A promise I'll try to keep

[Guest NowakowDA]

This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I've had to accept the fact that I may loose my mother to Lung Cancer. That thought has ate at the back of my mind sine I found out that she has a mass on her right lung. Since then, I have not had a full nights sleep. I will dose off for a couple of hours, then get up and check on her. After watching her for a while, I will return to my room and lay in bed and watch TV until I can no longer keep my eyes open. This routine will be repeated several times during the night. Finally, about three or half past three in the morning I will get up.

At first I begged God to let me keep my mother here with me for as long as possible. Now I see what a selfish desire on my part that was. Instead of thinking about what was best for her, I could only think of what I wanted. I believe that I have finally made my peace with what is happening to my mother. Now I ask God that if he must take from me then please let the time she has left with me be as pain free as possible. In return, I promise God that I will try and make her as comfortable as I can and I will try to make her as happy as I can. I do not want my mother to die, but I do not want her to suffer. This pact will not ease the pain I will feel when she dies, but maybe it will allow me to know when the time has come to let her go.

I have told her over and over again that I love her. She is my mother, and even death can not erase this fact. The bond between her and myself will defy death. As long as I walk this earth, a part of her will still live in me.

[Cindy RN]

Those could of been my words 10 yr ago. My own precious mom had nsclc with mets to the brain. I was devastated. NOT my mom!!

Well it was her, on july 5th,1994, she passed on into Glory. I thought it would be be forever for me to see her. nt so true.

7 yr later I too get cancer-sclc. Like Mother like daughter. Quite a legacy.

[Ry]

Sounds like a good pact to me...

Your mother certainly did something right to have such a wonderful son.

Rochelle

[stand4hope]

Don, You are a wonderful, wonderful loving son, and I am sure your mother very much appreciates you sticking by her side. Keep telling her how much you love her - it will help her to fight to win this battle because those are powerful, powerful words. Please keep us posted.

God bless you,

Peggy

[J.C.]

You are doing it the right way.

Hope, you have many many good days with your mother.

I went through something nearly the same, except it was my

husband, all toghther he had 18 months of sickness, but those

months were very happy and full of love and laughter.

They were 7 days at the end, when the pain was bad, but still

they were good days.

Hope all will go well and you never know, hope is still around in the world.

You love your mother it shows and just make the most of each day

for both of you.

Hugs to both. J.C.

[DianeR]

I too, feel the way you do. My father has stage IV NSCLC and does not seem to be responding well to chemo. I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic trying to figure out how I can save my daddy. The scary part is I can't come up with the answers. This has been going on since January 2004 and I am exhausted and worn out. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your mother, because I know exactly how you feel.

Be compassionate and let her know how much you love her every chance you get. Take one day at a time and cherish every moment with her. My dad's pulmonary doc said "Live everyday to it's fullest because NOBODY is guarenteed a tomorrow".

Diane