DianeR

Thanks for sharing Lily. It is beautiful and I like to believe those words. Diane

Yes I have. When my girls were little we would go out in the rain and dance in the puddles! It was great fun. (Thank goodness we live on over 3 acres and not too many neighbors saw us!) Diane

I hope this helps some of you. I read this to remind myself this is how my dear dad would want me to live my life. "Remembrance You can shed tears that he is gone, or you can smile because he has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all he has left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see him, or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember him and only that he's gone, or you can cherish his memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back, or you can do what he'd want: Smile, Open Your Eyes, Love and Go On. Author Unknown" My wish is that we can all find some peace in this journey and are able to "Smile, Open our Eyes, Love and Go On". Diane

My heart goes out to you and Keri. I know all to well how the memories come crashing in on the anniversary dates. I understand completely what you meant when you wrote: "With the chill in the air. The leaves starting to turn. The crickets at night. The birds in the morning. The very blue skies this time of year brings. And rememberances of my last days with Mom" My dad passed away Sept. 19, 2004, and not only the date brings memories, but also the change of the seasons. I always think of the song "Wake me up when September Ends". My thoughts are with you during the upcoming days. Take Care, Diane

I have to agree with everyone else here. I saw Flowergirlie's post this morning and was amazed by her strength and kindness. It is people like her that make this board so special! She is truly a treasure to this message board. Flowergirlie, my thoughts are with you and your family. Take care. Diane

Val, You make perfect sense to me. I am definitely not the person I was the day before daddy was dx. I think trying to protect myself from all the hurt and pain of watching my dad go through this horrible journey and then losing him, I lost myself. It has almost been 2 1/2 years now since dad died and I am still working on finding out who I am now. If I keep going I will really begin to ramble, but I did want you to know I understand how you feel. I am at that same place trying to figure out the new me and how to be happy and comfortable with myself once again. Val, I hope you are able to get through the family changes and soon are able to say you feel comfortable in your new life. I always love to read your posts because I can relate to many of them. Take care. Diane

Stephanie, I am just so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. Diane

Nick, I too know what you mean. I would love to say "dad" and hear his voice answer me. I have a phone message he left me that I put on my tape recorder. Every once in a while I play that message just to hear his voice talking to me. Oh how I miss my dad! Nick, I agree with the others that your mom was very lucky to have such a loving and caring son. It shows how much you cared in every message you write. Take care and I hope with time the pain lessens for all of us. Diane

Grace, I am so very sorry for your loss. Carlton was such a fighter and he is now at peace. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Diane

Nancy, I understand the pain you are having with the sale of your dad's house. It does hurt. A year after my dad died my mom had to sell the house because it was just too much house for her to keep up. My parent's lived in their house for 55 years. This was HOME. It was the only home I had lived in before I got married. I thought we would have it forever . My dad was a builder so he had built on to this house. We had the most beautiful stone fireplace in the family room. This house was truely daddy's house and we loved it. I took videos and pictures of our house before mom moved out, but I have been unable to watch or look at them. It is just too painful to know it is not ours anymore. Nancy I do understand and I agree with you "it will always be dad's house". Diane

Frank, I want you to know how much I admire your strength and courage in your fight against this BEAST! I have always read your posts and was so impressed with your attitude for your fight and your compassion to others. Your sense of humor is wonderful and always brought smiles and laughs at times I didn't think I could smile or laugh anymore. I am so glad you have Connie and a wonderful loving family. I am also glad to hear you have found a good hospice team. I pray they get your pain meds under contol and you are once again comfortable. I along with everyone else can't wait to read the next 51 weeks of your entries in this jounal! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Take Care, Diane

Tina, So happy to hear the goood news! Diane

Val, I also watch Grey's. I totally agree with you...those quotes say it all. It has been over 2 years since my dad passed away. I am still trying to figure out how to exist in this world when my dad doesn't. So I guess when she says "that doesn't ever really change"...well, like you said, it says it all! Diane

Lorrie, This is GREAT news. I am so happy that life is good!!! Diane

Thanks Don. The chorus is beautiful and so true. Our loved ones are always with us...just in different ways now. Diane

The first concert for me was Diana Ross and the Supremes. I still have the album with their autograph that I got that night! Diane

Don, You have always been so supportive to everyone on this board. You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself. Diane

Denise, I can so relate to the grieving you are going through losing your dad. I lost my dad in Sept. 2004 and there are still few days that tears aren't shed over losing him. I miss him and the way life was so much. I understand the emotional and physical toll it takes on you caring for everyone. I was the sibling to take care of my dad. I would not trade a minute of time spent with dad, but I sure wish I had more help. I was so tired and emotionally drained that I was falling apart. I also had a family (husband and 2 teenage daughters) at home that needed my care. I just didn't have enough of me to go around to everyone. I am so sorry to hear you are having marital problems. I hope the help you are getting helps. I hurt for you. I know exactly what it does to you when you lose a wonderful dad and while grieving you still need to care for everyone. It is a struggle to find any time to take care of you. I sure hope you find that time in 2007. In few days it will be 3 years since dad was dx. I think just recently reality has set in and I realize this is my new life. I know dad wouldn't want me to live like this and so this year I am taking care of myself and doing everything possible to make my dad proud. If you ever need to talk I am here. I understand. Take care Denise. Hope 2007 is a much better year for you. Diane

Don, You sure are a lucky guy, but I bet your daughter feels equally as lucky to have a great dad like you! What a great surprise that must have been for you. I am so glad the two of you had a wonderful afternoon together. Don, you are blessed, but I think so many have been blessed to know you. I hope your holidays are filled with wonderful family memories. Diane

Karen, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know all to well how hard it is to lose your dad to this horrible disease. My thoughts are with you. Diane

Ann, What a loving tribute to Dennis, to go out and help a stranger. I know he is looking down at you with a huge smile. I can't think of anything nicer you could do in his memory. If everyone in the world thought to do something kind in memory of their loved one, just think how wonderful the world would be. Dennis would be so proud. Ann, my thoughts are with you today. Diane

I am "Woefulwhiner Cheerlessfoot". Funny, I think that is what my kids call me behind my back!lol Diane

Ann, My thoughts and prayers are with you. Your post made me cry, because I so totally understand the hurt and pain. I always thought I was a kind and compassionate person, but I had no idea the depth of grief you feel when you lose someone you love so dearly, until I lost my dad. I am glad you had a comforting dream of Dennis. Maybe he saw you struggling during the night and came to you in that dream to let you know he has met the new grandchild. What a wonderful and comforting dream. My mom had the most comforting dream about a week after dad passed. She was staying with me and when she woke up she swore dad had come to her in her dream and gave her the most wonderful soft kiss on her lips. Nothing was said, just the kiss. I believe that was my dad, just as I believe that was Dennis coming to comfort you last night. I hope the happy memories fill your days. I know from reading your posts you have so many. Take care Ann. Diane

Sharon, Many prayers and thoughts are coming your way. Wishing for only the best results. Take care. Diane

Peggy, you are right, this does SUCK! I wish so much all the hurt would go away and we could concentrate on all the happy memories, but I guess that is a dream. I hope you and all the others who have lost loved ones can find a way to find joy during this holiday season. I am sure trying. Take care. Diane