blonde hair on his lip...so, I took it off, as I did this my sister in law sort of let out a little shriek-I then realized what she was thinking...string.

I had to call her on this (I am, after all, me)

ME: "you thought that was a piece of string, didn't you?"

HER: (nervous giggle) YEAH!

ME: "wouldn't it be great...I'd pull on the string, and when someone goes up there I'd say (deep voice, trying to imitate my dad) 'hey, thanks for coming, its great to see ya.' Or make him stick his tongue out.

We were all cracking up.

My parents dear friend that lives across the street from them, bakes these cookies that my dad LOVED, Greek Christmas cookies, and she felt so bad that she didn't get to bring some over to my dad before he passed. So she brought one, wrapped in a napkin, and asked my mom if she could tuck it into the coffin. Mom said yes. I said that we should put it in Dads hand and rub some of the powdered suger on his mouth. We were cracking up, thinking about what people would think.

Dad would have gotten a kick out of it.

So, those are just a couple of examples. It was actually very nice. As sad as we all were, and as much as we missed Dad, he was with us. It was so nice to reminice about him, and I really heard some funny stories that I had NOT been privy to when he was alive-all just confirming what I already knew, that when you were in a tough spot, you wanted Richie Cuomo on your side. And if you were forthright, and a person of honor, he was there. And his favorite thing in the world was to gather with friends and family, and laugh.

So, Ry, there's your story. Once again, a disclamer, this post was not at all meant to be disrespectful of anyones' beliefs, and especially of my Dad.

Take care, Deb

[J.C.]

Debaroo

You did not offend me, you just made me remember all the

times I used to take my mother to all the wakes she had to go

as she survived most of her big family and most of her friends.

She always wanted to go with me after my father died, because

I always found time for laughter even in the most stressful situations.

When she went in 1974, she was 88+ years old.

And at the funeral parlor on the last day of the wake, we all left and

I was with some friends and my husband on the steps outside

and I was not moving, just talking with those left with me.

My husband ask me '' What are you waiting for?''

I just answered '' Mom, you know how she always have to have

the last word.''

We all realized that she was actually coming with us, and to this

day she is with me always.

We may leave their body, but we keep their spirit with us always.

Hugs

J.C.

[Ry]

What a great story!

Here's one of mine:

Prior to my dad passing away, he was doing a lot of reminiscing about his youth and for some reason he got it in his head he wanted to buy fighting cocks. Lord only knows where this came from but I guess when he was young they used to fight these birds and he had always wanted one. Mind you at the time he lived in the city, this was not something he could keep.

One day my mom came home from work and she hears this sound like a rooster crowing. She looks at my dad, he quicky pretends to be sleeping in his chair. She hears it again. She looks at him and says, "You didn't". Yep he did, not one but two, boy and girl so they can make little fighters. He had gone out and bought what he didn't have as a kid.

A couple of days later my father went into the hospital and passed away. So here we are with flippin birds in the basement crowing their heads off. Who shows up but my rich cousin with a casserole. I mean rich. She's sitting there having coffee and the birds start up. She goes, "What was that?" My mom says, "What was what?" "I don't hear anything." We go back and forth like this, trying to act like she's hearing things with completely straight faces. She left and we busted up laughing.

We ended up calling a friend of mine to pick up the birds, she picks them up the day of my dads funeral and drives them in the funeral procession in her pick up. We laughed so hard about his birds being part of the trip to the cemetary.

Another short one: My father had insurance to pay off his car when he died. My mom gets a call from the bank asking for my dad (wondering why he hasn't made a payment). The woman says, "I'm having a hard time reaching Mr. Martin." My mom replies, "You have no idea how hard it's gonna be to reach him."

Thanks Deb, loved your story.

[Fay A.]

Deb, J.C., and Ry,

If I couldn't laugh I couldn't survive. No offense taken by anything you've said...

Ry, my uncle raised ornamental birds...the ones with the tail feathers that could reach 18 to 35 feet long. They would fly up onto the roof of the back porch and sit there with their tail feathers hanging over the edge. Sometimes when "strangers" would come to visit my Aunt and Uncle and Cousins would pretend that these were just typical chickens, and that they had fed them a special diet to get those tail feathers to grow that long. You would be amazed at how many people fell for this.

J.C., I'm absolutely going to have the last word around here. I'm leaving little notes inside things...I must have half a dozen I've put in the Christmas Decorations...if I'm still around this coming December I'll be the one to find them....if I'm not around then others will find them. Notes in books, notes in the closets, in coat pockets,in teapots, in the cups in the China Cabinet...

Deb, I hope that when my time here is over my kids can handle it the way you do. I think my middle son will be able to do so, and hopefully the others will take their cues from him.

We all have our own way of dealing with things...I prefer this way.

[Guest DaveG]

In my 20 years plus with the US Army I attended more than just a few military funerals. Everyone is supposed to be spit and polish, nothing of place, and everything is regimented. At one funeral everything was going smoothly until honor guard had to fire the 3 volleys this is how it went:

Honor Guard Sgt: Lock and load one round, ready fire - bang

Honor Guard Sgt: Lock and load one round Rifleman: Aw shi_ I dropped the round.

[Don Wood]

Humor definitely can be healing, if we let it. Thanks for the reminder. I grew up where they held "wakes" --- some places call it "viewing" -- here they call it "visitation" -- I rather like the latter. Anyway, it is a time for the families and friends to get together, visit, share stories, support each other and -- laugh, as well as cry. So I would not see humor as disrespectful at all. Don

[Guest Karen C]

Deb - cute story - I bet you got your sense of humor from your Dad. I'm sure he is in heaven smiling down on you.

Ry - oh my, unbelievable, your Dad bought chickens right before he died? And too funny about the cousin and the funeral procession. Loved that one, too!

Thanks for making me smile!

Karen C.

[Debaroo]

JC, Ry, FayA, DaveG, Don and KarenC Thank you guys so much for sharing your stories and not making me feel like a freak. Ry-your dad must have gotten a HUGE kick out of those birds being in the procession!!! I could not stop laughing. Its so funny how our loved ones seem to have some of their personality with us, even after they are gone. It is such a blessing.

My Grandfather died last thursday (he was 89 years old), so there we were on Friday-another wake and funeral. It all seemed like so much. My mom said that she thinks my dad took Grandpa, so that we would not have to worry about him so much-Grandpa was in alot of pain, he had a disease called Padgets disease, has had it for most of his life-and it is very painful. I asked her if she though Dad had that kind of power already, I mean, you'd think that he'd have to work up to something like that.

Then I was talking to my dear friend, Jacqui, and she was saying that right after her mother died, her sister-who had been trying to get pregnant for years-got pregnant right after her mothers death. Then we were talking about how this happens alot, we both knew of people that were trying to conceive and did so after the death of a loved one.

So, Jacqui said, "well, maybe when you die, you are given the gift to either add someone to the world, or take someone away-just one time."

And I said "Sure, Dad takes Grandpa-he couldn't take, like BIN LADEN, or someone evil like that, he had to take Grandpa."

Its funny how life works, just when you think you got a hold of things, something throws you into a whirlwind.

My mom was watching my little one, Julia (3), and Julia turned to her and said "so, Meema, Poppys still dead, huh?"-Mom could not stop laughing, and I said, Julia must be thinking- like, 'man, that guy still hasn't resurrected himself, huh? Whats it been, like, a month-whats taking so long."

Oh, well, what are you gonna do. Take care, guys. Deb

[Snowflake]

Now Deb, WHY would your dad want to take Bin Laden? I'll bet that they have to spend "quality time" with their choice...and I don't think Bin Laden will have the same "ticket destination", so to speak...

I can see your dad taking someone to play cards or fish with, but WHAT would he have in common with a murdering terrorist?

[Ry]

Too funny Debaroo. I love your stories.

[cathy]

Deb,

you are so beautiful!!

[Guest hhamadyk]

Debaroo & Ry- I just had to tell you that your stories totally cheered me up. Especially the one about dad's favorite cookie at the wake and the fighting cocks. I use humor as a way to deal with the curve balls that life throws at me too. If you can't laugh about something, the what do you have? My mom recently had some bad news regarding her cancer and I really needed a good laugh. Thanks for being so special and sharing your stories.

Heather

[teresag]

My sweet father was nearly bald for as long as I can remember. He used to love to joke about not being able to do anything with his hair, or about going to see his "stylist" when he needed a haircut. When Dad was dying, Mom made arrangements with the funeral home up front. My sister and I were looking over the price estimates prepared by the funeral home, and I burst out laughing. My sister thought I must be crazy to find the funeral home paperwork funny, but I had found the part that said, "Hair styling: no charge." Yeah, no kidding!