Ann Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 It's been nineteen long months since Dennis left this life and became pain free forever! I have been through so many ups and downs during the healing process and I'm sorry to say this week has been a very "down" period for me. I am in the process of planning for our youngest son to graduate from college on the last day of this month. I am planning a small party for him and am inviting close friends and family. Dennis was always so worried about this son. Like his dad, Chris was always a "free spirit" and strong willed person. Dennis did not finish college and was so determined to see that our boys did so their life could be easier than his had been. Dennis would have given anything to see Chris walk across that stage to receive his diploma. Chris is the "spitting image" of Dennis so seeing him as he mature stirs many deep seated feelings inside me!!! Deep in my heart, I believe Dennis will see his son receive that diploma and will be smiling like he has never smiled before. I just want him to be here with me for this occasion....and I know he will be. Although months have passed since his death, today I feel as if I just lost him. Friends, please keep me in your thoughts and send good vibes my way!!!! Like many others on this board....my Dennis left this life way too soon! 50 is only the beginning of the very best things in life!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 I know a little of how this must feel for you. We just got through Katie's fourth birthday, and the one time Becky ever talked about not making it through this disease, she told me she wanted to make it at least to Katie's birthday. It made that day extra hard knowing how much Becky wanted to be there. I did feel Becky extra close to me that day, and it was bittersweet. I hope the pain of this is lost at least a little bit in the joy of a great accomplishment. Congratulations. Or maybe I should say con-GRAD-ulations! Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenl Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Ann I am sending loads of positive thoughts your way. You and your children carry Dennis in your heart every single day, so even though you may not actually see him when your son graduates, he is most certainly there!! Wishing you all the best, and congratulations!!! Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Ann, I to have been having bad days again. It seems just like you are coming out of it then bang, the thoughts are back again and the tears flow. Look at your son's big day as a great one. His father would be so proud as my Buddy was when our son got his law degree. I think Buddy told everyone regardless of whether he knew them or not about our son's degrees. Our son would just want to go and hide I think but not Buddy, he would just go on and on and Jim would just bow his head. The big thing to Buddy was that our son was just 22 when he got his law degree. If you have something of your husband's that your son would like, wrap it and give it to him that day. Good memories last a lifetime.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Dear Ann. My heart goes out to you! I am sure your husband will be proudly looking down on you son at the graduation. Prayers and hugs going out to you and congratulations to your graduate son! Paddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyb Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Ann, What can I say. I am so glad for your son and his accomplishments. Dennis must be just beaming with pride and love for him. I am sorry this has caused you such sadness. I do understand how it comes out of nowhere when you just begin to think you can do this. I know how much you must miss Dennis. He should be standing by your side at this wonderful time for your son. And it hurts like hell that he is not there with you. Dennis was far too young to have died. I know you will smile through your tears as your son is graduating. I know you are so proud of him. Dennis will be with you because of the love he had for you and your boys. He is in your heart and part of your soul. I hope the sun shines on you and your family on this very special day. Much love and many warm hugs, Shirleyb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Ann, I know you are proud of your son. His dad is proud of him too. Please know that your feelings are normal. There will be times when the pain is fresh again. This is a time for you to be proud, happy and excited for your son. He will wish his dad was there as well. You may both cry together...but it is a celebration...a stepping stone for your son's life. And I believe that his dad is there celebrating as well. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Ann you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. We seem to have so much in common. As for the pain and stages of grief I doubt that they will ever really end. I can go days and be doing pretty good and then bam just like I have said before it is like a freight train out of no where hits and I am back to day one. Hold the thought that Dennis is with you because we both know that he is. It would just be so much easier and the sun would shire so much brighter if he were there in the flesh. Bless you my friend and may the sun be brighter for you again soon. Lillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Ann, It is always on special occasions (beside other times) that the tears are back. Be glad of your son graduation and Dennis, will be there looking down at all of you. Prayers will be there for you. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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