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JoanneH

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Hi.  My name is Joanne and my husband of 45 years was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer, non small cell.  It was naturally a horrible shock for both of us.  He had been coughing for months and finally got a chest x-ray.  doctors had been treating him for allergies.  His left lung was mostly clouded and it took a CT scan to see the tumor.  He  had pleural effusion which was drained several times and tested malignant.  He then had a catheter put in and the VNA was coming weekly to drain the fluid.  He had his first chemo session 2 weeks ago and is scheduled for one on the 8th.  His pain is awful and has been treated with many different pain meds.  He currently is on extended release morphine and an antidepressant.  

I wish I was handling this situation better.  He's a terrible patient, does not like taking meds.  I am somewhat disabled, using either a can or walker in the house.  I am used  to him taking care of all things household related.  Most of the time I feel like yelling and just need to vent.  I look forward to reading the forums for information and hopefully support.  Thanks!!

 

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Dear Joanne - that sounds so tough for you both. I can’t be of too much concrete help as I am a patient myself and not in any pain (yet). But I know how frustrating it is to look after someone who does not work with you to make it easier. I have been there for decades myself.  Please make sure you look after yourself, and try to reach out and get at least some support from outside - friends, family etc. It is entirely natural to be angry, resentful and scared, so find people who can listen and who have your back. Always know that it is the disease and the difficult situation, not him, not you. Never blame yourself - you are doing the best you can. The last thing you need is mutual resentment and wear on a long and solid marriage. 

all the best wishes, Rikke

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Hi Joanne,

So sorry to hear about your husband and his cancer.  I’m sure this is a tough time for both of you but please know a few things.  First, lung cancer is not an automatic death sentence like it once was.  Second as you learn more about your husband’s treatment you’ll have questions.  Feel free to bring them here. Our group has undergone a wide array of therapeutic treatments and many here can answer questions from their own experience.  Finally, we have a forum that may be helpful for you it’s called The second is our “Caregivers Resource Center”.  I’m on my phone now so I can’t give you the URL but if you go to “Home”  and scroll through the forums you’ll see it.  There may be help there for this new and challenging role you’ve taken on.  Good luck and know we’ll be here for you. 
 

Lou

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Joanne,

I wish I had a magic wand to relieve you and your husband from this mayhem. I know. I was a terrible patient and my wife soldiered on.

Can you give us some details about your husband's lung cancer? Do you know where his tumor or tumors are? What are the names of the chemotherapy drugs he is receiving? Have his doctors told you what stage and type of lung cancer your husband has. Stages go from I to IV and types include small cell and non small cell. Non small cell has two further divisions: adenocarcinoma and squamous cell. Letting us know this information may help us answer questions, explain treatment, and help with side effect.

You report your husband is using prescribed extended release morphine. I used that drug for a while after one of my surgeries. Be careful of constipation. One should take over-the-counter medication to "keep things moving". I suggest a daily dose for each day on morphine.

Stay the course.

Tom 

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Hi Joanne,

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis.  LUNGevity has many different support services to help you in your new role as a caregiver. Virtual meetups, mentors, conferences and more.  Connecting with other caregivers can help you feel less isolated and alone. We are here for you. Big hugs.

 

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