Debaroo

Judy, I just KNEW you'd be the one to get this forum rolling again!!! Thank you for the laugh. Deb

rick, my favorite episode is when Patrick convinces Spongebob to go to the "carnival" with him...and when they get there they are the only ones there, and Spongebob dosn't understand why...then the camera pans out and you see a bunch of fish hooks dangeling down, and Patrick gets on one and takes a "ride" up and then jumps off...THAT ONE CRACKED ME UP!!! It made a huge spongebob fan out of me, although I am STILL in withdrawl on Thursday nights at 9pm channel 4-I MISS SEINFELD SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! Take care, Deb

Carleen, I know you are disappointed in the results of Keiths CT scans, but let me tell you-there is something to be said for "maintainin"...of course you would prefer shrinkage, but let me tell you, if we could get my dads cancer to just stay the same-I'd be happy with that. Try to remember that NO CHANGE in the disease = NO PROGRESSION OF the disease...and that IS good news. I will continue to keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers, you guys are such a beautiful couple!! Give the meds a chance, ask your doc. when you could expect a change so that you have a guideline to see if you need something else. Also, my mom has had a heart murmer her whole life, and her heart is just fine...but DO try to take care of yourself. Take care, Deb

Thank you so much for all of your support, guys...And Estelle, I hope you're right, I keep telling myself that too. That sometimes things take such a downslide, and then, after some work, it is resolved and things will start to maintain again...I hope. Carol, I private messaged you. I hope Gene is doing alright. It really has been a HUGE help knowing that all of you are here, and that I have a place to go whenever I need to. Dad goes to the pulmanologist today (friday) at 12:30, and I am hoping and praying that his lung can be drained and they can get it working again. I will, of course, keep you all posted. My dear friends, we've never met and yet when I need to confide in someone how things are going, you are the first people I want to go to...you understand, and I can't express how grateful I am to each and every one of the 400+ members here. Everyone dosn't have to answer, I know there are posts I read and don't respond to, but I STILL say a prayer and think of them. Take care, guys Deb

Bob, first let me begin by congradulating you on your new grandson!!! I am sorry that the Taxotere dosn't seem to be doing the trick, I hope you have better luck with the next course of treatment. My dad was on Taxotere and just stopped the Iressa today, they just didn't cut it. I am sorry that you are having the stomach problems and pain, and not much help in the way of finding out why or how to resolve them. Good news about the kidney, though. Your subject title pretty much says it all Good times/bad times. I hope that you are able to enjoy your grandson through all of this, and TRY to concentrate on the GOOD TIMES... As far as the referral for the neurologist, what the hell, get one...it can't hurt and may be helpful in either easing your mind, or you pain...either way, the benefits may just be worth it. My mom worked for SSA, and I think you should be approved, although it does take the six months to get approved, keep record of all of your Dr. visits, etc.. and let us know how it goes, in six months that is. Take care of yourself, just wanted to say "hang in there" and also ask what your new grandsons name is. Deb

Hi Kerry, From what I understand- Gamma knife is used when mets are to the brain itself, I really don't know if it can be used for mets to the skull, but I don't think so. Don is right, conventional radiation would be the probable treatment for skull mets. I remember reading one of my dads MRI reports and it stated that there were bony protrusions on dads skull, and that they were "possible bone metasis"-so I figure skull=bonemets...he was due to go for a bone scan today, but since his lung collapsed, it is being delayed... I hope this was of some help, I am sure that there are other people on this board whos experiences would be of more help to you, just like Don and Laura seemed to be more informative. Good luck, and I hope that whatever the treatment is, it is done soon and your Mother In Law starts to feel better. take care, Deb

Well, the onc. called me today...Dad has mets to the liver, but the worst part is that his left lung is almost completly collapsed, and they don't know if it is just fluid causing it, or a tumor. He will go to a pulm. and they will try to use a needle to relieve some of the fluid, but if it isn't fluid than I don't know what will happen. I'm scared, and numb at the same time. I'm sad, and numb at the same time. I don't know what to do...I asked about RFA for the liver mets and the onc. said to check it out, that it just might work..but first we have to deal with the collapsed lung, since he can't undergo chemo until that is handled, he is much tooo weak. Just, please pray you guys...I know I don't even have to ask, but I feel so powerless right now...and so dumb. Thank God the board is online today, I think I'd go crazy if it weren't, as I have been for the past two days of it being offline and not being able to check in on and with all of you...I felt lost, just so lost. Thank you all for being here. Take care, Deb

Shannon, I am so sorry for your loss...you and Mike are still awe-inspiring. You have been in my thoughts and prayers, and will continue to be. I just don't know what to say. I cannot be there with you in person, but please know that I am with you in spirit...and Mike will be with you always, too.. Deb

I'm with you, Dave. I don't know how many times I've read posts in the Just for Laughs forum and at least one person responds with a "thank you for the laugh, I really needed that" reply (I've felt that way many times myself). It was a way that, if a person needed it, you could look for something to "take the edge off". And if you weren't in the mood or need for it, you just didn't go there. I wouldn't feel comfortable relaying a funny experience in the General forum because it might offend someone who is just not having a good moment. I'll miss JudyBs' "for women only" posts-but I don't think my husband will . Take care, Deb

Mary, I don't blame you for being pissed off. But who better to help them through this than their aunt. I think that it probably is a great comfort to them to know that you are there for them. Special prayers for added strength, for you and your family. take care, Deb

Thank you ALL for your support. Shellie, NEVER FEEL GUILTY for being sad that your mother has cancer...there is NO ONE on this board that deserves more or less empathy or understanding than anyone else...Ultimatly we are ALL in the same boat. We are worried about and care about someone very dear to us that is fighting a tough battle. (or may just be in the battle ourselves...my point is there is NO GUILT. OK? OK. Thank you for your advice regarding the shortness of breath, I will ask the doctor about the bronchitis. THe weird thing is, his lungs sound clear. Don, Mary and BobMC thank you all for your kind words. Just so you guys know, from what my moms surgeons can see, it seems that in surgery they "got it all" (ovarian). I just don't want everyone to worry about it, shes doing pretty well, really. The most difficult things are that SHE is worried about my dad, and the chemo causes her GREAT PAIN in her joints (which are already comprimised by rheumatoid arthritis) and she has Fibromialga. But, again, the TRULY BRIGHT side is, the chemo is 'preventative', six rounds total 4 down, 2 to go!!! Katie, as usual, you hit the nail right on the head. Since my moms hospitalization in April, it seems to have taken a HUGE TOLL on my dads health, and fighting his cancer. He says he's not worried, but give me a break. Thank you for your prayers. Take care, everyone, Deb

Shellie, let me begin by saying that you should not feel badly about showing your Mother how you feel. Your feelings are your feelings and you cannot help that. And she knows that. I am sure that if your mother decides to change her mind and continue the battle, it will be because of her own decision-and you mustn't feel guilty about showing your heart. Also, regarding your feeling that you must make up what a hard time you gave her during your adolesance, the kind of adult you have become is more than enough of a payback. We all go through some sort of difficult period in our teenage years, a period that probably causes much worry and frustration with our parents...some take a rougher path than others, but as long as the path leads to a pretty well adjusted, CARING, and DECENT adult-THAT is what matters to parents. I am sure that you have made it up to your mother tenfold by the way that you have cared about, and always will care, about her as an adult. She knows. Moms always know. And don't feel guilty for having married and supporting your husband by moving away so that he may continue his career in the military. Don't waste the time you have with your mom, however long or short it may be, on guilt. Because it will not allow you to ENJOY your time with her...and THAT is sooooooo important. I am sure your mom would agree. If it would make you feel better, let her know that these things bother you, but please don't beat yourself up over the past. CARPE' DIEM, SEIZE THE DAY!!!! Be proud that you are sticking with your mother during a time that, if you read other posts here about people frustrated with sibiling that are NOT being proactive in their parents fight...be proud that you are here for her during what may well be the most difficult battle of her life. Share your feelings, show your feelings, show your love. Regarding the 'taking your mothers place', think about what THAT would do to your mother. The best tribute to her would be your supporting her and carrying on no matter how difficult the road gets. Please talk to a professional about how depressed you are. It is normal to be depressed at a time like this, but you must take care of yourself and get the support you need to get through this AND to help your mother get through it. Please do as Don suggested, you will find that, especially on this board, anti-depressants are pretty popular. You do what you must to get through. As the Beatles say "what ever gets you through the night, its alright, its alright".. Take care of yourself and stop beating yourself up for being human. You are a good daughter. Deb

I am beside myself. Dad was just to the onc. on Thurs, he has had shortness of breath and a nasty cough-but his lungs sound clear. I don't understand it. He brushed his teeth this morning and was so winded from it he napped for an hour and a half. I asked mom if they checked his blood oxygen level, she's pretty sure they did and that it was normal. His apetite is a bit better, but his spirits are LOW, so low. He sits and stares into space, he thinks that this is it, the end. He feels frustrated and is fed up with living such a 'poor' quality of life. He refuses to go to the hospital. On top of that, Mom had chemo thursday and is in ALOT of pain. Just don't know what to do. I feel lost and frustrated. Just needed to vent. Take care, guys. Deb

Oh, Peggy, I am so sorry. I know you didn't want to go into the details, but you would NOT be boring us if you did. In fact, maybe someone would be able to provide you with a little insight. If you are too tired, though, it is understandable. As for your nieces, I can't imagine how heartbreaking this is for them. I wish I could do more than offer support and prayers, I wish I could help more, somehow. But I just wanted you to know that I will be thinking about you, your sister and her little girls. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted as much as you can, and don't EVER worry about going into detail or rambeling. Take care, Deb

Shannon, after seeing what my dad has been going through, I can TOTALLY see why malnurishment is the cause of 2/3rds of cancer patient deaths. I wish I knew that statistic a week ago, but dad is on a new apetite enhanser and it seems to be doing the trick. I am glad that you guys are going back to Tulsa-praying the "fog" will lift Mikes strength will improve. When my mom was in the hospital awaiting surgery for her ovarian cancer, she was TERRIFIED, I swear her roommate was an angel. She told my mother to take all her worries, put them in a box and send it up to God...He'll take care of it. After that conversation, my Mom did just that, she handled everything with new eyes...and STILL does. Her roommate really gave her a great gift, the gift of FAITH. It will never steer you wrong. Take care, Shannon and Mike, Deb

OK DAVE, now we all have to get together IN PERSON and do THE WAVE!!! A toast "GO DAVE, GO DAVE, GO-GO-GO DAVE!! (CLINK) CHEERS!!!" now, army style (sort of) OK PE-OPLE DON'T BE SHY (ok people, don't be shy) DAVES CAN-CER IS GON' BYE-BYE (daves can-cer is gon' bye-bye) BAD CELLS THEY ARE DROPPIN' LIKE FLIES (bad cells they are droppin' like flies) SOUND OFF (ONE-TWO) THREE FOUR (THREE FOUR) Who loves ya baby?! Take care, Deb ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR CAN-CER WILL BE-NO-MORE!!!!!

Tracy, I agree, a small chance is STILL A CHANCE...and that is enough!! Good luck to your dad, and keep us posted..Take care, Deb

Shelly, I can relate a bit to what you are going through with your mom. Since this whole steriods thing, Dad has decided that, should he get brain mets again, he would forgo treatment, especially the steroids!!! Maybe if you print out a couple of posts that your mom would be able to relate to...posts about how a person was feeling so badly during treatment, but is now on the upswing. If you'd like a hand, I can search through the old posts and note the ones that might help encourage her, right now she is feeling so badly that she dosn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have talked with my dad since he has been feeling so badly lately, and he would do chemo again (he handled the first 2 types very well), but I keep wondering that if his cancer IS progressing, and he is in a more weakend state (when he started treatment, no one believed he had cancer he was looking and feeling so good) so, with his health on more of a down slide right now...what does that mean for how he will handle the next round-if he needs? Really, I would gladly help you out by finding posts that might help your mom see that "this too shall pass" and that, eventually, she will start to feel better. Its so hard. I understand that the quality of life is more important than the quantity of time you get...But if the quality is only compromised for a period, and then can get better, than it is SO WORTH IT!!! Take care, and let me know if I could help...Deb

Jay, it is good to hear that your body is healing. I am so sorry about your losing your mom, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. But, as a mother, I know that if something were to happen to me-I would want my children to have the strength to keep going...your mom will always be a part of you. You are a part of her. Remember her, what would she want you to do? I think that your not being scared of the chemo makes sense, as you said, that you've been through so much-the chemo seems like nothing. But maybe your Mom has given you the strength, too. I know that she is watching you and with you always. You are her heart, and your job now is to take care of yourself through the pain. How is your sister doing? and your Father? There have been and will continue to be many hopeful thoughts and prayers going out for you and in honor of your mom. We are here, and your friends Tony and Tina have been wonderful to let us know how you are doing. Having such devoted friends really is quite telling about what kind of a person you are. Try to be strong, take things slowly and when you need to sound off, if your angry or sad or get fed up, we are here...there are no rules here, you can just let it all go...Consider us your personal cheering squad. Take care of you, and keep us posted when you can. Much love and as our wonderful ConnieB would say MANY "WARM AND GENTLE HUGS". Deb

Shellie, thank you for sharing your moms experience...unfortunatly Dad has been off the steriods since the beginning of April, although his onc. said that the effects could take months to work out. I am so glad that you found her feeling so much better this morning. I am glad for her AND for you. Deanna, thank you for your prayers...I'm with you PRAYING HARD that all of this is from the steriods. I can't explain just how disappointed I am in the neuro Doc. He was so wonderful up until recently. Its like he's been transmorgified into one of "them", you know, those callous doctors that should be working in a lab, NOT with actual HUMAN BEINGS! Jack and Cheryl, you are SO RIGHT, you have to be right up front with the medical professionals-they should have to meet the needs of their patients, not just medically, but emotionally. I think there should be regular inservices about PATIENTS: TREATING THEM WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT. I mean, yes they work hard to earn that degree, but our loved ones-and ALL THE PATIENTS-have sure as hell earned the right to be treated with empathy...they should actually call the inservice "HOW TO TREAT YOUR PATIENTS ACCORDING TO THE GOLDEN RULE". Katie, I was thinking as I read Ricks post about your father and posted a reply to it myself the same exact thing that you just noted...looks like once again you and I are facing some serious worries and WAITING (the excruciating part) with our dads. I have to remind dads neurologist just what an amazingly sweet man he is dealing with here, and he'd better keep in mind that thats MY DAD he's treating-he'd better do it right, or else "POW-RIGHT IN THE KISSER!!!" I hope that your dad starts to feel better now that he's not dehydrated anymore. Being dehydrated can really do a number on you. OH, and, I want my daughters future grandfather-in-law at the wedding too!!!!! Take care, EVERYBODY, and thank you for the support... I know I'll sound like a drunk guy when I say this, but I really mean it "I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!" I am now mentally grabbing you each around the head and giving you noogies...ha ha ha. Take care, Deb

Mary, what can I say except "WOW"...your sister sounds like good people, as do you and your family. I am so sorry for this turn in her health...I wish I knew what to say...like Katie said, thank you for the honour of letting us know your sister and you. Her remarkable attitude and personality are amazing...Your sister and her boys, as we as you and your family, are in my thoughts and prayers, take care, Deb

I called the oncologist office yesterday, explained my concerns about dad. He sleeps ALOT, still barely eats, is constipated, and is having alot of pain in the stomach and back...and in the past few days has developed a REALLY TERRIBLE cough. I told the nurse pract. that I was very worried. She said that she could get a perscription for the pain, and that the meds to increase his appetite could take a week or so to work...I told her that I believed it was time for a CT scan, and that I really wanted this checked out. She said shed talk to the DR. and call me right back. Fifteen min later she called back and said that the Dr. agreed with me and scheduled a CT scan of the pelvic area, chest and abdomen. It isn't until Next thursday, but the radiology dept said we should call every day to check for cancellations. I know that all of this could be from the stopping the steriods, you don't eat and it affects how your body functions and can cause pain...but seeing my dad tells me it is more. He looks good, but he is so tired, and he is getting fed up with feeling so badly. Swears that if he ever needed to go back on steriods, if he ever has brain mets again, he will refuse. He hated how they made him feel and that the affects have lingered for so long. Today my parents went to price club and dad needed to sit down after walking from the car to the store. Then he got up and got 1 item and told my mom he was going to wait for her in the car. He was so short winded and fatigued. Its like he is deteriorating so quick right before our eyes. Although it could be the affects from not having an apetite (again, this is very common after stopping steriods), just the knowledge that the cancer may be doing its job on him is absolutely terrifying! The thing is, he was just at the onc. office last week and his lungs sounded great! Now this cough has him where he can't even talk. He sounds like me, I get this nasal drip during allergy season and all I do is cough. He has allergies, but they usually just make him sneeze alot. The cough has developed over that past few days. My mom called me up crying. She is frightened. She feels so bad for him, seeing him suffer like this. And he is so strong about it. I swear if you were to ask him how he was, hed say, "not bad" or "pretty good". OH, and get this, I mentioned in an earlier post that dad had a follow up with the neurologist for the most recent MRI to see how the tumors are re absorbing and check for any other mets. Well the appt. was LAST TUESDAY, and he never got to see the Doc. because of an emergency surgery. They were supposed to call my mom with the results...and havn't. I have called several times, and today when I called last I told the receptionist to please tell the doctor that I think it is dispicable that he would make someone wait for such important test results like this, and to be so uncaring as to not even return a phone call. I also told her that we understand that Dad is not his only patient, and don't expect him to stop an emergency surgery to call, but I DO expect a call by the end of that business day! I told her that my dads oncologist could just as easily schedule any follow up MRI's AND READ THEM and compare them to the past MRI's, and that this is what we would be doing from now on. While we were happy with the doctors medical expertese, the fact that he has neglected to have the respect to call my dad back was disgusting. To keep ANYONE waiting for results like this is inexcusable. And that the doctor is to call ME back, as I do not want him talking to my parents and upsetting them, regardless if the results were good or not. At first my sister was annoyed with me for saying that I wouldn't be sending dad back there, but when I told her that I was completly calm and also threw in a compliment about the doctors medical expertese, and explained to my sister about how Dr. Gold found the mets in the first place, so why can't he figure out how things are going? HE CAN!! Then she said I was right. Besides, since dad would probably refuse any further treatment should he experience brain mets again, there was no point in making him go to this Dr. and wait and possibly never be seen or called. Its weird, the neurosergeon was SO NICE, and SO great with treatment and with talking to my dad. We really liked him.. I don't know what has happened that the treatment of his patient has deteriorated like this, its really mind boggeling. And frustrating. Well, thats it for now. Thanks for the outlet, guys. Take care of yourselves and please know that you are all in my prayers and I think of you guys CONSTANTLY through the day. Prayers are always appreciated. Thanks again, take care, Deb

Katie, I am so sorry that your dad is experiencing the dizzyness and was dehydrated. I think I know what is going through your mind right now. Although many different things, as the previous posts noted, can cause the dizzyness you may want to request an MRI asap. Even if it isn't brain mets, at least it could be ruled out. And if it is, remember that much can be done. Your Dad and family are in my prayers, as always. Take care, Deb

Shannon, I pray for Mikes pain to go away, and I pray for your continued strength. I don't know how you do it, there is only one answer LOVE. And THAT IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT. Hang in there, Keep your chin up. You are doing the right thing, and I hope that knowing you've got alot of friends here, rooting for you both, helps give you the strength you need. Take care, Deb

WAY TO GO DAVID!!! Sorry I'm a bit late for the party, but I am totally celebrating with everyone!!!! Now grab yourself a glass, give one to your wife, and your beautiful girl a sippy cup of apple juice and join me in a toast "TO KICKING CANCERS *ss!!!!! AAAAOOOOOHHHHHGAAAAAAA!!!! (CLINK) CHEERS! CHEERS! CHEERS!!! Take care, and a "BIG HUG" as the Teletubbies would say!!! Deb