Ann

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.. 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap. GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree. 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground... 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus. SUCCESS: At age 4 success is . . . . not piddling in your pants. At age 12 success is . . . having friends. At age 17 success is . . having a driver's license. At age 35 success is . . . .having money. At age 50 success is . .. . having money. At age 70 success is . ... . having a drivers license. At age 75 success is .. . . having friends. At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

Randy...I think this is such a great post!!! Thanks so very much for sharing it with us!!!

Ned is definitely on the right track with the information he gave you. Dennis' oncologist recommended a hospice group for us and he even made all of the calls to arrange for them to begin caring for Dennis. We were very fortunate to have a wonderful and caring hospice experience. Dennis wanted to remain at home and we were able to fulfill his wishes, although they did tell us he could be transferred to an in-patient facility if I wasn't able to continue the in-home care. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

Jen....I love reading great news like this!!! Makes me want to happy dance, even if it is morning here!!!

Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Boston. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - all drinks 10 cents." They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this Is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you"! "What'll it be, gentlemen?" There seemed to be a fully-stocked bar, so each of the men ask for a martini... In short order, the bartender serves up four iced martinis......Shaken, not stirred, and says, 'That'll be 10 cents each, please.' The four men stare at the bartender for a moment. Then look at each other...they can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, 'That's 40 cents, please.' They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They have each had two martinis and so far they've spent less than a dollar. Finally one of the men says, 'How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime a piece?' 'I'm a retired tailor from New York,' the bartender said and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery for $25 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime (wine, liquor, beer) it's all the same.' Wow!!!! That's quite a story,' says one of the men. The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice seven other people at the end of the bar who didn't have drinks in front of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there. One man gestures at the seven at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, 'What's with them?' The bartender says, 'Oh, they're all old retired farts from Florida waiting for happy hour when drinks are half price.'

Wow...I think there are many of us from this forum that should have applied for this job with the US Treasury Department. I think we have all of the right credentials!!! https://www.fbo.gov/index?s=opportunity ... =1&au=&ck=

Do you have a lucky number? Why do you consider than number lucky for you? Has anything special ever happened when you used that number?

Judy....I hope you went for breakfast!!! This morning I didn't have time to grab anything for breakfast and I'm starving. I would love to be having breakfast with you right now. How far is Seffner from Palm Bay? Somehow, I don't think I would make it there in a half hour. Oh well, guess I'll just to have to wait for lunch. Well, it looks as if we have to have a new A/C unit. But, I guess that news was inevitable, as this unit was the original one with the house, built in 1998. At least, I will know that I have a unit, under warranty, and won't have to worry about the probability of it not working on a 98 degree day. Thanks to so many of you for accepting me as a friend on Facebook. I've been registered with Facebook for a long time but just got active last week when I met up with my best friend from high school who I haven't see or talked to in over 30 years. What a great experience that was!!! Our weather is still the same...hot, hotter, humid and rain with a chance of severe thunderstorms. For weeks, my hair has made me look like an entry in the Janis Joplin hair look alike contest. My hair's shorter than hers but it's definitely got that full, wavy, frizzy look going on, thanks to this humidity! So, how's the weather in everyone's little corner of the world?

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED: Men Are Just Happier People-- Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Your underwear is $6.00 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 24 relatives on 24th December in 24 minutes. No wonder men are happier.

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check." "Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!" When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he had ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"[/b]

Now wait just a minute....what makes you think I have a broom???

I have heard of this but frankly, have paid little attention to these warnings. We don't eat much meat and maybe only grill once or twice a month. When I do eat meat, mine has to be cooked so well done that it usually is burned, so I guess I'm in a world of trouble. We do marinate most all meat before cooking.

Jen, I'll be keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.

I buy for immediate family....which would be 6....every year. When I get in a "crafty" mood, I try to make several cards that I can use during the year for co-workers and friends. Cards are outrageously expensive and most people don't keep cards and just toss them right after they take out the gift card...lol!

For once in my life, I was really glad to get back to work this morning. Over the weekend, our A/C died and we couldn't find anyone to make a weekend service call. It was over 90 degrees and we had no A/C. I had every fan I could find running but it just didn't seem to be doing any good. So, yesterday I spent most of my day just watching TV in the bedroom so I could stay directly under the ceiling fan. Our A/C unit is getting up in years and I fully expect that we're going to be told that we need a new system. At this point, I just want cool air. The humidity was very high yesterday and that made the heat seem worse. Then, about 5:00 the thunderstorms came and did help to cool things down a bit. We celebrated my youngest son's birthday on Saturday evening and I used the skills (ha!) that I had learned in cake decorating class to make his birthday cake. Actually, I have bought cakes at the grocery bakery that didn't look or taste as good, so I was pleased. I made a three layer cake, two layers of yellow and one layer of chocolate with strawberry filling between the layers. I use the Smucker's low sugar preserves for the filling and it was great. I made my whipped cream icing and decorated the cake in yellow and blue roses. Judy... How is your eye today? Hope everyone's little corner of the world is cooler than mine was over the weekend. Ann

How many birthday cards do you purchase in a years time?

I have always (well almost always) wanted to learn how to sew. When I was a teenager, my mom wanted to teach me but I never had the interest then. Now, I have a sewing machine that I have no idea how to use. There are so many crafty things...totes and bags...that I would love to be able to make.

What is something you've always wanted to learn how to do?

Yep, Heidi, I think that second cup of tea is making our Judy do things twice as good...lol! Judy....Sorry your eyes are bothering you again. Mine were going crazy when it was so dry here but since we've been hanging out with Noah and the animals and getting rain everyday, my eyes have been fine. I do know that my Jasmine has been blooming like crazy. I stepped outside last night to let the dogs out and I could see the white blooms in total darkness. Heidi....I'm so excited that you are going to meet Susan in Alabama. I think it's great when we can actually meet people we already know so well...just through their words. Hope you gals have a great time! Be sure and take some pictures top share with us. Well, as you all know, it's my favorite day of the week. I absolutely didn't want to get out of bed this morning. Nothing much new to report from here today but if anything develops, I'll jump right in and share with you guys!!! Happy Friday in everyone's little corner of the world!!! Ann

Lil...I'm so very glad to read this wonderful news about Ruby!!! Please let her know how happy we all are for her!!!

Like others, I have a really hard time even thinking about making a decision if a person should live or die, based on their monetary status. I have a problem thinking about that mother that died because she decided to feed her children rather than buy her blood pressure medicine. I have a problem thinking about cancer patients that don't even have a fighting chance because they can't afford the "experimental" drugs that their insurance company won't pay for. So....I'm really confused about exactly where I do stand on the national health care issue. This is about a lot more than politics. It's about more than being a democrat or a republican. To me, it's become more about the ethical treatment of people. How many animal welfare organizations have I belonged to and supported in my life who were all about the ethical treatment of animals. Never, in my wildest dreams, did I figure we would be having a discussion about ethical medical care in the United States of America. As Nick said, it's one of the scariest things I have witnessed in my life and I'm older than Nick. Somewhere, rolling around in my head, the words "survival of the fittest" come into play. When herds of deer become so thick that there is not enough food for all of them to eat, hunters cull the herd...and somehow manage to make it sound humane, as a fast death is better than starving to death. By deciding who gets treatment, is this not exactly what we are doing? Will we withold treatment from the older, sicker of our population, since they are already doomed?

Judy...so glad to hear you're now officially back in the rainy Sunshine State! Actually we haven't had any rain for two entire days now so I think the weather gods are planning a great homecoming for you. Sorry to hear you've had such a frustrating time getting online. Personally, I think you should have joined Randy at Ben & Jerry's. I'm sure he would have treated you to a humongous cone of Chunky Monkey, which happens to be my favorite. I always get so sticky when I go to Ben & Jerry's and I just don't see how Randy manages to keep his keyboard ice cream free. Absolutely nothing new to report on here today. It has been one long, slow and boring day. I would rather work my behind off and make the day go by fast than to do hardly anything and have it drag. I'm going home and make a huge pot of meat sauce for a spaghetti dinner tomorrow night at our Legion Post. Most of the ladies work, so we're all going to make our sauce at home tonight and then just get there early enough to cook the pasta, toss the salad and toast the bread. So, hope everyone is safe and happy in their little corner of the world!!! Ann

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene." What the devil is that?" Jane, "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet." Arlene. "Where did you get it?" Jane,"You can get them at any pharmacy." The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers. "Doesn't matter, Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel." The pharmacist fainted.

I'm so very sorry.

Judy....I'm so happy to see that you finally let that gorilla out of the closet!!! I'm so happy to have you join me as co-moderator of this forum! As the old saying goes...."you have to be crazy to work here"....and I think this definitely applies to moderating this forum. For me, this forum has always been a place for people to escape and have a little bit of fun, amidst all of their problems and worries. So, I know you're just the person to offer that escape for everyone that wants to let their mind just drift away.....possibly to our beautiful Florida Keys!!! By the way, I hope you'll be home soon!!! Ann