Remembering Dave

Botely, Jenny and I have almost mirrored each other as far as dignosis dates and treatment protocal. I had my radiation and chemo treatments at the same time and believe it was a little harder as far as the fatigue and other side effects but always keep in mind that they are side effects of the cure--not the disease. You did not mention how old you mother is which may have played a part in the desicio n not to do radiation at this time. Her over all health situation may have also played a part in the decision. As for your question as to if to push for radiation, my vote would be a definite YES!!! My thinking is that anything which will help, I WANT. Preventative brain radiation (PCI) which is usualy done after all chemo and any chest radiation for people who have a good response to the treatments is a controversial treatment which many people do not opt for but in my case, again, i felt that if there was any chance of furthering my survival rate then I wanted to have it done. Everybody is different and no decision is right for everyone so you and you mother must really search you soles and do your research on the treatments and make your'e own decision as to you treatment protocal. My thoughts and prayers are with you. David C

Hi, this is David C's wife, Karen. Yep, he has a couple of things he got with Marlboro miles. Wouldn't it be nice if you could earn CT scans with miles, I LOVE that idea! The only reason I mention to folks that Dave's smoking caused his cancer is because it did. When he was in the hospital being diagnosed, the oncologist looked him straight in the eye and said "your kind of lung cancer is almost always caused by smoking and if you smoke again, no matter what we do for you, you will probably die" I assume by "your kind" he meant SCLC. I was glad he was so straightforward with Dave and he is a kind man, he did not say it as punishment, just wanted to arm Dave with every bit of information he needed to fight this thing to win. So, I mention to people I know who are smokers that my husband has LC and his smoking caused it. I walk right up to them on the loading dock of our office bldg where they smoke and tell them. All I get are blank looks, looks that say "sorry, but it won't happen to me". I will say, however, that this past weekend I was at a family wedding out of town and was telling a cousin's 23 year old daughter this - she smokes - and she just looked at me, her jaw dropped, and said "wow". I would bet she stops. She is a budding musician and admires Dave so hopefully I got through to someone in time. All of that being said, there are plenty of folks on this board who never smoked and got lung cancer. They don't deserve to be pre-judged by anyone because people may assume they smoked. The folks on this board who did smoke and got lung cancer certainly don't deserve to be judged, either. No one deserves to get this nasty disease, whether you were very careful with your health or not. It is probably the most awful thing that can happen to a person. I just wanted to add my two cents worth. Oh, by the way, I do tell some folks if they choose to continue smoking they should get their lungs checked periodically. One lady I work with tells me her husband smokes - and he is a technician who works on the radiation machinery at the big teaching hospital here in town (one of the top cancer centers in the country). He SEES people's xrays and CT scans and stuff from lung cancer - she asked him to get his lungs scanned and he said it wouldn't happen to him! God Bless to everyone on this Board, Karen C.

Jenny, this is Karen, David C's wife. He started his PCI on Wednesday. By Wednesday evening he had a terrible headache - he said it felt like his eyes were popping out of his head. The next day when he went in the nurse said he was having brain swelling from the PCI (after just one treatment!) and put him on Decadron, a steriod. He still has the headache, a little bit, and last night couldn't sleep because of the steriod. Steroids also make him a little crazy, he was on prednisone last Fall for his asthma (which the lung tumors triggered, which we did not know at the time he had) and went psycho on me. Fortunately his entire family was there for Thanksgiving so I had some backup . . . !! Anyway, the chemo and chest radiation, which he had concurrently, did not bother him all that much except for the fatigue, but this PCI seems to be making him feel worse than anything. It sounds like it's not bothering you any. Are you having any headache? Take care, Karen C.

I just watched a piece on The Today Show about a camp called First Descents somewhere around Vail CO. It is a Kayaking camp for kid cancer survivors. I started crying thinking about these kids fighting this disease. I am 39 years old and consider myself very young to have to fight the fight but at least I have realized some of my dreams and done things in my life that I have always wanted to do. These kids are not even old enough to have dreams for the most part. My sister has worked for the National Childrens Cancer Foundation ( NCCF ) in LA CA as one of the head fund raisers for many years but I never realized what that organization was truely about until I saw this piece this morning on these kids. Even having cancer myself now I have not thought about these little children who have to fight cancer also. If I could do anything to save these kids I feel I would definitely do it. I feel like I am rambling but if you ever have a chance to donate to the NCCF ( or any other kid cancer support/research organization) of your money or your time I urge you to do so for these kids really deserve to live a life. If any of you have any questions about helping out with NCCF let me know and I will get you in touch with my sister. David C

Al, no words come to me to adequately express the courage and love you exhibited and the true beauty in the words you have shared about your'e lovely wife and your'e loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you in you're time of mourning.

I started my PCI (preventative Brain Radiation, in laymans terms) on the 3rd of this month and my brain is swelling!!! All is under control, I hope. I told my doc and he has prescribed some steroids for this. I started getting a headache about 2 hours after my first treatment and it got pretty bad for several hours and then got better. I went in today and told them about the headache and they gave me a prescription. I don't do well on steroids, they prevent me from sleeping AND they make me a little crazy, to put it mildly, although I have never taken this particular brand so maybe these won't be so bad. My poor wife may kill me before I finish my treatments!!! These are the last treatments I have scheduled. I will be having 15 days of brain radiation. I have more scans set up next week, a CT and possibly a PET scan depending on what the CT shows, then we will determine what is going on. If the CT still shows something then we will do a PET to see if it is cancer or just scar tissue or more pneumonia. I have not been posting much lately but I read all the posts everyday. I have not had the energy to type responses, I am a 2 finger typer, although I can get some pretty good speed going when I'm on a roll. I am over a month out from my last chemo treatment and want so bad to start getting my energy back but my body will not cooperate. I have been getting out and doing stuff but my body gets so tired and worn out so easy. I have heard it takes 3 months or longer to get this chemo poison out of you system, guess I just have to keep that in my mind. My thoughts and prayers are with each and every one of you. Keep the positive attitudes and keep the Faith.

All Right Don, you go!!!! Not agreeing or disagreeing with you--just enjoying your post. David C

Shannon, I really admired you, watching you go through this struggle with Mike and how strong you were and strong for him. I want to be this good for Dave. I want you to know that - there is always something good out of bad experiences, and you have been such a good example to folks like me. I can't imagine how LONELY you are, even with all the friends and family you have to do things with, you still must be lonely. When I think of the possibility of losing Dave I think how lonely I'll be (even though I complain he never talks to me, but that's not what it's all about). So please know that in a weird, imagined way, I can see a little of how you feel, only because I fear feeling it myself. I must tell you that I have lost three 1st cousins - all young - 38 to 48 years old - in the last three years. One cousin, Tom, was 48 and died suddenly while jogging 3 years ago labor day weekend (very healthy guy, too). He and his wife had been together since meeting in high school, had two grown daughters, and were very tight, the perfect, close couple. But a year or so ago Gail met a guy - a really decent, wonderful man, and they got married this past spring. Even though she is my cousin-in-law she is still family to us, and everyone is so happy that she found someone to hopefully spend the rest of her life with. Gail misses Tom and still loves him, but now she's not lonely and has someone to love her in that special way again. I'm not saying I think you should starting looking for a new husband or anything, just wanted to share a similiar story - you remind me alot of Gail - she didn't re-marry because she is weak and needy, but because she is strong and sure in her everlasting love for my cousin. Take care and God Bless, (and take comfort in knowing Mike is with Christ now) Karen C.

Welcome to the "so far, so good" club! Karen C.

Gina - you keep posting all your fun spirited messages, and one would never know you'd had this scare! How do you do that? Amazing! But glad you're "OK" - as far as I'm concerned, as long as it's not cancer, you're OK! By the way, even though Dave is a REALLY good trumpeter, dogs howl when he plays the trumpet - NOT the piano! Our dog Miles (God bless his soul, he left us in February) was quite a character - a big handsome choc. lab - and when Dave practiced Miles would sit at his feet and howl at the tops of his lungs, I think he was singing along! I would sit in the next room and laugh until I had to run to the bathroom! hang in there! Karen C.

Don, so glad your Lucie is home with you, I know you missed her! I look at your signature and hope Dave and I make it to 44 years together!! 10 down and 34 more to go - he can and will beat his SCLC and make it there! God Bless, Karen C.

I guess you have to ask yourself, do I feel lucky-----you should!!!!!! Wow, I bet that was a scare but all sounds good, well at least better than....... Hang in there. By the way, you do not want to hear me play the piano, dogs howl for miles around. David C

Heather, hang in there. Welcome aboard! I guess the Docs also told you that SCLC is highly agressive.......YET IT IS ALSO VERY RESPONSIVE TO TREATMENT!!!!! Do not look atg the statistics- they do not appy to any of us. I firmly believe that being a care giver as you are is worse than actually being the patient. I see what my wife and family are going through and see that they want to help so bad but feel they can do nothing at times. Your father has the right attitude. You have to fight, fight, fight and never give up. Do not listen to your doctors advice. They do seem to be very aggressive in thier treatment of him, getting him chemo so fast and that is good. We are all here for you. Tell your dad to fight like he has never fought before and YES, he will beat this. David C

Gina, great job, keep it up. That is quite an accomplishment, especially in the kind of business you are in, believe me, I KNOW. I have been smoke free since March. I went cold Turkey after my diagnosis but I was in pretty bad shape by the time I was diagnosed from the dangerously low sodium count in my body that the week I had in the hospital strapped to the bed and getting cut open for my biopsy helped me along. We will always be smokers, I will be a smoker untill the day I die....... many, many years from now.......we will always be smokers but WE will never smoke again. Keep your mind in the right place and you can accomplish anything. Keep up the good work. David C.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR RA-AY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!

Hi, I just got to work after Dave's radiologist appointment - his head CT scan from last week was all clear, so they did the planning session to start his PCI - probably start that next week. The radiologist also looked over the chest xray that the pulmonary doc ordered and said the mass in his lung indeed looked to be shrinking and he felt that it was all pneumonia, which was going away (he took two weeks of antibiotics) and he thought Dave was still all cancer free!! Yipee!! Hopefully he'll have this three weeks of PCI and start the road to recovery and regaining all his strength! And we can pick up where we left off - being new parents, a happy family of three! Karen C.

No gloating there - hey, Dave and I LIVE for news like this!!! Our best to your happy family! God Bless, Karen C.

Yipee!!! Isn't that the best thing to hear? You got loads of good news, too! Keep up the fight AND that wonderful positive attitude! God Bless, Karen C.

Hey, Gina, yeah, I thought it was great when he said he thought it was a sin to not want to live. I think the whole reason the whole show was so touching was his grace in dealing with the situation and his love of life. And, like you, I forgot to tape it, double-duh, but I was in a hurry getting the bambino in bed. Sooo, if you do get a copy of it, I'd love one, and am willing to pay the costs as well. Well worth it. Take care, Karen C.

I ALMOST forgot - at 7:40 I remembered and got Faith a bath, in her pj's and tucked into bed by 8:05! We sat and watched the whole thing without saying a word. I must say the program was alot less "fluffy" than I expected - very moving and he did share alot about his disease. My initial reaction was one of sadness for his life to be ending but also uplifting that he choose to live his last year or so of his life under his own conditions. But this morning I woke up and thought: if the docs gave him three months and without treatment he's now up to a year - maybe he should have pursued treatment aggressively from the get-go - and maybe proved them wrong? The only answer to that, if you ask me, is that you can never regret the path you take with cancer - if you do, you'll drive yourself crazy. It's impossible to know the right answers with cancer until it's over with, and even then, you must know it is God's will. Thanks for telling us about this show, Gina, it was very moving, and made me feel like we are less alone in this ordeal. Blessings, Karen C.

Hey, my Dave is a musician - for 13 years he was a full time professional trumpet player until the binds of matrimony killed his career (ha, that's what his friends all like to think, anyway). Musicians in this part of the world just don't make any money. In the last year or two Dave's playing has been mostly in our church, which he loves, as it's mostly classical in nature and he loves playing and listening to classical music, not to mention the actual praise that is involved. He was supposed to play in our Easter Cantata when he was diagnosed. I think hearing the radiologist tell him he could not play the trumpet until he was well was more devastating than the diagnoses itself. He is determined to get well, get healed, and blow that trumpet some more. I will say that he is a damn good musician and the will to play has given him alot of fight (along with the will to live and be a parent, another life long dream of us both!). That being said, we both like music of all kinds - and I've recently heard about Zevon's fight and really admire him, so my plan is to go out and buy that CD as soon as I get the chance, 'cause darn it all that type of determination needs to be rewarded with good sales! Thanks for the heads up on the special, I think I'll get Faith in bed on time tomorrow so we won't miss that. God Bless, Karen C.

Sam, I think I'm addicted to this Board now, ha! I've been wondering how you're doing. I'm so glad to hear the cancer seems to be gone, but darn sorry the radiation pneumonitis is still sticking around. Question: how long can that darn radiation pneumonia last, anyway? My Dave has it now, at least they think (no one can seem to say FOR SURE that the mass on his CT scan and x ray is pneumonia and not another tumor, but all the docs are pretty sure that it is). He is feeling better after a big round of antibiotics but the mass is still there (after a follow up x ray after the antibiotics). I'm just wondering - until his lung scans are CLEAN I will be uneasy. Take care, and it was great to hear from you. God Bless us all, for sure! Karen C.

Lenny - love the poem! Your attitude is much like my Dave's - just wanted to say thank you for sharing it because we all need reminders that WE are in control, with God's help! Blessings, Karen C.

Thanks for all the input. We'll see what happens. Jenny - been meaning to tell you, it sounds like you and Dave are on the same schedule, insofar as when your cancer was diagnosed and your treatment schedule, even your "remission" schedule, although his recent "mass" in his left lung has set him back a bit from you, the suspected pneumonia. He had a CT Scan of his brain last week and we go Friday to meet with the radiologist and if that is clean then his PCI will likely start the following week. we do know that he'll have three weeks, daily, but don't know the dosage. He also had a chest x ray last week and the pulmonary doc called and said the "mass" looked like it had shrunk and still think it is/was pneumonia, is repeating the x ray on 9/11 (I don't like the date) but I reminded Dave that the oncologist scheduled a chest CT Scan for the following day so hopefully the 9/11 x ray will be cancelled. If the CT scan shows something that continues to look bad the radiologist said he'll talk the oncologist into the PET Scan and then that's when the surgery option will be discussed, but HOPEFULLY that conversation won't need to happen! I guess I'm thinking too far in advance but darn it all, I believe it is my job to stay on top of things and see to it that this is treated as aggressively as possible - we have a child to raise - TOGETHER! Best to all and Jenny, good luck with the PCI! Karen C.

Kevin - I see your father is in Richmond. We live in King William County, about 30 miles northeast of Richmond, and both Dave and I work in Richmond. Where does your father live? Who are his doctors? Let us know if we can be of any help. Karen C. - wife to David C.