Debaroo

Gail, I would LOVE a teacher for my kids that placed an IMPORTANT EMPHASIS on what kind of a person to be. It is all so risky. I worry that the example I set is just not enough. Kids NEED, even THIRST for role models such as yourself. I was just in Barnes and Nobel with my 2 year old, and saw a childrens book titled THE THREE QUESTIONS based on a story by Tolstoy. It really made quite an impression on me and will be sitting between their Easter baskets on Easter morning. It told about what the "important" things are. What the "right" thing to do is, who is most "important" and when is the "right time" to do something. It is a wonderful book. I'm sorry, but I forget, where do you teach, how old are your students? My daughter starts kindergarden in Sept. and let me tell you, I am so nervous about what type of example that the older kids, and YES the teachers will be setting for her. Kids spend SO MUCH time in school, around the outside influance of the other kids and teachers-and it is so easy to loose them while they are at such an impressionable age. Their personalities are developing, and good role models are crucial to what type of adult they will become. Its weird, this morning my 4 year old, Gwyneth, asked me "Mommy, what does 'influance' mean" (she'd heard it on one of her disney videos. I thought, and explained (probably poorly) that how one person acts can "influance" or change how another person acts. Sometimes that can be good and sometimes that can be bad. Then I gave her examples of when she is a good influance on her younger sister and set and example of what the "right thing to do" is (ie: sharing, or even singing and dancing) and when she is a poor influance, and sets an example of what is not the right thing to do (ie: being rude). My point, and I do have one-albeit long winded-is that as a parent I can use ALL THE HELP I CAN GET to produce two human beings with INTEGRITY, COMPASSION, and that have enough self-respect to get them out of some tight situations. I would be grateful for an influance such as yourself in their lives, Gail. Parenting is hard enough with all the poor examples in the media, we need REAL PEOPLE that will help us mold our children. That old saying "it takes a village to raise a child" was never more true. I'd be relieved to have you in my village. Take care, Deb

Estelle, GREAT NEWS!!! I could hear your smile in your post, and we're all smiling with you . A toast "to Estelle, and continued great results (clink)CHEERS!" . Take care, and continue to keep us posted. Deb

Fay, Good news about the tumors and the CAT scan results. I, also, hope that they find out what is causing your mom to be so nausious and what the fluid is. And I hope that they get those results to you REALLY QUICK We all know how difficult those "waiting games" are. Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. Keep us posted. Take care, Deb

Judy, A toast..."To having more 'everything is fine' check ups and enjoying every moment of it (CLINK) CHEERS!" Connie was right, it IS a good news day-might I add to her post that it is also great that Jay posted today, which is good news in and of itself. Ok, now I would post a picture of myself in a cheerleader outfit for you, Judy, but I was NEVER a cheerleader-in high school I actually used to shave my hair and wear alot of black. Being a cheerleader would not have been "punk" . But if I had one, and knew how to get a picture on this board, I'd break it out just for you!!! Take care, Deb

Shannon, I am so happy that you got the appointment so fast. Man, I'd hate to be those poor cancer cells, with you and Mike and the Mayo going after them- "I pitty the fools", they don't stand a chance!!!! Keep us posted, I'll e-mail you my address, maybe a couple of us can be a sort of "tag team" for your news reports, like if someones not home. Safety in numbers and all. Continue to take care Deb

Zimbo, glad that you posted an update on your mom. It is great that she is feeling so great. Just don't get too nervous if she eventually starts to feel tired or a metallic taste in her mouth, or hair loss. Remember, the effects of chemo are cumulative, so sometimes they don't kick in until later in the game. Then again, some people pretty much glide through. But she's off to a GREAT START ! Please continue to keep us posted. Cheers to you too!! Take care, Deb

Cindy, I agree completly with everyone here. My dad was dx in January 2002. When I spoke with the oncologist I asked him if he believed in giving timelines with a diagnosis, because I was afraid that this would affect my dads emotional state and dash his hopes thereby affecting how he handled not only the cancer, but the chemo.. The oncologist said "I do not believe in timelines, I am not God and I don't know how long a person has." This was not only a relief, but true. I, personally, believe that a persons mental state greatly affects how they respond to treatment. I believe it greatly hampers ones immune system if they become depressed and was willing to do almost ANYTHING to prevent this from happening to my dad. There are no guarantees in life, GOOD OR BAD. Statistics are merely numbers-everyone responds to treatment differently. The statstics are not only dated, but are very broad in who they include. IE a statistic about NSCLC or SCLC will include people of all ages, and in every possible state of health (weight, other medical concerns, lifestyles, etc.) So how reliable can they be? Also, if your Mom isn't comfortable with a doctor, or if a doctor seems to have tunnel vision with regard to outcome and treatment-seek another opinion. You will find many posts here about people that followed their gut instinct and had a great outcome-See posts by Mrs. Mike, Marlon, and JudyB to name just a few. No question is stupid on this board, and there is no such thing as "rambling"-as I feel guilty of right now, but will brush that thought from my mind. Use this board to vent, to seek support and to gain knowledge, and even offer each of the above to everyone else. We're a team here. I like to think of us as a wall...And you are an added brick...Welcome to the wall. Take care, Deb

Adam, I answered your post in the Good news forum. Just to let you know. Take care, Deb

Adam, welcome to the board, and thank you for your encouragement. Now, you posted that your dad was diagnosed with Lung Cancer, but they weren't sure of NSCLC or SCLC. I was wondering if they did a biopsy, how did they determine Lung Cancer, but not the type or stage? You never know, it may be another form of cancer that spread to the lungs afterward. You're right, the other leisions are "mets". My dad was diagnosed in January 2002, orig. with SCLC. By October the CT scans showed that the chemo wasn't having any effect on the cancer, but the fact that the cancer wasn't really growing indicated that he may have (and indeed, does have) NSCLC.. Typically SCLC responds to chemo, and if, in the rare event, it dosn't respond-it tends to spread really fast. My dad has a slow growing form of NSCLC. He also had mets to his spine, which the chemo did help, go figure. He is now on Iressa, and that seems to be helping. One tumor is shrinking, and the others are not growing, so they remain small. There is alot that can be done for cancer, try not to take the statistics so literally. Everyone is different and responds to treatment different. Dad had no major side effects from chemo, and although he eventually did have mets to the brain, they were handled with Gamma Knife. You are doing the right thing by seeking out information-and support. I never would have know about G.K. or many other therapies without the informtion I received on this board, and on the web. There is a plethra of information out there, if you know where to look and can somewhat absorb it all. How is your dad handeling all of this, emotionally? I know it will be hard on your mom and the rest of the family, too. My mom ended up needing Paxil to help her through all this, and it does help. Keep us posted on how things are going. And try to keep your chin up. Take advantage of the good days, and work through the rough ones. Take care and I'll keep you and your dad in my thoughts and add them to my prayers. Deb

Fay, nothing fills your heart with joy like an "empty head" ... GREAT NEWS!!! Continuing the positive thoughts for the CT. Take care, Deb

Well, yesterday we finally got the results of Dads latest CAT SCAN, and, despite some confusion on the doctors part, good news! What happened was, they told us to call for the results (although my sister and I told my parents to make an appt. with the doctor to get the results for 4 days AFTER the test was done-I remember what JudyB said that she does that) they didn't-because the office said to call for the results. So, I called. They said "Oh, we don't give results over the phone" Me: "Well, every test we've had so far, we've gotten the results over the phone (true)" Her: "Oh, really?, Well we do require that you make an appointment for the results" Me: "I can understand that, but we were told to call for the results. In the future we WILL make an appt. but right now, I need those results." I think she can hear me clenching my teeth as I speak, I tend to do that. Her: "Oh, your father has an appointment scheduled already." Me: "Oh, great, when?" Her: "On April tenth" Me: "NO WAY WE'RE WAITING THAT LONG" Her: "Ok, call back in a couple of hours" With that, I was going to be out, so my mom called and spoke with the Doctor. He said "one lesion remained the same, one shrunk, and I don't recall, but there is a third VERY SMALL lesion. I just don't remember if he had a third" Ok, so my mom is upset. She calls me and tells me, and I'm going "THIS IS GREAT NEWS!!" she dosn't get it.. Fortunatly, my sister and I BOTH remembered that Dad had the third lesion show up on a CAT last summer. Orig. he had one tumor in each lung, than last Aug. a third small one showed up. SO, there have been three. ONE SHRUNK, NO NEW ONES, AND WHO KNOWS IF THE THIRD GREW AND THEN SHRUNK, TOO? Anyway, they're keeping him on the Iressa, and I'm going on the 10th with my dad to make sure of the findings. The doctor didn't have dads records on hand when he spoke with Mom, just the results. And he forgot the third tumor, they didn't make a big deal of it when it was found because it was so small. Anyway, thats the WHOLE STORY. Inhale....exhale... I guess we got a bit of door #1 and door #2...not bad, not bad at all. (reference to my General post about dads cat coming up) Take care and thank you ALL for the prayers and positive vibes... Deb

Shannon, I agree that this sounds very positive. Isn't it great when you follow your gut and its RIGHT!!! I LOVE when that happens. You and Mike sure are on the right track now!!! I think I can, I think I can... All aboard!!! I keep thinking, and hearing these words in the voice of Yosemite Sam "I HATES when doctors make assumptions!!!" Keep us posted. Take care, Deb

LeeAnn, I posted a reply to your post in the General catagory. Deb

LeeAnne, I am so sorry about your dad. It is so sad when someone is sick, as he is, and if he has lost hope-it makes it even sadder. Maybe you could print some of the positive stories that are posted on this site. As far as the mets to liver and adrenal gland, have you looked into Radiofrequency Ablation? There are several posts on this board about it, and if you go on the web and contact a facility that administers this very non-invasive procedure, they may be able to tell you if your dad would possibly be a candidate. I can understand why your dad is so negative, it is difficult enough when you don't feel well, but when the doctors give you no hope of ever FEELING better-let alone GETTING better, well, who wouldn't be ready to give up. Then again, there are those who say F*#* That, and tell the doctors F*%# you. As did a friend of my sisters. Diagnosed over 6 years ago with terminal Ovarian cancer and told she had only 3 months left to live-she got mad and said to the doctors face "F*%# YOU, this is MY LIFE, and who the He** are YOU to tell me that it is over." she then proceeded to get a second opinion and found a doctor that would fight WITH her to prove those others wrong. I would say a second opinion is in order. Ones mental state, which can be very definatly affected by a doctor and how positive/negative they are, have ALOT to do with how they handle an illness like cancer. Think about it. I remember my psychology teacher telling us about a report that was written in medical books about this guy that was going through the whole hazing thing to get into a college frat. Anyway, hell night arrived and the Frat boys started a bon-fire and got this branding iron-in front of the soon to be inductees-and placed it in the fire to get it RED HOT. They then instructed the inductees to turn around and expose their rears. They were then blindfolded. However, instead of using the branding iron (which was just to scare the poor kids that were about to be accepted into the frat), the frat guys got an ice cube and placed it on the rear of one of the kids. Do you know what happened? The POWER OF SUGGESTION, my friend. The kid ended up with a third degree burn because in his mind he was being branded with the red hot branding iron, not a melting ice cube. My point, and I do have one, is that the mind is a powerful thing. If you could get your dad a second opinion, and a doctor that would be more positive in his/her approach, it could (and I think will)make a world of difference. Good luck. Positive thoughts and prayers your way. Take care, and keep us posted. Deb

Fay, Prayers and positive vibes on the way! I hope the test results come back clear and also that they are able to figure out what is making your mom get the headaches and nausea. Let us know how things are going. Take care, Deb

Cathy, I think its great that your dads new doctors are more positive. You've been missed. My dad is now off the steroids and his breathing is improving, he's gained alot of weight on them, real puffy from the neck up. Let us know about the blood clot thing, if your dad-like mine-has been resting alot and not moving around alot, that is when the blood clots develop. The warm Florida weather will be good for him and also its is GREAT NEWS ABOUT THE MRI AND CAT SCANS!!!! Keep us posted, Deb

Laurie, all I have to say is "EEEK" your dad calling your current by you ex's name is a definate NO-NO . I like your moms response, though. She sounds like a really cool lady. take care, deb

Spazzums, I agree that a second opinion would definatly NOT HURT. I am so sorry that things are going so terribly right now. Have you looked into Gamma Knife for the brain mets? My dad had it, and, according to his neurosergion-WHERE THE TUMOR IS (or tumors if applies) are NOT an issue in whether a person can be treated with GK-it dosn't matter where they are, just how many and how large. SCLC is an aggressive disease, but that dosn't mean it is an automatic death sentence. I just received a private message from a woman named Lynn whose father had SCLC 20 years ago, and did great for 20 years!! It is just now that he may be experiencing a recurrance. And just think of the medical advances that are available NOW, as compared to 20 years ago!! If your husbands family choose not to get a second opinion, just try to know that this is ALOT to deal with. And that you tried. I would just think that they would be so sad if they ever found themselves saying "What if...we'd have gone for that second opinion" and then have to live with that on their consciences'. Please keep us posted. Maybe if your husband read some of the posts here on this board, he'd find the strength it takes to get his dad a second opinion. Take care, Deb

Peggy, although it is sad that you needed it, I am very happy to welcome you to this wonderful site. Support, advice, and knowledge are plentyful here. That being said, you mentioned the Iressa expanded access program was a disaster, was it that your sister couldn't get approved? As far as trying other types of treatment, you may want to look into macrobiotic dieting. I don't know if your sister would be up for this drastic of a change in her diet, but maybe even making SOME changes in her diet would help. There is a website called ONEPEACEFULWORLD.COM, that has some pretty impressive stories about people being very ill, one woman was receiving hospice care, she had SSLC-changed to a macrobiotic diet-and still going strong after over 8 years! My grandfather has a friend that was in his 70's, he has-I believe it was prostate cancer-that had spread EVERYWHERE-he was given three months. His wife said "The hell with that", completely did a dietary makeover-all natural-she shopped at a store here in NY called Trader Joes-they are an all natural grocery store. And he is still going strong over 7 years later! They moved to FLA to enjoy the sun about 5 years ago. My point, and I do have one, is that there are some changes that, in conjunction with medical treatment (chemo, etc) I believe help boost a person's immune system and help the body and the chemo-or whatever other medical treatment being used-to work. Take care, and keep us posted, Deb

Ocean, I am so sorry for your loss. That it came so quickly as it did. It is wonderful that you were able to fulfill your promise to your dad. To be there during his passing, singing-must have made it a beautiful transition for him as he entered the next phase. I hope that you find comfort in that. It truly is a beautiful thing that you all did. Deb

Hopeful, when Dad started Chemo and we were doing research I had read up on PCI (Profolactic Craneal Irradation). From what I read, the side effects regarding memory or thought processes are pretty minimal. I remember reading that the biggest change would be in a person's ablilty to solve complicated mathmatical problems in their head (say they have a job working with numbers-an engineer, or accountant, ets). But that the average person would find the side effects are "barely noticible". Not bad. Good luck with it. I think that there is something to be said for being aggressive about treatment. Keep us posted on the 3/31 scan, sending positive thoughts your way. Besides, I figure that there are the usual memory problems for everyone, no matter the age. Yesterday I wanted to get my 2 year olds attention-and I whistled and said "Hey, Farley"-No, Farley is NOT my daughters name, it is my dogs name. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't at my older daughters dance school. I could feel the big "L" on my forehead. As I see it, as we get older, we have more and more things to remember. So sometimes you gotta let the "trivial" stuff (ie. a movie stars name) go-even though it can drive you crazy-to make room for the more important stuff, like, say, your own KIDS NAMES! Take care, and best wishes, Deb

Sandy, I am so sorry for your loss. You and your children are in my thoughts and prayers. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you. I hope that you will keep in touch with us, if you feel the need to vent or need a shoulder to cry on. We are here to offer support. Deb

Shordy, glad you had a break. I was just wondering, had they found out what was causing his legs to swell? Was it the Iressa? My dad is in the hospital now, his calf and foot were swollen. It turned out to be a HUGE bloodclot! But they put a cathiter in his abdomen to filter out this or any OTHER blood clots he may get in the future, so that they get filtered out and don't reach the heart or lungs. Anyway, just glad to see you posting. Sometimes writing down your feelings allows the other person to really GET what you're feeling. It dosn't allow for them to become defensive. They have to take it all in. I am so glad to hear that you got to have such a heartfelt moment with your dad. You said you just sort of showed up at the hospital, and didn't really know why you were going there. When you got there your dad was along, and crying, and you were able to have a couple of heart to heart talks. Sounds like his invisible forcefield was down and you were lucky enough to be there!!! Well, maybe a little guardian angel was on your shoulder, gently whispering that you needed to be there . In any case, I love when things like that happen. When we do something that we weren't really planning on, and than something miraculous happens. So glad that you were able to share your feelings with your dad. Continue to take care, Deb

CQ, thank you so much for bringing this article to our attention. I am from Long Island, and used to get Newsday-until two weeks ago-now I am going to call and get a new subscription-and I'm going to write an editorial praising this article, too. Thanks again!! Deb

Shordy, I'm glad you feel better-and I believe your Daddy does too. Because, when all is said and done, he's your Dad. Take care, and keep in touch. Deb