Ann

minestrone soup

Yes, Ellen, that's fine!!! The idea for a daily JFJ (joke for Judy) was born when our Judy was a little down over her recent test results and I wanted to make sure she laughed every day. Hopefully, we can all laugh along with Judy.

For many years, I was a very occasional breakfast eater. But, for the past two months, I have been eating breakfast and loving it. I have a friend that lost 13 pounds in four month time span from being on a high fiber diet. I've been copying her regime and am losing weight. This is the first diet that I always feel full. In the morning, I have one of the mini whole wheat bagels, double fiber oatmeal and a small glass of orange juice.

Came across these warnings from product labels, some of them are pretty funny...enjoy! 1. Do not allow children to play in dishwasher. 2. On a carpenter's electric drill: "This product is not intended for use as a dentist drill!" 3. On a baby stroller: "Remove child before folding." 4. On a handheld massager: "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." 5. On a laser print cartridge: "Do not eat." 6. On a household iron: "Never iron clothes while they are on your body." 7. On a fireplace log: "Caution, risk of fire." 8. On children's cough medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery." 9. On package of peanuts: "Warning, contains nuts." 10. On a chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." 12. On new camera: "This camera only works when there is film inside." 13. On can of self-defense pepper spray: "Warning do not spray at people." I think I'd have to go with #3 and #6 as my top two - how about you?

BREAD

SHOPPING FUN Post something that you find at the grocery store. The last letter of the word becomes the first letter of the next word.

The other day I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 35+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra & bodice, stiletto heels and a mask over just our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went: My engaged friend: The other night my boyfriend came over and found me wearing a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long. The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night. Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said... "What's for dinner, Batman?"

BIRTHDAY

Let's talk breakfast...... Do you eat breakfast on a regular basis? If so, do you go for a full breakfast (bacon, eggs, etc) or do you just grab something fast? What's your usual breakfast?

You guys won't believe this one!!! I took off from work, made the hour trip north and was there until 5:00 yesterday. Apparently, ex-boss' attorney is not the sharpest tack in the box and isn't too good at time management and scheduling. My paperwork told me to be there at 1:00. I got there about 20 minutes early (drove fast). There were people there, when I got there, that were told to be there at 9:00 yesterday morning that still hadn't been called to testify. They finally started calling those people around 2:15 or so. At 5:00 his attorney came out and told me they wouldn't have time to call me! I was furious, as I had been sitting on a very uncomfortable bench, like the wooden slatted ones found in yards, for hours. My back was killing me, my nerves were wrecked and I had the worst headache I have ever had in my life. I told him there was no way my boss would let me take off another day and that I COULD NOT come back today. He said he was releasing me but asked me to keep my phone near, in case he has to call me back today. I was so mentally exhausted last night that I came home, showered and was in bed right away. I'm too old to take this stress...lol!!!

After all of this waiting, I would be completely content to board Becky Snowflake's bus and travel around the country with my friends. But, I would love to fly to Colorado and just spend two weeks somewhere in the Gunnison area. My Dennis loved this area and managed to go there once a year during hunting season. I never made the trip with him, so I think I would like to go there, take in all of the beauty of nature that he loved and somehow feel closer to him.

OK....we know that Judy is still asleep this morning, reading the posts with one eye partially open. Judy.....anywhere in the United States.....LOL

gas

OK....picture this..... In 1 hour, you can board a private plane and travel to any destination in the United States at absolutely no cost to you. You can stay for two weeks, all expenses paid. Where are you going and why did you pick that destination?

This is from an article in the St. Petersburg Times Newspaper on Sunday. The Business Section asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix the Economy?" I think this guy nailed it! Dear Mr. President: Please find below my suggestion for fixing America's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan: There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations: 1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed. 2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered- Auto Industry fi xed. 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed. It can't get any easier than that! If more money is needed, have all members of Congress and their constituents pay their taxes...

The Zen of Sarcus 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of > me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just > pretty much leave me alone. > > 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and > leaky tire. > > 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal > your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. > > 4. Don't be irreplaceable . If you can't be replaced, you can't be > promoted. > > 5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. > > 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. > > 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of > car payments. > > 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. > That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their > shoes. > > 9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you. > > 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to > fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day . > > 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was > probably a wise investment. > > 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. > > 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. > > 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. > > 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put > it back in your pocket. > > 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. > > 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark > side, and it holds the universe together. > > 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one > works. > > 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are > moving . > > 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. > > 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up. > > 22 .. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a > laxative on the same night.

Katie....This is not a depo. It's their final divorce hearing. Florida is a no fault divorce state but these two have a lot of assets to divide and there is still the custody issue to be determined. So, I'm not really sure of what to expect. They had a preliminary hearing months ago and the attorney was a bear. Since I kept the books for the company, there were a lot of questions to determine his capability to pay child support. I answered everything to the best of my capability but that was a long time ago. I don't remember anything about the numbers now. But, I so remember a lot about his bad behavior and it would probably help him more if I stayed home, as her attorney will be sure to ask me all about that in a cross-exam.

CREAM

Thanks for all of your supportive words! I just hate this because it's someplace I definitely do not want to be!!! Working there was a JOB, I did my job...over and beyond. It wasn't my fault that he became an addict and blew his life. Katie...I've plan to do just as you say and celebrate that this is finally the end of any connection with these people. To make matters worse, this bum still owes me for three weeks salary plus my two weeks paid vacation that I never took. I know I will never see that $$$ but it burns my behind to be put in this situation by him. I have to take a day off work (no pay) and drive all the way to the north end of our county, which happens to be over an hour drive each way. So, I'm out even more now. I just need to take deep breaths and meditate!!!!

I'm really stressed today and just need to vent. I'm sure that some of you remember the situation I was in about a year and a half ago, when I lost my job. If you remember, my boss had developed an addiction problem (cocaine) and he and his wife were divorcing. I went through some terrible times while working for him and trying to keep his business afloat while he was in and out of jail and rehab facilities. Well, their final divorce hearing is tomorrow and I have been served a subpeona by his attorney to appear in court. I had to go through this about 6-7 months ago and it was a nightmare. He has this smart a** attorney that seems to get a kick out of making people very uncomfortable while on the stand. This couple have a lot of assets to divide and the custody of three little girls will be decided. I have a great admiration for the mother but no use my former boss. I will tell the truth but, after all this time, there is a lot I have forgotten. I kept the books and I remember nothing about the numbers. I'm just so dreading going through this. This man is not a nice person and to be frank, I am very fearful of him. So, please say a few prayers for me tomorrow.

Case

I just checked on Dial Idol for predictions and they are saying it is way too close to call. This site has been really accurate in the past, based on busy signals.

GinnyD...I completely agree with you about last night's excitement level on Idol. Come on, this is the semi-finals and it was ho-hum dull!!!

It looks like we were all right about Ty going home. Actually, I didn't know this until this morning, as I missed DWTS last night. I had a meeting last night and I recorded both Idol and DWTS. When I came home, I started watching Idol first, as DWTS was still recording. We had some thunder and lighting here last night and the power went off three times. I never even thought that the power being off would cancel my DVR from recording what I had programed. It save already recorded Idol but didn't record DWTS. I was so sad!!! I,m really torn about these last three Idol contestants, as I like them all. But, I've been pulling for Gokey from the beginning and I think I'll remain a loyal fan!!!