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Gail, Sounds like a tiny bit of sense of humor creeping in again and I'm really glad. That Hank's tolerating the Alimta is really good and the doctors at least have a plan. Here's hoping he gets results from the new antibiotic. It's been a long haul for the two of you but I've seen so many people on this site up against it and then just turn a positive corner. Sending positive thoughts and feelings your way. Judy in Key West

I can hear your pain and frustration. I don't understand or like your neurologist. Why would he tell you that. I didn't have neuropathy but I know people on the site have and it has last for varying degrees but it has gone away. I don't understand how he can tell you it's only going to get worse and will not get better once you are off the chemo. It wasn't like what you are dealing with but I can relate with my experience with Avastin. I was having raging headaches I eventually found out were probably from the Avastin in my chemo cocktail. By the time I went into remission and they put me on Avastin maintenance I was spiking stroke-time blood pressure levels. I was really mad and didn't want to do it but my doctor promised to level my bp and told me to stay on the treatment. He did and I did. Your doctors don't appear to be handling this with a lot of understanding or compassion. Get mad but maybe also get a second opinion on the neuropathy. I really am so so sorry you are having to go through this. Please come here and vent and get any info you can from people who have been through it. Judy in Key West

Oh Patti, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I'll be there to toast you at the Pub too. Sandra's pub sounds fab. Imagine, a summer of no worry. Hope they get on top of that leg thing soon though so you can really hoe those rows with full vigor. So happy for you, Judy in Key West

Dar, I am so so sorry to hear this sad news this morning. Judy in Key West

I can't believe I went for a massage and missed all this fun. Sandra, I read the first post and though, wow, I love that kind of stuff. Ya all just kinda chimed in and it got really crazy! I'm right handed, have (lung) cancer in the left chest wall and my brain can't really decide most of the time if it wants to lean to the right or the left. Frankly I really like Patti B's idea. What a great bunch. Judy in Key West

Sandra, I was really out of it and rambling yesterday but you pretty much got it. We all find our way of handling the fear so it doesn't dominant our lives. I was observing my myself, though, how sometimes I think I see it lurking as I go through the sites and listen to people and try to inform myself about cancer and treatments and side effects. I think I'm trying to do better next time around--they say it will come back. Will I see it coming this time? I just believe that when something feels off, we really really want to know is this a side effect or is it the cancer acting up again. I like what you said about peace of mind. I find it much easier post dx to just let things go with people I'm close to that I've had issues with. Life's too short is right there at the top of my responses. Those choices about treatment options are always still a sticking point for me though. I never know what I'm going to do until I'm up against it. I appreciate your musings. Judy in Key West

Now that's funny!!!!

Carole, I've been on and off the site all day and don't know how I missed this post you did early this morning. Hope you got to talk with your sister and found some comfort in missing your Dad. Wishing you a peaceful evening, Judy in Key West

Phil, I always thought nodule meant small and in this arena small is good and possible is even better. We'll wait for an update. Judy in Key West

Debi, I haven't been around long enough to have known you when...but I wish I had. Such beautiful sentiments so eloquently spoken. Congratulations on your five years of freedom. Judy in Key West

Dar, I'm so sorry. I wish there was more I could say but there isn't. I'm hoping others with pain management experience will come in and offer some advice. From what I read on the sites, it is sometimes challenging to find that balance between having someone's pain under control and not having them seem out of it. Hang tough. Hope hospice comes in tomorrow and helps. Judy in Key West

Connie, thanks. Nothing I do surprises me these days. I'm suffering from what appears to be real chemo-brain and am only on one maintenance chemo drug! What other excuse do I have? Judy in Key West

Kristi, Happy Birthday! Hope you got to do whatever you wanted with it. Judy in Key West

Barb, Thanks for this article. It's one of the most hopeful I've read in awhile. And we'll know the results in three years. I'm saving my frequent flyer mile in case I need it. Judy in Key West

brokenarrow, Feeling overwhelmed by the welcome yet! That's how this group is--friendly people with open arms. Glad to hear treatment has worked for you. I'm guessing you're doing Avastin and Tarceva as a a maintenance after finding you were cancer-free on a scan? If so, we'd be interested in what your first treatment was. There are so many survivors here and you learn there's always hope--in your case (and mine) to stay cancer-free. Judy in Key West

I know that some of us have what Ned calls "dual residency" here and on cancergrace.org. I've copied a post I made there today because I'm interested in the response of anyone and everyone. So if you're regularly on cancergrace, just ignore this post. If not, I'd be interested in your feelings on it. I've edited it a little for no reason but that's what I do to pretty much everything I write. I've noticed two things in my cancer site activities lately. I have a couple of friends on a treatment I don't know much about. They are having a really rough time of it. I've been trying to learn more about the side effects because I'm worried about them. It is the treatment or the cancer? I have also realized that as I read (on this site) how people had their cancer discovered, I'm noting similarities in symptoms ignored to my pre-dx year(s). I realized I'm preparing for my break from Avastin. What can I look for in warning signs the cancer is progressing once I've passed the time the Avastin is expected to stay in the body (or even progressing while I am still on it)? It's like the concern I have for my friends. The question is how do we minimize the fear? On treatment or off, the main psychological issue for many of us is, is the cancer progressing? I'm asking myself obvious questions: After my CT scan in mid August, when will the next one be, before or after my Fall break from treatment? I can ask my oncologist next time we meet. If I have one or two and all looks good--how long will my break be? I can ask my oncologist. Supposed one timed after the break is clear, will I be able to extend the break? I can ask my oncologist. If I stay off treatment or not, how will I know if the cancer is progressing between scans? No one can answer that question." And so we search for answers, what's a side effect and what is suggesting the cancer is active or progressing? Can we ever research enough to make an educated guess? Judy in Key West

That's o.k. he's tired, Kristi, I'll bet he's really glad he went. Even if, maybe, he won't admit it!?! Glad you have the nurse there to help. Judy in Key West

Kristi, I'm happy for you the wedding went so well. I'm also glad your dad was able to stay so you could have a good time. Don't be surprised, though, if he's flat out today. Many of us can push ourselves for a special occasion but usually need to regroup the next day or so. Judy in Key West

A friend emailed me this without any explanation this morning. The implication is it's a true event. But, of course, she could be pulling my leg. In any case, it's really funny. Has anyone heard it before: I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.' Richard grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?' 'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.' So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T I used to like the little shi_.

Carole, As a mother-naturish kind of lady myself, it all sounds grand to me. I've had bird feeders outside one window I can see from my chair in my living rom and orchids blooming outside another way pre-dx. The water effect was not so successful but your idea sounds sounds interesting. I really admire you for being such an upbeat survivor and it's these little things and the family pictures and music, etc., that really make up the meaningful fabric of life. Worth thinking about and incorporating what works for each individual in their surroundings even if not housebound. Judy in Key West

Dar, Don't know how I missed this thread that started earlier this week. I am sorry you are having to face this stage in your mother's illness right now. Take heart from the words of others and try to wring as much closeness as you can for however long this lasts. Forgive me for being an incorrigible fixer and I know kids are kids and feeling the stress of their grandmother's illness too. But could someone in the family other than you maybe give them an outlet to vent their feelings or even just have a little mindless fun? But then, perhaps their fighting doesn't add to you stress. It could represent one island of normalcy for you--as you said, life just keeps going on. If so, just ignore this part of my post! Wishes you only any comfort you can find, Judy in Key West

Reading these posts, I've noticed two important factors that pop up with people who are still working or want to get back to work. They love what they do AND in many cases, they miss the people. I loved counseling but over ten years time found it to be very isolating. The only people I interacted with were clients and you're not supposed to have personal relationships with clients. So for those of you who've expressed being lonely at home, I'm with you but I got pretty lonely at work too. I have my husband here but one person can't be all things to you. Thank goodness for the wonderful friends I'm making on this site. Judy in Key West

Tina, your mom is awesome. Wow! Judy in Key West

Marianne, Three chemos in and tumor practically gone. Definitely celebratory time. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Judy in Key West

Bruce, that's the best news! I'll toast you at the Pub. Judy in Key West