Guest NowakowDA Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I've had to accept the fact that I may loose my mother to Lung Cancer. That thought has ate at the back of my mind sine I found out that she has a mass on her right lung. Since then, I have not had a full nights sleep. I will dose off for a couple of hours, then get up and check on her. After watching her for a while, I will return to my room and lay in bed and watch TV until I can no longer keep my eyes open. This routine will be repeated several times during the night. Finally, about three or half past three in the morning I will get up. At first I begged God to let me keep my mother here with me for as long as possible. Now I see what a selfish desire on my part that was. Instead of thinking about what was best for her, I could only think of what I wanted. I believe that I have finally made my peace with what is happening to my mother. Now I ask God that if he must take from me then please let the time she has left with me be as pain free as possible. In return, I promise God that I will try and make her as comfortable as I can and I will try to make her as happy as I can. I do not want my mother to die, but I do not want her to suffer. This pact will not ease the pain I will feel when she dies, but maybe it will allow me to know when the time has come to let her go. I have told her over and over again that I love her. She is my mother, and even death can not erase this fact. The bond between her and myself will defy death. As long as I walk this earth, a part of her will still live in me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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