Debaroo

Jonathan, just wanted to let you know that your knowledge regarding cancer and treatment is pretty impressive!! Why don't you register as a member? Just wondering. I look forward to your posts and to the information that you provide. Just wanted to thank you for everything. Take care, Deb

Marlon, I private messaged you. Just wanted you to know. Take care, deb

Don and Lucie, please add me to the great list of people that are praying for two great people. I am sorry that you seem to be a bit 'steamrolled' right now. You are so greatly appreciated here, and I am glad that you came to lean on us, as we have leaned on you so many times. Please let us know how things are going, and if you need to lean more, we are here. We love you both very dearly...take care, Deb

Mark, welcome to the board and thank you for sharing your story. As far as the terms, I would be grateful if, in a year, or in several years-I were able to say that my dad is a longterm survivor of lung cancer. That being said, if that dosn't work for you, and dealing more in the scientific nature of things works for you in dealing with your disease-than thats what you should do. As the Beatles said "whatever gets you through the night, its alright-its alright...whatever gets you through the day, its ok, its ok." For me, if I weren't driven by my emotions-my love, my caring, my empathy and my passion for trying to find things that would make my dads journey one that enables him to not just live, but live a better quality of life...than I honestly think that my dad would not have done as well as he has in his, so far, year and one-half battle...and I feel that way about my family here on this message board. If I have some tidbit, or just my sharing emotional support somehow makes even one moment of someones life easier, or makes them laugh, or a shared experience makes some type of difference to them-as it surely has for me-than it makes this whole thing all the more bearable. I just think that at SOME point, emotions get involved for everyone. I think that you are right to see that you have been a lucky man, and I am glad that you can do it. If you ever need emotional support, we will be here. If you just want to share medical knowledge, we appreciate it...either way, you are welcome here, and since sharing knowledge is so crutial in this battle-we appreciate your input. But we also appreciate the prayers and support. Take care, and keep posting, Deb

DavidP-I love you!!! Your posts get RIGHT TO THE POINT! I feel the same way, cancer does NOT give a person carte blance to treat people like crap! I used to work with people with developmental disablities-and there were people that I got along with and liked, and people that I didn't like-the point is-just because they were mentally retarded didn't mean that they didn't have personalities-and it didn't mean that I had to like them. I was respectful, YES, but I didn't let the mean people get away with being mean. now, Christina-Might I be so bold as to ask you what you were punishing youself for when you married him? You said that "he wasn't that nice BEFORE his Dx, and he has gotten worse"? I just wonder why you wouldn't think that you deserved better before? The point is, you realize it now, and you don't have to settle just because he is sick-he was mean before, and has gotten worse. Its not as if you signed on to this wonderful guy, he got sick and you want out- it is different. I believe that you can do what you need to do for you and still 'give him a hand'= you CAN leave him-and he'd STILL be covered under your insurance policy...so you both get what you really need. Or, if that is too harsh, maybe some marriage counseling is in order. If you love the guy, that is. Maybe a non-partial person would help out. So, you can extend the olive branch and seek counseling, or you can extend you arm-hand him his insurance card-wave goodbye and leave the situation. Or you could just keep things the same. Its up to you. But the cancer could just be making a not so good situation, worse. Any way that you cut it, there is NO easy answer. Take care, and keep us posted Deb

Alyse, I'm sorry about your husbands cancer spreading... is it possible for them to use radiation on the area to help reduce the mass? I must admit that I am not sure of what is possible for these types of mets. I would seek out another opinion if the doctors appear to be slacking off. I know this is difficult, but I would really think that radiation would be able to be done. Take care and keep us posted, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Deb

Kathy, you and Tim have been in my prayers-let us know how things go. Take care, Deb

Carol, just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you and Gene. I hope you are faring well in this Long Island Humid heatwave!!! I know the chemo. weighs on Gene, but it IS good that he is going for his second treatment tomorrow-you don't want to give those damn cancer cells a fighting chance, right? right! I hope that Genes strength starts to come back, and as far as his apetite, have they prescribed any meds to help with that? The eating thing is SOOOOO frustrating, because you KNOW that eating is key in a persons energy level, etc.. but forcing someone to eat is IMPOSSIBLE-it has been that way with my dad, and it is frustrating for him as much as it is for us. Just wanted to let you know that I'M ROOTING FOR YOU GUYS!!!!! Keep us posted, and both continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Deb

Dad is home now. He had the fluid drained and the talc was put in to, hopefully, prevent this from happening again. He is SOOO tired, he sleeps CONSTANTLY. I know that this was a painful procedure, and that it must have taken alot out of him...I am just so scared that he won't bounce back-even just a little. Tomorrow my mom will make Dads appt. with his oncologist, to see what is to be done next. The thing that bothers me is that when one of the doctors from the Onc. office went to see Dad in the hospital, Dad asked "whats next, doc?" the doctor said, 'well, thats up to you" and Dad said "No, its up to you. Whatever you want to do" the doctor simply smiled and said, "lets see what hapens". What does that mean? Is this guy figuring that dads days are numbered and why make them worse with chemo side effects? I mean, I know that he said chemo could be done even if the fluid couldn't be drained, chemo could be done...but we would have to consider Dads "quality of life", than he said, "look, this is hard to talk about over the phone, lets see how Richie does". Did I ever mention that my dads name is Richie? I don't think I have. Its so weird, he's just Dad to me... Tomorrow is Daddys birthday. The only gift I want to give him is impossible, but its the most important thing... I want to give him his health . Deb

Shannon, your poem brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing it. Thank you for reminding me that I must make sure my husband knows how much I love him, as you made sure that Mike knew your love for him. Deb

Mary, I am so sorry for your loss. Your euligy was very moving. I hope that, in time, your memories of your dear sister serve to comfort you, and your family. Deb

Cary, you might also want to look into Gamma knife...it sounds similar to the IMRT treatment, but is done in one session-a 3D MRI is used and three doctors plot out the dosages, including a nulcear physisist. My dad had it in January and it was successful. I posted a message in response to Alyssa in the orig. orig. General forum that is more detailed. Feel free to e-mail or private message me if you would like more information. The Gamma knife can be done as often as needed, my dad had 3 lesions treated with it...the tumors are killed in one session of a high frequency radiation that is targeted only at the tumors, the surrounding tissue is left untouched and the tumors are killed 100% with one treatment (98% of the time)...the tumors are then reabsorbed by the body at the same rate at which they grew. Please keep us posted as to how your father does. Take care and you are in my thoughts and prayers. Deb

Connie, my heart aches for you and your dad and mom...Isn't it amazing what our moms will do to spare the rest of us pain, even when their own pain is so great. I will continue to pray for you and your family.. Take care, deb

Ray, you ARE a survivor, I liked Dons post-what his friend said about the definition of survivor. You know, my dad is having a rough time right now, and is in the hospital to have his lung drained of fluid. He said to me that he hopes this works, because he has not been able to do anything-brushing his teeth was a struggle-no energy, his breathing was so labored, and he said to me that right now he feels like he is just 'existing' not living. My point is, that the chemo will have its side effects, but you will get through it. There will be good days and bad days-but you ARE LIVING with and SURIVING WITH lung cancer. That, my friend, is the important thing. As far as my dad is concerned, until his last breath, he will be surviving lung cancer...thats my story and I'm sticking with it. I look forward to reading your posts, Ray, and will continue to do so. I may not post a reply all the time, but I DEFINATLY read them all, and you are ALWAYS in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, my friend...and wear that shirt and be proud!! Deb

Ray, I am sorry that things seem to be taking a downward turn for your dad. If you are interested, as I know you have tried introducing alternative treatments incorporated with the traditional...if you go to Onepeacefulworld.com (re: macrobiotic diet) there is an article about a woman that had lung cancer (i believe SCLC) and was receiving hospiace care, she had been bed ridden and was very very ill, her family put her on a macrobiotic diet ( I know that your father isn't eating much-but maybe there is SOMETHING you can get into him) anyway, she took a complete turn around in her health, and is a long term LC survivor. The point is, as much as it seems impossible, sometimes miricles happen. As far as the pleural effusion, my dad is in the hospital right now having his lungs treated for this. I have gotten replies from Carol S and TimsKathy regarding their husbands and they were treated successfully. My dads apetite was gone too, I think the fluid buildup affected his overall health, not just his breathing. He was working on only 30% lung capasity! His appetite has improved a bit when he was perscribed an oral steroid to help his breathing (sorry I forget the name of it right now), but it is a side effect of steriods to increase appetite. They've taken him off of the medication, since the drain has been put in. Hopefully his appetite dosn't go away again! Please keep us posted, I hope this was of some help. Take care, Deb

Deb, from one Deb to another, no regrets...ok? I know that it is hard, but the fact that you have come to this board seeking information and support is not only of help to you, but to your mom too. And also, think of it this way, your mom got a break from chemo, which probably gave her some time to build up her strength again, which will work in her favor. SCLC is very responsive to chemo, and that is a definate plus. By the way, your dad sounds remarkably like mine-except my two girls are a just turned 5 year old and a 2 1/2 year old...and I do the same thing, between chores around the house, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. and running any errands-I come to this site whenever I can to check up on posts, and when I have time, I post too, or I make a mental note to make it back to someones post to respond. We can't hold ourselves responsible for what the disease does, or for decisions our parents may make-difficult as that may sometimes be-because they are adults, and they must have some control over decision making-ultimatly they are the ones that have to be able to deal with side-effects of not only the disease but of the treatment too. As loved ones, we must cut ourselves some slack. There is a point where we must have faith in the doctors, unless of course they are complete a*holes-of course . Take care, Deb, and you are in my thoughts and prayers...Deb So, cut

Jay, I'm sorry that you are feeling so nausious from the chemo...there are meds that can help counter-act that, so ask your doctor about them. Just try to take care of yourself and remember what Carol said-remember that the chemo is doing its job. By the way, I love your new picture!! Take care, and keep us posted, Deb

Don, I am glad that Lucie was able to turn the tables on you and provide you with the support you needed, as you have been doing for her. It shows that she must be feeling strong...What is that old saying, one of the ways to make a marriage work is that only one person gets to be crazy (or in this case, down) at a time...thats what its all about, a complimentery relationship wherein one persons strength makes up for the other persons weakness-even if it is just momentary. I am also VERY GLAD that the pulmonologist caught the medication problem!!! What a good thing!! Whew. I hope that soon you will be able to "throw" caution to the wind and say, in no uncertain or fearful terms that things ARE moving in a positive direction. Get over that cold, take care of youself-and remember that hugs are good for the soul!! Take care, and here is a hug for you and Lucie ((((((((((Don and Lucie)))))))))). Deb

I'm with Shellie, I read your post and was like "what the ????" is that doctor talking about? Of course chemo makes a person weak, HELLO!! It kills good and "bad"cells, and that is why a person has to keep up on white cell counts...a second opinion would be a good thing. Keep us posted, take care, you are in my thoughts and prayers Deb

I can see the headlines now, fortunatly there were no injuries sustained. Oh, that couple are my parents...Dad saw the thorac-whatever surgeon and the surgeon told my parents that he only had 1 more patient scheduled for the day, so why don't they meet him at Southside hospital-go to the emergency room and he'll be there in an hour. On the way, they were only about a mile from the hospital, their car (mom was driving) was stopped at a red light, and they get rear ended by this guy that was NOT paying attention. Dad was FURIOUS, Mom was FURIOUS, and they were both a nervous wreck!! They told the police officer that they were on their way to the hospital so my dad could have a surgical procedure to empty fluid from his lung, and the cop called an ambulance, Dad took the ambulance and Mom drove the car (just a dent in the rear bumper/but they OTHER GUYS CAR-what a mess-oh well, too bad so sad for him...no one was injured and thats the important thing.) So, they made it to the hospital-shaken up-but ok. They don't seem to be having any pain from the jolt, and are keeping an eye on it. Dad had the tube inserted into his Left lung, and SO MUCH fluid came out-the doctor said they filled up this container thing that measured it 2 times within an hour. Dad was in some pain at first, and started coughing, which the Doc said is a good thing, so the lung will reexpand. I told Dad to put a pillow on his stomach for when he coughs, to help with the pain, but he said no, he thinks it will interfere with the coughing and re-expantion process. I can't convince him otherwise-he is determined not to undermine his own progress! Now its one of those "wait and see" things-nothing new. In 2 weeks they'll know if his lungs will fill with fluid again or not. They are supposed to put some type of medication in there to help prevent that-I don't know the name-didn't get to talk to the doc. again. Has anyone heard of this, or had any experience with any of this? On a lighter note, when the ER doc was examining my dad, he looked at his back and said "have you always had this hump?" (real tactful)-Dad has severe scoliosis (great posture, though) and his spine is shaped like a question mark-so he has a 'hump' on it, not quasimoto big, but its there...anyway, I went " Oh my God, hump? he didn't have a hump before the car accident" and the doctor was like "huh?" and then my Sister, Mom Dad and I had a good laugh.. Then the doctor said -looking at dads chart- "SO, medically, other than the cancer, high blood pressure and collapsed lung, are there any other heath problems, or is that all?" and my sister goes "isn't that enough?" and we all laughed again... So, thats that folks...Dad said to me last night while I was with him at the hospital (he'll be there for at least a few days), "If they clear this up, I can go to Disney World with you guys...I gotta tell you, I'm really excited about it. Especially going with the kids." I wanted to cry. You see, when I was 10 my parents had saved and saved so that we could go to Disney World, we drove there and it was a great trip. We were supposed to leave at 8:00am, but my DAD was SOOOOOO excited, that he couldn't sleep, so he woke us all up at 2:00am and said, " lets go guys, I'm too excited to sleep, you could all sleep in the car" and we did, by 3am, we were on the road. Its a GREAT MEMORY, one of my best...that whole trip, and how excited and proud my Dad was that he could bring us to the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!!!! Rob, my husband, wanted to move the trip (set for the end of Oct) up, if my dad is feeling better, he really wants us all to be able to go. But I told him we should wait and see, because Dad is supposed to start chemo again, depending on how things go. I hope we could all go...Its my only wish, right now. For my Mom and Dad and Rob and me and Gwyneth and Julia to go to the happiest place on Earth, together. Well, thats all for now, folks. I'll keep you all posted, and thank you again for all of your prayers and support...it really helps. Take care, Deb

Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that dad goes to the thrac-whatever surgeon today. My sister and I were wondering-if they can't get Daddys lung working again, and he is on oxygen, is he still able to get chemo? The pulmonologist said that dad "CAN live with one lung, he'd be on oxygen" dad was upset because he dosn't WANT to live like this, he can't stand up without having to rest and to catch his breath. So, Mom called the Oncologist to ask if Dad can get chemo, even if his lung isn't in working order, he said that he would be able to get chemo, but it would be up to Dad...he said "he would have to decide for himself...this is very difficult to talk about over the phone, but he would have to decide based on what quality of life it would give him. Lets just see what happens with the surgeon tomorrow, they may be able to get the fluid out and get his lung working again. We have to see what happens, lets not jump the gun." Mom called me back, crying, and this whole thing...well, for lack of a better word...SUCKS (I hate using that word, but it really is the only word that I could come up with). I'll keep you guys posted as to how things go, I don't know if the surgeon would take immediate action, or have Dad go to the hospital in the morning for the procedure to be set up then... I just hate all the waiting. WAITING SUCKS TOO !!! And while I'm at it, I'm not crazy about the high taxes we pay on long island! and car insurance is too expensive, too! and the MOVIES-UUUGH, don't get me started, and what about the size of candy bars, they DID get smaller, didn't they? OK, OK. This is Deb signing off saying "Take care, and have a pleasant day."

Sorry to be late (post #43!), but I am glad that your surgery went well. I want to join the club as well, and let you know that you serve as a great inspiration to me as well... I can't wait to find out which clinical trial you will be put on. Sending positive thoughts and prayers for more success. As far as the Iressa goes, it worked for my dad for a few months, but then stopped working...but like you said, that dosn't mean it won't work for other people. To quote my dads oncologist, "I think that it is well worth giving it (Iressa) a try. It gives your body a much needed rest for chemo, and when this stuff works, IT WORKS!" So anyone out there using Iressa, remember, it DID work for my dad for a while-it shrunk 2 tumors on the lungs, and there was no progression of the disease. So DON'T GIVE UP HOPE, there are people out there that SWEAR by the stuff. I was amazed by how it worked for my dad, and would tell others to give it a try. I am glad that your husband is feeling well. My parents are also both being treated for cancer, they actually have been scheduling appts. at the same time, although we didn't get the discounted rate from the onc. LOL, I think that the fact that Dad went through chemo, and was able to sort of prepare my mom for what to expect, was actually helpful. Take care of yourselves, I'll add an extra prayer for you guys to be able to return to Hawaii really soon-it sounds like paradise! Deb

Prayers for a clean cat scan and a wedding full of wonderful memories for you, your daughter, your dad and whole family. Take care, Deb

Shellie, I know exactly how you feel. It is bad enough that our parents are getting older, but to no be able to just brush aside even the most minor ache or pain, or tirdness-we go into overdrive and think "oh, no...what if its the cancer." While we must keep an eye out to try to catch further mets, or nip side effects of treatment in the bud, we must also try to remember that aging in and of itself comes with its baggage. That said, you will worry always, as we all do, and must pull yourself back fromt he edge. If you are really concerned and these pains persist or get worse, by all means call your moms doctor-or oncologist. But also, could it be that since she felt so good on Friday, she over did her activity? My dad has done that several times. He takes the fact that he feels good, and runs himself ragged, although his activities never quite returned to "pre cancer" status, he over did his activites, ignoring the fact that he is undergoing treatment for an illness. It is important that we try to keep things in perspective, and give our loved ones a chance to have a bad day or two. Much as it is painful to watch, we must remind ourselves that the treatment alone can cause pain, fatigue, and physical and emotional side effects that can easily be confused with being symptoms of the disease. We face the duty of remaining steadfast in our loved ones treatment and-if possible- ASAP diagnosis of symptoms of further metasis, and also must carry on the duty of "going on with life as usual." Creating this balance is a daunting and seemingly impossible task...but it kind of happens, granted it might be in short spurts, but it does kind of happen. The tricky part is that WE MUST LET IT HAPPEN And if you come upon any helpful hints as to how to do this, please share them...For me, I just take a step back and would say, look she felt fine on Friday, as your mom said, she fealt "soooo good". I would try to pull myself back out of the panic by saying, if the cancer were spreading so fast, she would probably NOT have felt "sooo good" on friday...she must have overdone it, sometimes it is AS easy to get carried away when they are feeling good, and allow them to become run down, as it is to worry when they don't have a good day. Try to get some rest, give your mom a few days. She will see more "good days", and, unfortuantly she will see more "tired, achy days", too. We knew to worry about my dad when the "tired, achey"days got progressively worse. Try to take care of yourself, and come here when you need to get some perspective or support or advice. Take care, Deb

Don and Lucie, sorry I am late for the party (fashionably late?)...but my wishes are sincere A TOAST "TO DON AND LUCIE and 44 Years of for 'better or for worse' To MORE BETTER , less worse, and many, many more happy years together...(CLINK) CHEERS!