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melindasue37

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Posts posted by melindasue37

    Woulda Been

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Randy,

    It is going to be a rough day for you. I'm so sorry.

    As Sharyn said, I hope you feel Deb's presence with you today.

    Take extra special care of yourself today ok?

    How would you feel?

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    I would be very upset if I can specifically asked my sister to NOT do something and she turned around and did the exact opposite. If it was something as important as my Mom's things then I think that might throw me over the edge.

    I know we have to pick our battles and she is family....ladaladala...but it was very important that you were able to feel close to your Mom again by going through her things. I am completely on your side here. Everyone has their own way of dealing with the grief. Just because she is a little further along than you in the process doesn't mean that anything you are doing or feeling isn't right or normal.

    I would try to talk to her, remind her how you feel and remind her that you love her but to please listen to what you are saying to her, especially when it comes to your Mom.

    Things not good - update on my husband - back to hospital

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    Grace,

    Your post brought back so many memories.

    My Mom had the same thing happen. The fall in the bathroom and having to put depends on her. It is so hard for them to give up that independence and it just hurts to see the ones we love so deeply going through this.

    The autopilot is sometimes the only way to cope and get through this...you are doing a WONDERFUL job.

    Stay strong and keep us posted on how ALL of you are doing.

    Warm Hugs,

    Melinda

    Getting to Know You - February 08

    in JUST FOR FUN

    Posted

    I have four at home.

    My favorite is the bamboo plant my Mom brought back last year from Florida. These are perfect plants for those of you that have a difficult time with house plants. They don't grow in soil, only rocks and water and thrive as long as they are not in direct sunlight.

    Another special plant I have is from my Moms funeral. I'm not sure what kind it is but it is doing remarkably well. Lots of new shoots and is a big, beautiful plant.

    Frankie Lamb- 2/08/2007

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    I'm just so sorry to hear this.

    I'm reminded of a song by Brooks and Dunn...a line in there comes instantly to mind.

    "If there was ever anybody who deserved a ticket to the other side..." Frank, god speed to you.

    You are really going to be missed.

    Praying for you, Pattie, and all of your family during such a difficult time.

    Warm Hugs,

    Melinda

    James R. Bair

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Michele,

    I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad.

    There are so many of us here who have lost loved ones .....we might not all be grieving in the same way but we are all feeling the pain and can sympathize with hard hard it really is to lose someone we love.

    Warm Hugs,

    Melinda

    Missing Mom's advice

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Sarah,

    I'm not sure if there is much truth to this but I've heard that we get "gifts from grief."

    To make a long story short I used to talk to my Mom often about how I wanted to move. I had lived in my last place for 10 years and it ws something that really wanted, just couldn't get off my butt to actually MAKE it happen.

    Three months after my Mom passed away I had the opportunity to move. Everything literally fell into place and I found myself not even thinking about it. I just did it and I am so happy now.

    I truly beleive that my Mom had something to do with it. But, it hurts so much to not be able to call her and tell her all about it.

    I just wonder if your Mom had something to do with this new opportunity arising for you? I bet she did. :D

    Wishing you the best of luck at your new job. It sounds like a very exciting job. Good LUCK!!!

    Warm Hugs,

    Melinda

    poem "I will be there"

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    If I go,

    while you're still here...

    Know that I live on,

    vibrating to a different measure

    ..behind a thin veil you cannot see through.

    You will not see me,

    so you Must have faith.

    I wait for the time when we can soar together again,

    both..aware of each other.

    Until then, live your life to its fullest.

    And when you need me,

    Just whisper my name in your heart,

    ....I will be there...

    author unknown

    The Mourner's Bill of Rights

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    The Mourner's Bill of Rights

    1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief. No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. So, when you turn to others for help, don't allow them to tell what you should or should not be feeling.

    2. You have the right to talk about your grief. Talking about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you want, about your grief. If at times you don't feel like talking, you also have the right to be silent.

    3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions. Confusion, disorientation, fear, guilt and relief are just a few of the emotions you might feel as part of your grief journey. Others may try to tell you that feeling angry, for example, is wrong. Don't take these judgmental responses to heart. Instead, find listeners who will accept your feelings without condition.

    4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits. Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don't allow others to push you into doing things you don't feel ready to do.

    5. You have the right to experience "griefbursts." Sometimes, out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can be frightening, but is normal and natural. Find someone who understands and will let you talk it out.

    6. You have the right to make use of ritual. The funeral ritual does more than acknowledge the death of someone loved. It helps provide you with the support of caring people. More importantly, the funeral is a way for you to mourn. If others tell you the funeral or other healing rituals such as these are silly or unnecessary, don't listen.

    7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality. If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. If you feel angry at God, find someone to talk with who won't be critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.

    8. You have the right to search for meaning. You may find yourself asking, "Why did he or she die? Why this way? Why now?" Some of your questions may have answers, but some may not. And watch out for the clichéd responses some people may give you. Comments like, "It was God's will" or "Think of what you have to be thankful for" are not helpful and you do not have to accept them.

    9. You have the right to treasure your memories. Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. You will always remember. Instead of ignoring your memories, find others with whom you can share them.

    10. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal. Reconciling your grief will not happen quickly. Remember, grief is a process, not an event. Be patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid people who are impatient and intolerant with you. Neither you nor those around you must forget that the death of someone loved changes your life forever.

    I need a spanking!!

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    You should be so, SO, proud of yourself of what you have accomplished. 28 days is a heck of a long time and to give all that up because you smoked ONE cigarette would be a big mistake.

    I hope you can jump right back on the wagon and make it another 28 days....and 28 more....etc.

    Good luck Bobby :D

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