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Patkid

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    Reflections...

    in HOPE

    Posted

    It took a full day for us to formulate a post for this thread.

    Brian and I want to tell, you, Melanie, that we feel warmed by your letter.

    We are stronger, more content, peaceful and mostly blessed for having you in our lives.

    May God shine His Face upon you and give you peace.

    May He hold your family in His Arms.

    We are praying for your husband to know how to comfort you and to know how to be comforted.

    We are sending love and support and admiration.

    Brian and Pat

    A Turn for The Worst

    in SCLC GROUP

    Posted

    Betty,

    Brian and I have felt so much of your strength. You are forever in our hearts and a part of our battle. We love your spirit and will never forget the absolute first class person you are. There are a lot of ways to "do things", you have demonstrated the high road and we stand in awe. Praying and praying that your path is well lit and you know that Our Lord and all of your LCSC family members are holding your hand.

    Sincerely,

    Pat and Brian

    Prayers/Good thoughts/Vibes requested for me... Cindi o'h

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Cindi, We are so angry that this happened. It is so unfair. It is just wrong.

    One thing we do know and we are sure of and we count on and we expect for you is that There really is one secure thing that you can count on and that is: How well loved you are by our God and by all of us. That is truly secure and that really counts and you are so warm and so loving and so giving and so deserving that your future abode will feel as home and haven the minute you step inside.

    Lots of love

    Brat

    last present

    in INTRODUCE YOURSELF!

    Posted

    I like Margaret's thinking. Or you could pay a visit with special pastries and wonderful coffee or tea and tell him some of what you told us about your feelings.

    We will add your grandfather to our prayer concerns.

    Not sure about not telling him but will trust that your family is making good decisions in his best interest.

    Pat and Brian

    KatieB 4000

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Katie,

    you can never understand what this group means to us.

    Thank you does not seem sufficient....

    I thank God for you and yours each night.

    Pat and Brian

    Depression OR Anger?

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    Love you, too, Sharyn.

    This whole discussion is such a gift to me.......thank you to everyone for opening these gates.

    I repeat my prayer:

    Dearest Lord,

    Please

    Stengthen my hands

    SOFTEN MY HEART

    and shut my mouth.

    I only want to speak peace and I only want to believe the best about eveyone............sometimes I just plain ache and need to think it is someone's fault...........

    Somedays I miss Tom so bad and can't bear to think of trying to learn to miss Brian.....Sometimes I am scared that I am sick, too, and that I won't be able to care for Brian....

    I know that this forum and the people who post here are a gift I can't describe......

    Some times God answers prayers with things/people that we did not even know enough to ask for.......

    Depression OR Anger?

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    Oh, God, Beth, I so hear you!!

    I will try to compose a reply, but it may take more than one or 2 attempts.......

    In 1993 my then husband, Tom, died of a massive heart attack in our living room at age 46....no warning no symptoms no reason......

    I coped

    In 2000 my dearest sister, Nancy, was dx with SCLC-extensive....she died in Feb 2001 - though she lived in CA I went to her and was grateful to be her primary caregiver for the last 3 weeks of her life

    I coped

    In April of 2001 my darling Brian (who I married in 1996)mangled his right hand in an Industrial accident. We tried to save it through multiple surgeries but it was amputated in Feb of 2002.

    We coped..........Brian is awesome......and continued to do his machinist's job and everything else left handed w/ the help of his "hook".

    In February of this year.........well this is where you came in, I know.........

    All I ever hear is how strong I am, how well I cope, and so on........How wonderful it is that folks can rely on me and ya da ya da ya da.

    BULL!!!

    I am a mess and I feel so many of the things you do.

    Brian has 2 grown daughters who call to see how he is. They say: "Call me if you need anything". They think that is doing something.

    His mother is 85 years old, but lives in her own apartment and honestly sees this whole thing as terrible inconvience since Brian and I do not have the time to give her that we normally do. Her latest attention gaining ploy is to drink..........gawd............. then when she has a snootful she calls to go on and on how everyone has just forgotten about her..........of course Brian is hysterical worrying that she will fall or start her building on fire...........

    I feel such resentment,too, as Brian's girls go on and on about how lucky Brian is to have me........(I interpret that to mean that THEY ARE LUCKY THEY DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH LUNG CANCER.) When they do come over they act as though they are company......I end up feeding them and theirs..........It is not the work or the food.........it is the idea that they don't even consider bringing their dad a treat...or anything. The casual -- over the shoulder -- "just call if you need me.........." (as they walk to their cars with left-overs) just doesn't ring as sincere.

    Brian raised these 2 gorgeous women on his own. He was a single dad from the time they were toddlers. He spoiled them and they only know how to take. There is not an ounce of give in either one of them. Brian spent his whole parenting energy trying to make up to them for not having a participating mother. Never mind that he remained single out of respect for them ......... he found early that young women he met in the 70's did not want a ready made family ....... and he did not want more kids.....so he stayed single and took care of his girls. They love him, they are just very very selfish.....

    When there is discussion about their grandma they just wonder how she will divide her treasures between them.......Brian is an only child...not too much competition.

    Yes, there is a difference between anger and depression. But I think that all the emotions we feel right now are more intense and that they all overlap and tangle up with each other. I think you are having a perfectly normal reaction. I think you are well deserving of all your feelings and reactions. I think we are doing a great job. I support you and I honestly get what you are saying.

    The prayer I say every day over and over is:

    MY DEAREST LORD,

    PLEASE;

    STRENTHEN MY HANDS

    SOFTEN MY HEART

    AND

    SHUT MY MOUTH!

    Beth, this should not be so much about me to answer you............but I think it is pertinent and it feels so good to vent.

    P

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