melindasue37
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Posts posted by melindasue37
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Patience is a virtue. One of the many I lack. Never more evident than when I am grocery shopping.
Some days the only time I get out of the house is when I force myself to head to the market to buy what I need for dinner. Oftentimes I go there with absolutely nothing in mind and find myself inspired by the aromas of fresh-baked bread or slow-roasted chicken. I enjoy the experience, except for the crowded vegetable section of the store. This is where most people slow down so they can inspect, fondle, smell, and squeeze until they have discovered that one grapefruit, that special cantaloupe that everyone else missed.
I can be seen, plastic bag in hand, waiting, moaning, and huffing as I finally slump over my cart in frustration. In just a few seconds I'm in and out, green pepper in hand and on my way to the scale to slap that sticker on it. No big deal for me.
Except for yesterday.
I decided to pick up some string beans. Of all the sections in the vegetable market, the string bean people move the slowest. One bean at a time. "Oh, Lord give me patience!" I said to myself as I approached the counter.
There, blocking access with his cart, was an elderly man. His messy white hair, flipped up in the back, made him look like a 80-year-old hippie. He was average height and looked much like a string bean himself. Thin and frail-looking, he moved slowly and his hands seemed to tremble as he searched through the pile of beans.
Without turning his head toward me, he said, "It takes time to find the right ones. There's an art to this, you know."
"I didn't realize that," I said. "Although that explains why everyone spends so much time here. They're artists."
"I see them as people," he replied.
"The beans?" I asked.
"Yes." he said in a matter-of-fact tone.
"See this one? This short, stubby one would tend to get passed over. Its appearance doesn't fit the perfect image of a long, thin, crisp bean. Most likely, after too much handling, the clerk will toss it out thinking no one wants it. So I take it. People don't know what they are missing, passing up this one," he continued.
"Now I know this curved one won't be used either. Some people see food as more than nourishment. It's all in the presentation. The image of a few select beans, all of the same length, lying on a plate nestled perfectly next to the entrée, supposedly adds to the enjoyment of the meal. I for one see my food as representing life itself. The world is full of texture, odd shapes and sizes. My world is not perfect. Nor is my dinner plate," he said.
Suddenly I realized that we were the only ones in this aisle. Very unusual for this time of day. I was calm and very attentive to everything this man was saying. Also unusual.
"Yes, this pile of beans reminds me that people come into my life in all sizes. Some are broken like this one. Others are still attached to the vine where they were nourished and protected and oftentimes were ripped away from their roots, carrying with them resentment and fear. Like this bean, the vine needs to be removed so that it can be seen in its full beauty and not one clinging to things of the past," he said as he tossed them in his bag.
A few minutes had passed as I stood in silence just watching the old man as he dug deep into the pile, turning and tossing them from the bottom as one would stir a salad.
"Well, I must go now," the man said. "I'll leave you with these 'human beans.' Be kind to them. Don't judge them just by looks. Inside everyone of them is the same life-giving elements. But like people, many will never be given the chance." he said.
"So they end up on the bottom, tossed aside?" I asked.
"The difference is," he replied, "as people we have a choice not to settle for the garbage heap."
He tied the top of the plastic bag and turned away, missing the cart completely as he tried to place it inside.
"Sir, let me get that for you," I said.
"Every once in a while I misjudge the distance. I've been blind all of my life. You'd think I'd have this worked out by now."
Blind? I couldn't believe it. Suddenly a young lady appeared from around the corner.
"Poppa! I'm over here, straight ahead of you. Would you like me to pick out some nice tomatoes?"
"No, honey. I know just what I need," he said.
Turning back toward where I was standing, he whispered, "She's always in such a hurry. She'll miss the best ones. Have a great day!"
What insight. What vision this old man had. A blind man helped me to see what joy I had been missing in the simple act of shopping for vegetables. I wonder what else I have been blind to in the hurry of my day.
By the way, tonight we're having brussel sprouts. I can't wait to get back to the market.
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Hot Chocolate with whipped cream on top. Yummy!
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Pat,
When I read this post it hurt to hear the pain you are going through. You really have endured a tremendous amount of heartache. I don't know what else to say but that I am thinking of you and praying for you and that I hope you feel both Brian and Tom beside you throughout this season giving you strength to get through the holiday season.
Warm Hugs,
Melinda
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I am saying a very special prayer for you, Ann.
It really is difficult to get into that holiday spirit when our loved ones are no longer with us. But, please remember how very special you are to all of us here.
May God watch over you and bring you a very special Christmas with all your loved ones close by.
Warm Hugs,
Melinda
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What great news, Kelly.
You have so much to be thankful for this holiday season.
Congratulations!
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It was a balmy 5 degrees on the ride in to work today.
Gotta love the Chicago winters....
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Welcome!!
I'm sure you are feeling the overwhelming feelings that all of us do when we first find out our loved ones have lung cancer. But, you should be very proud of yourself. You have found a great place for both support and answers.
You know your father better than the doctors. And there is so much to be said for that "gut instinct." Go with it and continue to ask questions. Do what you feel is right regarding the BEST care possible for your Dad.
Praying for you and your family.
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What a day of good news. First Amie and now you.
I am so, so happy for you, Ann!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!
Here is my good news....
After years of dragging my butt, I have finally moved.
(Still in the Chicagoland area though)
We did have to put it off for a day because of the snowstorm that hit Chicago last Friday. But, finally got everything in the new place and now just have to get it all organized!
Now, just trying to get into the Christmas spirit....
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Maryanne,
What a brilliant idea to put off treatment until after the holiday!! Joel will be able to enjoy every minute of your special holiday tradition too.
I'm very happy to hear this news.
Warm Hugs,
Melinda
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I have been thinking about you to, Amie.
I'm just SO happy to hear that life has been so good to you.
Congratulations on your wedding and your new little bunny
How exciting!!!
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Bill,
This topic has been something that has been on my mind since the death of my Mom in September.
I feel that when my Moms doctor told her no more treatments and that she would probably live another month he took every ounce of hope away from her. Like Brian, she took a nosedive and we could only watch the fighting spirit and her life being drained from her because of him playing God.
I only wish he would have asked us first what our thoughts were to give her that type of devastating news. Just one of the many what if's.......
I might print this out and send it to him with a few thoughts of my own.
Thank you for this post.
Melinda
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You are such an inspiration to us here, Randy.
I'm glad you realized that the bottle of Beam is such a temporary patch. Eventually we all have to begin to deal with the painful process of grieving.
And it helps to know there are others who know our story and we can open up our hearts and begin to heal.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Warm Hugs,
Melinda
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This has always been a favorite of mine too.
I love it!
Thank you for posting so I could get a little inner strength that is so much needed right now.
Warm Hugs,
Melinda
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Don,
Wow, a great-grandfather. You must be SO proud!!!
Congratulations!!!!!
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I find comfort in poems and I wanted to share this one with all of you who have lost a loved one......
If Tomorrow Starts Without Me
"If tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand.
And said my place was ready
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things
I might miss some tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates
I felt so much at home,
When God looked down and smiled at me
From His great golden throne.
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow
But today will always last,
And since each day is the same way
There's no longing for the past.
So when tomorrow starts without me
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me
I'm right here, in your heart."
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carve, eat, smash
couch
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I have been thinking the exact same thoughts as you, Jen.
I read everyday, but I just takes so much to be optimistic. I haven't even been able to open the "new" members posts because the memories are just so painful. I try to post and like you there have been so many times when I just close it out and tell myself I'll try to get back to it later.
I've even thought about trying to post to explain why I've not been around as much as I'd like to be but even that was too difficult to put into words.
So, I just had to reply to this one. I completely understand where you are coming from, unfortunately.
Warm Hugs,
Melinda
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You are in such a rough situation right now. But, you are doing the right thing by calling in hospice. You both need help. I'm praying that your Mom will welcome their return after they leave instead of fighting it.
Please, keep us posted.
Warm Hugs,
Melinda
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Wow, it sounds absolutely wonderful to be thinking of moving to Hawaii!!!
I sure do hope that it all falls into place and you'll be able to go, Cindi.
My sister moved to Hawaii a short time ago. She is back now but it is a dream to move back for her.
I'll ask her for any advice she might have for you.
Warm Hugs,
Melinda
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Maryanne,
Thanks for the update.
Sending prayers that Joel will be back at home very soon and feeling much better.
Warm Hugs,
Melinda
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Well Happy Birthday Charlotte and Congratulations to YOU, Grandma!!!!!
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I'm so sorry, Shellie.
Praying for you and your sis.
Just found out and I'm a wreck...
in GENERAL
Posted
Yes, God does listen to our prayers and we are all praying for good results for your husband!!!!!
Your anger and fear was expected after having already been through lung cancer with your Dad. I hope waiting for the results goes by quick. I'm confident you'll be posting in the GOOD NEWS FORUM!!
Hang in there Sharyn!!